Straight shooter or sugar coating it: how to give clear feedback

Understanding the balance between sugar coating, blunt assessment and providing specifics is the key to productive feedback in the workplace, experts have claimed.

Anna-Maria Arabia, the chief executive of the Australian Academy of Science, believes managers should adopt a solutions-focused approach to employee feedback rather than a “rap over the knuckles”.

“There’s a real balance between sugar coating it and being so blunt [that] it’s ineffective,” Arabia said during a panel discussion at the 2023 Future Women Leadership Summit in Sydney.

“A face-to-face meeting is usually useful where there is some preparation by the person providing the feedback. In a hybrid environment it shouldn’t be a quick flick of an email to let someone know that they’re not doing something right. Arrange to meet with them via video conference and have a discussion.

She said it’s also important to give the individual at the centre of the feedback time to respond.

“That response might not come immediately. It’s perfectly okay to say, ‘Do you want to think about that and we can reconvene tomorrow or next week?’” she said. 

“If you’re the person receiving the feedback it’s totally okay to say, ‘Do you mind if I just absorb that, think about it and come back to you with ways we might work on this together?’”

She said a good manager will want to see their employee succeed.

“When you’re having the conversation, [employees] want to know three things: that you’ve got their back, that you believe in them and that you’re going to find a way to bounce forward together.”

Fellow panelist Niti Nadarajah, coach and diversity, equity, and inclusion consultant with Coaching by Niti, said the key to clear feedback is providing examples.

“Really concrete examples with specifics that you can point to,” Nadarajah said.

She referenced the book Nonviolent Communication, which covers communicating through observation, feeling, a need, and a request.

She highlighted the observation element.

“What is the observation? What have I seen you do? What have I noticed? Because when you just say to someone, ‘You’re not confident’, that doesn’t mean anything,” she said.

“Often women hear that there’s a perception that you’re not committed to your job. Particularly women who’ve had kids or who are working flexibly because they have carer responsibilities. [They] often face this when they’re working flexibly. So, again, it’s what sits behind that.

“What leads this person to perceive that this person isn’t as committed to their work.”

Nadarajah also addressed the concept of owning the feedback.

“That’s another thing we don’t do well. We take feedback from other people – ‘this person said this and so it must be true’ – and then we just relay it. The problem with that is we don’t have the evidence,” she said. 

“And we don’t own it. So we might give the feedback, it’s wishy-washy and it’s a bit weak in the way we deliver it because we don’t know if we believe it. But we’ve got to deliver it. So it’s really about having those observable things that you can point to in those situations.”

Edweena Stratton, chief people officer at Culture Amp, offered the contrasting viewpoint that if you’re a straight shooter in the workplace it does not give you a licence to be a jerk.

“You still have to do it with care and good intent,” Stratton said.

“I think a lot of leaders surround themselves with people who perhaps tell them what they want to hear and I think there are very few people who feel comfortable and confident in being able to talk straight to leaders.”

She also shared that managers need to take into consideration the life circumstances of their employees when delivering job performance feedback.

“I think you have to take into consideration the context, so build relationships, and sometimes maybe it’s not the moment to give the feedback,” she said.

“If someone is going through a tough time, or suffering from trauma, you’ve got to pick your timing. I also find it’s helpful to share some of my own experiences.”

Stratton said sharing experiences can help normalise situations and ultimately an employee wants to feel they have a place in the team. 

“I think when you’re having the conversation – there’s a model that someone shared with me a little while ago – when you’re in that moment, they [employees] want to know three things: that you’ve got their back, that you believe in them and that you’re going to find a way to bounce forward together.”

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