The Source of Results: The Coffee Shop Analogy

When I work with clients sometimes I ask them something like, "what would make this conversation extraordinary for you?"... My coach Rich Litvin always asks me questions like this and it really stops me in my tracks and simultaneously turns on a sharpness in my brain that just wasn't activated yet in that moment.

I worked with a top Michelin Star chef recently, let's call him Ivan... I asked him this question. He thinks for a moment and tells me that he is having some issues at work. People seem to be questioning his abilities and it's really messing with him and his performance. The way he sees it, they don't understand, they are being judgemental and critical. What would make it extraordinary for him is if they would stop doing that!

Underneath it all, I hear he wants to be acknowledged and recognised for his work and he wants to feel validated too... I ask him to park it for now and we will circle back and join the dots later.

And then I say, "Imagine you have been walking around for hours and you walk into a coffee shop. You see a chair and its the only chair available... What does it look like to you?"

Ivan: "Appealing/attractive"

"And whats your way of being and the action you take?"

Ivan: "Relieved and then I go and put my coat on the chair and sit down".

This would result in some kind of rest, recovery and relief.

(Obviously, I'm giving you an edited version here as I had to expand on and distinguish what I meant by 'looks like' and 'way of being' (happy, sad, excited, energised etc etc).

"What if you walked in and you see a chair, it is the only one available and it had a bent leg that you could see from the door?"

Ivan: "Hmm not so good... It might look quite dodgy and that it could break!"

"And what would be your way of being and the action you'd take this time?"

Ivan: "Cautious and I'd probably go elsewhere".

"Why?" I asked....

Ivan: " Because I had been walking around for hours and would be desperate for a seat!"

A different result altogether!

Whats the point in all this?

The source of results is the action that you take or don't take. This is pretty straightforward but it's not the whole story just yet.

The way you are 'being' happens at the same time as action (this has been proven in various Neuroscience studies) so this means that the source of results at this stage is acting AND being.

So what then, is the source of acting and being?

The source of acting and being is the way something 'looks' or your 'view'... Now before I go on let me just say that this thing called 'looks' or 'view' is a whole other session/article completely because your relationship to the way something looks or your views, is so critical to this whole thing. Watch this space for more on this later.

Lets recap and slow it down a bit so you can get it.

The chair was free and it looked appealing/attractive to Ivan so his way of being was relieved and the action was to sit down.

When I changed the scenario to the chair had a bent leg, the way it looked altered (dodgy) and the being (cautious) and action (leave!).

Change the way something looks, or your view and alter the result.

So far then the source of results looks like its the way something 'looks'... Right?

So what's the source of the way something looks!?

The source of the way something looks is what is important.

In the first scenario, I asked Ivan to imagine that he had been walking around for a few hours. This naturally created something being important to him namely rest and recovery... It was so important to him that initially he went straight to the chair and sat down. In the second scenario, he even wanted to leave because he needed a seat so badly!

To illustrate this point, let me ask you to imagine a third scenario... Imagine you are on your way to work, your train leaves in less than 10 minutes. You walk into a coffee shop and you see a chair, its the only chair available. How does it look?

I'm guessing you'll answer something like that it doesn't even show up or not important at all because what is most important is getting a coffee asap and getting on that train. So your view (of the situation) alters your being and acting and the outcome alters too.

Are you taking in what I'm putting out?

So far then we can understand that the source of results is actually what's important right? So in that case, what is the source of what is important??!!

The source of what is important is YOU. You choose, decide, make up what is important to you. In any situation at any time.

Therefore the source of results is YOU.

Now I know that you might be thinking something like 'I know that' but I promise you knowing makes no real difference. All this as walked through above is happening at supersonic speeds every second of every day and 'what's important' is really not something we ask ourselves or are present and connected to all the time... But maybe, just maybe if you start to get this and slow-it-right-down it can help you reflect on past events or important situations that you are dealing with right now.

So I'll leave you with the ultimate question... Whats important to you? Whats important to you at work? In that situation at home? Or that future that you are working toward? What is REALLY important? Get connected to that and see what happens.

We have just scratched the surface here in terms of really distinguishing the source of results and its tricky to get! Like sand in the hand... So consider this is just the start of something for your brain to take in.

What I'm working on right now is completing my first book entitled "The Source of Results". I intend to really break out the process of being at the source of your results in such a way that it can be gotten simply and applied in your life more easily. This post and future posts will make up the bones of the final edit.

Thanks for reading and I trust we got a few new neurons firing which is always a good thing.

Watch out for my next article called 'What is Performance' for anyone interested in performance!

Ryan

PS You are probably wondering what happened to Ivan's work situation? Well, when he got that he was the source of his results, he then got that what was most important to him at work was seeking approval from others and surviving each day, and how that had been impacting him. This awareness allowed him to get present to what was REALLY important to him, which was being creative, free and self-expressed. When he got connected to this it was a game-changing moment for him.