Spend the money on you - why investing in yourself matters

Investment. Diversification. Growth.

These words often bring to mind financial portfolios.

But what about investing in yourself?

Far too often, women prioritize everyone else’s needs over their own and see spending money on personal development as indulgent.

I don't discuss this issue as often as I used to. Yet, the recurring habit of women putting themselves last forces me to say something.

I've led many workshops, written extensively, and advised women leaders on the importance of self-investment. I understand the struggle and have seen many professional women struggle with it.

The reluctance to invest in ourselves

Recently, I had a discovery call with a senior leader who decided not to invest in herself, saying she couldn't afford the coaching services. Of course, I respected her decision. Then a few weeks later, she reached out and decided to spend the same amount of money on interview coaching for her son, who had just graduated college. Since he didn't need my specialized services, I suggested some excellent, affordable self-paced courses and directed her to my free resources.

However, she insisted on my coaching for her son.

And I promise, I am not writing this article to judge her decision. I simply want to shed light on this pervasive tendency to put others' needs before our own.

I have noticed this over and over again. Women often feel guilty about diverting financial resources or time on themselves.

The thought process often goes like this, "what if there is an emergent need for the family later down the line, or what if I miss some important milestone while I am doing this self-care thing or even "shouldn't I only spend money on 'important' things?"

Women constantly struggle with prioritizing themselves - for development, for self-care, paying for coaching, getting funding, joining networking organizations, and countless other ways.

The high cost of neglecting yourself

Neglecting self-investment will lead to stagnation and burnout. This could be stagnation and burnout in our careers or even stagnation and burnout in our emotional well being.

When you consistently put others' needs before your own, you risk depleting your energy and enthusiasm, ultimately affecting your ability to support those you care about.

And as you continue to run on 'empty,' you feel mentally and physically exhausted.

What if?

What if instead of feeling guilty about self care and self-investment, we reframe the decision as, 'self-care and self investment is necessary and vital for me and my loved ones.'

And what if we owned this, 'learning to advocate for ourselves and confidently spending on our growth is the building block for self-worth.' And then started investing in ourselves. Would we feel worthy? Powerful even?

And what if shared our stories?

Of self-investment.

Of growth.

Of success.

Hearing stories from people who have successfully invested in themselves can empower countless others. Would those 'others' then have the necessary horsepower to overcome the reluctance to prioritize themselves?

And could we then create a ripple effect?

Impact thousands?

A generation? and then another?

Where to start?

First, let's assess if we consistently question even small investments in our growth. Next, let's admit we have a problem. Then we get to work.

• First identify where you want to go. Then make a plan to get there
• Set up a separate bank account for self-investment. Funnel money to that account directly from your paycheck.
• On a weekend, block out time on the calendar for 'self' activities
• Spend those times reaching out to like-minded people. A supportive community will help keep you accountable.
• Write an affirmation every day, 'I invest in my growth because I believe I am worth it.

Allocating dollars and cents

Here is a general rule of thumb for making decisions on spending for courses or self-care or development opportunities. You can adjust the thresholds according to your financial situation:

1. Any course, development, self-care opportunity under $1,000: Spend.
2. Any course, development, self-care opportunity between $1,000 and $10,000: Spend after asking the provider to provide ROI numbers, social proof, and referrals. Spend.
3. Any course, development, or self-care opportunity over $10,000: Discuss with your spouse/partner to determine if the opportunity is right and adjust your family budget accordingly. Spend.

It is time to stop questioning if we should spend the money on our growth. It is time to take action. The often repeated cliche of the oxygen mask is actually very true. It's time to prioritize ourselves.

Let's finally embrace the value of self-investment.

Let's start today!

Dorothy Mashburn is an interview and salary negotiation coach on a mission to help women confidently negotiate their value. You can reach her here.