The Standard You Set: A New Year Resolution
With the New Year (2025) approaching, I always like to spend a fair amount of time in December reflecting on the previous 12 months and setting some sort of goal, or rather a standard for the following year.
A standard differs from a goal, in that it is NOT a one-time achievable feat, but more willingly something you need to live up to every day.
It’s kind of like a ‘New Year Resolution’, but more so, a daily reminder to help you transform into the person you want to become.
*I know that New Year’s resolutions are often mocked at for their short-lived nature and baseless thought, but I truly believe that most people don’t execute on their resolutions simply because of the lack of clarity and time that they put into their reflection.*
That said, I want to provide you with one or two nuggets that help me prepare and ultimately develop a standard that I try to hold myself to.
As I go through this process, the first questions I like to ask myself is:
What type of person do I want to become?
I’ve used this question to elicit monumental changes in my life.
That said, when posing this question, the ‘how’ is certainly more difficult that the ‘what’.
The ‘what’ tells me who I want to become. But the ‘how’ tells me what I need to do to get there.
How do I become this type of person?
How does my behavior need to change to be in alignment with the person I want to be?
After further analysis into my own questionnaire, I realize that what I want to become doesn't really matter if I neglect the how.
Because the ‘how’ is the doing.
The ‘how’ is the action.
James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, recently tweeted,
“Leadership begins with your behavior. People gravitate toward the standard you set, not the standard you request.”.
Imagine a father teaching his son to value hard work.
Every evening, he lectures on the importance of diligence and effort. He tells son to do his homework, go to practice, work hard, and never give up. Yet, after work, he spends his evenings on the couch, scrolling aimlessly, complaining about his job.
The child doesn’t absorb the words.
The message is clear: Work is a chore, and avoidance is the norm. Is this what hard work looks like?
This example is so true and I’m sure you can think of dozens of scenarios just like this.
People gravitate toward the standard you set, not the standard you request.
Whether you're a parent, leader, coach, or partner, what you do carries more weight than what you will ever say.
Your behaviors, habits, and principles of action are the only signal others receive.
This brings me to another one of my all-time favorite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
“What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say."
Imagine another scenario—a coach who insists on punctuality but arrives late to every training session. The players quickly learn that punctuality is optional.
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Conversely, a coach who is the first to arrive and the last to leave communicates discipline without saying a word. The team follows suit, not out of obligation, but because they’ve seen the standard in action.
Words are fleeting; actions endure.
And it’s not just good enough to do it once, it has to be done consistently.
Consistency in behavior builds trust, respect, and influence.
It sets an unspoken expectation that becomes the foundation for others to emulate
This same thought has been carried all the way through ancient history, when Marcus Aurelius wrote in his Meditations,
“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”
This philosophy echoes the same truth: lead by example.
Whether good or bad, your actions are the model of your standard.
If you want others to exhibit integrity, you must live with integrity.
If you want your partner to feel supported, show up for them with patience and kindness.
Creating a standard isn’t about imposing expectations; it’s about embodying them.
People naturally align themselves with the example in front of them.
How to Set the Standard
By setting the standard through action, you eliminate the need to demand it, you become it.
Those around you will follow—not because they’re told to, but because they’re inspired to.
Own the process,
Tim
Author of Mastery Monday
Founder & Student of thepractitionersjournal.com
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