The story behind ParentCare

Hi, I am Bharat, an NRI living in London.

Whilst I live and work in Canary Wharf, London, my ageing parents are back in Mumbai. Every day at 7 a.m., I call my father to check if things are well. I often message my old friends and relatives just to confirm they still live in Mumbai to help if anything happens to my family. Does this sound familiar to you?

Having lived on another continent for the past five years, I have practically turned into a long-distance caregiver. Instead of having deep, meaningful conversations with my loved ones, I call to check on their blood pressure or recent test results. With no possibility of a proper holiday, I use my days off to visit them or make arrangements, speaking to home attendants, hospitals, domestic helpers and charities from the other side of the world.

How did it all start? The call I will always remember

When my mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2017, I knew I could not travel to India to be there with her throughout this turbulent journey. I received the call in September 2017 when we were preparing to welcome our little one into the world. It was important that I travel to India to support my parents but I also could not leave my wife alone in London, especially when we were expecting our first baby in the next few weeks. How I wished I could have been at both the places at the same time!

The following months were filled with doctor appointments (which my mother needed to get to and from), endless diagnostic tests (of which I couldn’t receive results), conventional and holistic treatment. I felt like I was never fully aware of what was happening and could not contribute as much as I wanted to.

It was exhausting for my father, too — the entire journey from identifying the right doctor to home care whilst also trying to manage his home and work life drained my parents. Most importantly, it took away their opportunity to spend time with each other. What my mother needed was not only the right medical treatment but also the time and emotional support from her loved ones.

When she finally started feeling better, we realised we had not spoken as a family should, in a long time. Most of the conversations over the 18 months of treatment had centered around managing the medical processes. This was a frustrating time because although we spoke everyday, we missed out on connecting with each other on a deeper level.

Behind the scenes: what NRIs have to do every single day

My story might resonate with some of you out there. Although your experience might be different from the cancer journey my family had to deal with, we are still bonded by the struggle that is remote caregiving.

Aside from medical conditions, our parents are not getting any younger. There may come a time where they will need help with their daily routines.

• Ongoing healthcare needs
• Healthy lifestyle, exercising, operating medical equipment, managing and giving pills or injections.
• Household tasks
• Help with bills, insurance claims, money management, home maintenance, laundry, cooking, shopping or transportation.
• Self-care and mobility
• Bathing, grooming, feeding, toileting, dressing…
• Socialisation
• Companionship, leisure activities, and even resolving family conflicts.

I’ve spoken to hundreds of NRIs in the past year, and a large majority of them mentioned they would seek help from other relatives and old friends. Quickly it became clear that this was not a long term solution as family and friends could not provide the desired level of care and support that is needed.

For long-term support, NRIs may try and book professional help such as a regular home care attendant or nurse. This is not as easy as it sounds — here are all the things required from a long-distance caregiver:

• Seek information from different medical service providers
• Communicate with doctors, nurses, pharmacists, and other health care providers
• Locate, arrange, and supervise nurses, social workers, home care aides, home-delivered meals, etc.
• Facilitate provider understanding
• Facilitate person and family understanding
• Make appointments
• Order prescription medicines
• Deal with payments and insurance

Sounds like a full-time job, doesn’t it?

NRIs often experience guilt, and then anger — asking themselves questions such as “why me?”. Over time, a growing list of tasks can cause a strain on your relationship with your loved ones, while also impacting your home life. For me, the last five years have been spent trying to balance all of this.

So, no one can support NRIs? What about technology?

When my mother was ill, I tried a couple of online platforms that claim to support NRIs in long-distance caregiving. I expected these tools to help me with medical and home care arrangements and give me a chance to focus on emotional support.

However, none of the existing platforms could cover all the requirements. I had to jump from one platform to the other to sort out appointments, accompany my parents to tests, book cabs, choose insurance or store the latest medical reports online. The constant coordination ate up a lot of my time which could have been better spent with my mother.

Another challenging task was getting different service providers to talk to each other. I found the entire system to be quite untransparent in terms of the service provider and costs.

That was the starting point of ParentCare, a concierge service that helps with every little thing on the caregivers’ list. At the heart of it is my genuine drive to make long-distance support less stressful.

It’s time to look at the bright side

Yes, long-distance caregiving is not simple. But we have all made a choice to build a life on another continent, and we all want the best for our families. As an NRI and an experienced startup founder, I have set a goal to resolve the practical hurdles of long-distance support and help all members of the global Indian diaspora including myself.

With the help of two UK-based companies, Deepbridge Capital (VC) and Nova (co-foundery), I am building ParentCare — first as a concierge service, then turning into a comprehensive online tool.

It is set to be a one-stop platform for expats to identify, compare and book a range of services for their parents in India. The ParentCare on-the-ground team would ensure smooth delivery of these services and cover for the gaps in the Indian healthcare industry, as per individual requirements. We are starting in Mumbai with plans to cover all Indian major cities in the next 3–4 years.

From my personal standpoint, the success for ParentCare will be achieving stress-free long-distance caregiving for NRIs without compromising on family time.

What would you expect from a platform like this?

What are the hurdles you had to face when taking care of your loved ones?

Do feel free to share your experience [good and bad] on long-distance caregiving and how it can be improved. Please share your thoughts with me. Every fact and opinion can make a big difference.