Stories We Tell

We are what we tell ourselves.

We tell ourselves we're too old - we feel too old, so we act too old. We notice all the things that make us feel old, we focus on being old. We focus on what we CAN'T have or do anymore. Who says? We do. We set the rules, we dictate what happens, what we can or can't do in life, according to our rules.

We tell ourselves we're not confident - we feel unconfident. We remember all the times we have not been confident at work and in life, they validate to us our story. We shy away from presenting at work. We 'live in fear' of being picked to present. We focus on not being picked, we focus really hard on NOT being picked. We get picked... because all our energy and attention is going towards it - we have to imagine being picked in order to not be picked - still following? Great.

We tell ourselves we are limited in what we can do. We self impose the limits based on fear stories. We are not skilled enough, clever enough, creative enough. Not enough. We look for all the evidence to back up that we are not enough, we find it of course because we have spent all our energy focusing on it.

We get what we tell ourselves. We put an awful lot of attention into creating what we DON'T want.

We create our reality. We create our lives. We create what we get.

Our behaviour (based on the stories we tell ourselves) clearly informs others how they should treat us. We act as 'not enough' so people see and feel that sense of uncertainty and treat us as such. It confirms back to us, validates what we are 'looking' for - that we are not enough. Not confident enough, not assertive, not creative enough. We add it to our story, we strengthen the narrative, it becomes an even deeper part of us, ingrained.

Can you see how we are creating this? Can you see how life is by our design? It is NOT happening to us? We are not passive, looking in, blaming circumstances and others, we can create massive change simply by shifting our perspective and our stories.

So why do so many of us choose not to? Why do we cling on to old stories? Well, we may not be aware that we are running these stories OR prepared to accept that we are the problem... our stories are the problem. Mostly we cling on to the stories because they give us some benefit. They are created by our mind to keep us 'safe', away from fear, exposure or perceived danger. They are a big part of our conditioning, passed on from adults and peers who also want to keep us safe (or small) AND aren't aware of their conditioning picked up from their significant adults and peers... and so it goes on unless we consciously choose to change.

And this is the secret to completely changing your life - change what you tell yourself!

The trouble is, conditioning runs deep, we want to hold on, we don't BELIEVE we can change. Well you can - for sure, if you want to. I help brilliant women who are underselling themselves to shape a clear career direction for themselves in just 90 days. We work on reframing stories, overcoming personal resistance (you might want change but you are resisting internally) and we focus on your strengths, not weaknesses. Your weaknesses are someone else's strengths to focus on.

Contact me to arrange a free consultation, your freedom awaits.