Stop Chasing Success

“Life should be easy and fun, effortless, but we rarely let it be what it is."

WHY do I really want this?

Will it make me happy IN THE END?

Will it make me happy at all?

Is it worth sacrificing for, working hard for, is it worth my time and effort?

If the answer is yes… GREAT – that’s called purpose.

If the answer is NO… Drop the idea of success, and instead pursue what makes you happy.

The only real success.

Wishing you all the only true success: HAPPINESS.

“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it as a target the more you’ll miss it.” Viktor Frankl, 1946.

Good Reasons to Stop Chasing Success

When you really think about it, this mad dash for success has pushed us to work longer hours, sacrifice relationships, and endanger our health.

Is the trade-off worth it? Are we happier as a result?

Let’s look at some good reasons why we should STOP chasing success, and what to do instead.

1. It’s not your version of success you’re chasing.

Have you ever considered what success looks like to you?

Media plays a powerful role in defining what success looks like for most of us.

Social media is full of pictures of people traveling to exotic locations, staying in peculiar accommodation, and doing extreme things. Anything that screams, “I’m living my best life!”

Clearly, then, success means having a large house with a pool, expensive foreign cars, big muscles, tight clothes that barely cover the essentials, lots of alcohol, and regular trips to popular vacation spots, right?

Perhaps not.

Maybe it looks exactly like the picture painted above. But for many people, success looks vastly different.

Ask yourself what your idea of success is.

Maybe success to you means having more time with your family. Perhaps it means living on a farm where you grow your own food, far away from the city, noise, and filthy air. Success could even mean helping those who are less fortunate with your time or money.

Stop chasing the version of success you see all around you; the version you think you ought to be chasing because that’s what everyone else supposedly wants.

“Stop Chasing “Success” This Is the Only REAL SUCCESS”

2. It puts undue pressure on you.

The desire to taste success and be a success pushes us to pour more and more of ourselves into making certain things come true.

You must attain or achieve a certain thing or your life will be a failure. That’s the underlying message this era of success is communicating to us all.

The result is the stress, worry, anxiety, and self-worth issues that are rife in society today. We want to be successful so badly that we put some shiny end result up on an unreachable pedestal.

Of course, that’s not a healthy or realistic message. By positioning certain achievements or the accumulation of certain things as the sole means of living a worthwhile life, it puts a huge amount of pressure on us to meet those lofty expectations.

But what happens when they don’t? What are we likely to think and feel if the success we yearn for isn’t forthcoming? We’ll sink into depression and feel like we’re wasting our life. We’ll focus our entire minds on what we don’t have.

In short, the weight of success is often too heavy a burden to carry.

“Happiness must happen, and the same goes for success. Like happiness, it must ensue. You have to let it happen by not caring about it.” Victor Frankl, 1946

3. You’re mistaking success for happiness.

When you’re successful, you’ll be happy. You’ll have everything you need to be happy.

Once you hit whatever goal you’re pursuing, you can finally rest and be happy.

You hustle now so you can be happy later.

At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself.

“Keep your eyes on the prize” is the mantra you repeat to yourself daily, even though you’re not exactly happy now.

You equate success with happiness. You expect it to make you happy. And you struggle to feel happy as long as that success eludes you.

Stop chasing success because you want it to make you happy. It won’t.

4. You’re trying to prove something to someone.

Stop chasing success because of other people. They probably don’t care or can’t even remember what they said.

Maybe it’s your parents, your first boss, that teacher back in high school, or the significant other who dumped you because you were struggling.

Whoever it is must have hurt you pretty badly because you’ve spent most of your life chasing success just to prove them wrong.

You work harder than everyone else to show them they were wrong in their assessment of you five, ten, twenty years ago.

You amass status symbols as proof that you are more than what they said you were or would be.

Your health is suffering for it, your relationships are bearing the brunt of it, but at least they know they were wrong.

5. You’ve confused it with material possessions.

You’re pursuing success for the sole purpose of acquiring more material possessions.

Stop chasing the success that you equate with material possessions. These thing are fleeting. There will always be better models, new fashion trends, and fancier stuff.

Equating success with material possessions means there’s no end to the race. You’ll forever be in pursuit of something, striving for more. You’ll never feel able to rest and enjoy the things you already have.

6. You expect it to satisfy you.

Success is not enough. It’s never going to be enough to satisfy you. The real reason want to succeed so badly is because you want to use that success to replace what is missing inside you.

You want success to satisfy a deep emotional need you may not even realize you have. Rather than do the often painful introspective work required, you use success to fill the void inside.

Once you’re successful, you believe you will be satisfied.

Using success to satisfy a deeper need or longing is like using a band-aid to stop the blood gushing from an slashed artery. It’s nowhere near adequate.

Stop chasing success because you hope it can satisfy you. It can’t. Success can’t fill your void, it’s not strong enough to. There is just no shortcut to doing work on yourself, for yourself.

7. You’ve put life on pause until…

You’re so focused on achieving certain milestones, meeting goals, and becoming successful that you’ve failed to notice that life is passing you by.

You keep delaying your enjoyment of life and being truly present in the moment until you earn enough money, buy that house, finish your degree, get that promotion.

Like a cruel joke, almost before you scale whatever hurdle you’ve placed in front of you, another one magically appears in its place.

And the cycle continues.

“Life is happening all around, but you fail to notice because you’re so focused on the next feat you want to attain. Seasons are changing, but beyond the inconvenience it brings to your schedule, you hardly notice."

It’s not like you’re completely clueless about the devastation your razor-sharp focus is having on your life. You do feel guilty about not spending more time with your loved ones. You wish you had the time to do the things you’d really love to do.

8. You’re sacrificing your relationships for it.

Because of your relentless race for success, your relationships are suffering.

You defend your inattention by arguing that your pursuit of success will benefit them all in the long run. After all, that’s why you work so hard – to give them a nice house, fancy clothes, exotic vacations, etc. You want to provide them with all the things you never had growing up.

Stop chasing success to the detriment of your relationships. The simple truth is your loved ones don’t need all the extras. They just need you.

SIX THINGS TO DO INSTEAD  

So, instead of chasing success, what should you do? Be happy with the status quo? Make your peace with failing? Quit your job, sit at home, and let the bill collectors come? Not at all.

Rather than relentlessly pursuing success, do the following instead:

1. Define what a ‘good’ life looks like to you.

2. Focus on progress and growth, but also on contentment.

3. Choose happiness. 

4. Pursue significance.

5. Realize life won’t last forever.

6. Follow your own path.

I wish you the truest kind of success there is — fulfillment!