Step Into Who You Are Meant to Be

Today I'm going to talk about stepping into the woman you were meant to be. Maybe you already think you're there; maybe there's room for growing. 

If you've been following this series, I started off with how I've outgrown the old version of myself, then talked about killing off your alter ego like Eminem killed off Slim Shady. The last blog was about breaking free from the chains of your old self.

We've left the old behind, and now how do we step fully into who we were meant to be.

Then to give you a heads-up on the next blog, I'll be covering how you're not stuck—your mission just got bigger. If the next one is not out yet, mark it in your calendar, or if it's already out, go binge, listen, watch, or read it. I say it that way because if you're reading this blog, I also have this on my Diane Rolston YouTube channel and in my Dynamic Women Podcast. Consume it however you feel is best for you.

Let's dive in, my friend. 

When we think about killing off that alter ego, it's such a powerful act—an act of self-renewal, and self-empowerment. I don't use a lot of "woo-woo" words, but man, it's pretty freaking amazing because it allows you to step into your full potential, your true self, and live authentically, fully as you. 

We're going to ditch that old self, that alter ego, that out dated version of you—or maybe it was a little bit of a fake version of you that you used just to get by. But now we get to step into a more purposeful place. 

When you’re living more as who you are meant to be, you’re going to feel more in resonance; you're going to feel in flow, in energy. When you're not being your true self, you're going to be in dissonance—in friction, void of energy—and it's draining. Trying to solve problems from who you've been, and what you've known before, rather than who you're meant to be on a bigger scale is hard, or sometimes even impossible.

Let's figure out who you really are. 

That's the first stage now that you've left the old behind. Go through the previous blogs because I do speak more about how to do that. But now that you're in this space, really define who you are. 

• Are you a bit of a badass? 
• Are you more creative? 
• Are you super artistic? 
• Are you analytical? 
• Are you a researcher? 

What are you? By grabbing a bunch of these words, we're not looking to necessarily confine you with a definition, but more so to really express who you are in these words.

I'm going through a rebrand right now, which is really exciting. It’s just bringing out this next evolution of me. 

As I go through the ways to step into who you are meant to be, if you're like, "This is way too hard. I don't know how," please reach out--diane@dianerolston.com. I would be happy to talk about how we can take you through this process and really have you stand fully in your power of who you are.

Adopt new habits

One mistake that people make is to say, "This is who I am," but if you're not doing the actions that support who you say you are, then you're going to resort back to the old ways. 

How do we stay in the new version? Well, you need to adopt new habits. Ask yourself, "What does this new version of me do in the mornings and during the day? What decision would she make?" You really have to come at it from her perspective as this transition is happening.

If we even think of the difference between the caterpillar to the butterfly—the caterpillar knows it must walk around and eat the leaves, and the butterfly knows it can't go and just walk around. It needs to fly to get the nectar. 

Stop adopting behaviors, attitudes, and habits that align with your old self. Start adopting behaviors, attitudes, and habits that align with your new identity. Makes sense, right? That's the easiest way to have the “being” shift—by having the “doing” shift happen.

• This might include setting new boundaries with people, for example, "I'm not the person that deals with this anymore." 
• It might be engaging in some positive self-talk, affirmations, or journaling. 
• It might be taking on new challenges that push you towards growth. 

I know in the past, I have done an African drumming class. My next thing is going to be glassblowing. I also did some ax throwing in there. These kinds of life-giving, fun, wild, different activities really helped to push me out of my comfort zone. 

What are the habits of this new version? Does she still watch The Bachelor, or is she now spending time in personal development books? Make that type of decision. Look at your day-to-day. You could even track what you're doing every day, and then ask yourself with each task, "Is this really what the person I'm meant to be does? Is this their habit?" Yes or no. Obviously, if it's a no, you're going to move past that.

Make sure you surround yourself with support

The next thing is to make sure you surround yourself with support—not only to figure out who you are but support from people who will call you out. Engage with people who will support your growth and can help reinforce your new identity, not people who are going to be uncomfortable with this new confidence, jealous of your new success, or feeling insecure about themselves because you now have the right habits, are stepping into your full self, and maybe are not going to be a negative talker anymore—and that's what they're about.

You might have to distance yourself from these people—people who might try to pull you back into old patterns and habits. As we know if we look at addicts, obviously they can't be in the old environment with the same people, showing up at the same places, the same bars, and doing the same activities as their old version because it is not going to help them move forward. 

Where can you be? Where can you hang out? Who do you need to welcome into your life so that you can be surrounded by support—people who stretch you, like a coach, people who inspire you, maybe other women who are doing similar things to you or just doing their own cool things?

Set some new goals

Then you're going to need to set some new goals. You're feeling more like yourself, adopting the habits, getting the help of a coach or someone to help you identify who you are, and then reinforcing that new identity. 

Now it's time for some new goals because these goals will now be created from who you are now and who you're being—not necessarily the old self, right? The old goals aren't going to fit with you anymore. It might even just be a revamping or an up-leveling of these goals, but we want to make sure they are newly fitted. When you define who you want to be, you'll be able to better define what you want to achieve, and this helps create a clear vision for your future and for your future self.

That might be where you start: 

• Where do I want to be in a year as the person I'm meant to be? 
• Where do I want to be in five years? Ten years? 
• Where's my future self going to be?

Let's make it so much easier for the new version to step forward and to let go of that old version. If we're doing new things with new habits, new goals, and a new vision, there's going to be no place for the old version of you anymore.

Share your story and journey with others

Once you start getting the goals going, you've got your people around you, and you've got the habits that support all of this, start to share your story and your journey with others. 

What that's going to do is really solidify your transformation. That's part of why I'm sharing this. I'm also pretty much an open book. I know my community, my clients, my followers, appreciate when I pull back the curtain and share what's going on with me because maybe it's the same thing that's going on with you. 

Even if you think, "Diane's ahead of me in her changes,” or “Diane's similar to me,” or “I just haven't been through that before." You can learn from this as well. 

When you share with others, it's a way to make your new identity public—informing people and holding yourself accountable.

I remember seeing Chalene Johnson on Brendon Burchard's stage, she talked about success and business. My friend Michelle, who I was with, knew her from the fitness industry, but I didn't at all. She started sharing about business, so Michelle was very confused because her vision of this person was as a fitness guru making fitness DVDs, and now she’s talking about business? So what Chalene did was talk about this new place she was in, why she was now talking about business and what she was doing as this new version of herself. I encourage you to do the same.

Live authentically 

Let’s be real about this. We’re not going to let go of an old version or an alter ego or something that’s not in alignment and then come into something that’s also not in alignment. You’ll want to embrace your new self fully by living in alignment with who you are, what you do, what you stand for, and the person that you’ve become.

This isn’t just an ongoing commitment to keep the old alter ego, the old self from resurfacing, but committing to stay where you are. That might mean some days you’re like, “Oh, I feel like I’m slipping back. I feel like I’m not trusting myself as much. I don’t know what’s going on,” and then tapping back into the correct habits, the right boundaries, your support team and your coach—that is so crucial.

Eventually, by living authentically more often, it will become more of a lifestyle, a way of being, rather than something you have to really work at or get your full self into.

Continue evolving

The last thing I wanted to share is the importance of continuing to evolve. You’re not done yet, sister. You may be like, “Oh, darn it. I thought this is who I’m meant to be forever, and I’m done.” You’re not. We are continually evolving. 

Understand that personal growth is going to keep changing and growing, transitioning. Not just because we might have learned something new or got a new passion, but because life changes. Our stages of life—you might have gone from single to married, then married to a mother, and a young mother to a mother of school-age kids, kids that are out of school, empty nester, retired—right? 

There are so many different stages, and they’re not all fully related to marriage or having children. That’s just one lane. There are so many other changes that happen.

As you evolve, just continue to assess, Where am I at? How am I growing? Then you will ensure that you stay in alignment with your absolute true self.

Wrapping Up

What do you think? Are you ready to step into who you are meant to be? I encourage you to do so. If you want to have a conversation, let’s do that and see how I can support you. Email me at diane@dianerolston.com. 

I hope to see you over in the Dynamic Women Global Community, our Facebook Group. It is free to hang out there. I like to go live, share tips, tricks. It really is for all areas of life.

Until next time, stay dynamic. 

Read my other blogs:

1. The Simple Strategy That Gave Me Consistent Social Media Content

2. 6 Common Factors Causing You to Feel Like a Fraud

3. The Bad Side of Accountability - 5 Things to Avoid