Strategic Ways to Control Your Anger
Patricia K. Flanigan, Ed.D.
Smart Strategies for Successful Living: Your Online Resource for a Happier and Healthier Lifestyle
Anger is a powerful emotion that we have all experienced at one point or another. It can be triggered by various things including an argument with a loved one, a frustrating work situation, or even just waking up on the wrong side of the bed. While it’s normal to feel angry every now and then, it’s important to understand what anger is, why we experience it, and the effects it can have on our lives.
What does it mean to feel anger?
Anger is an emotion that is characterized by feelings of hostility, frustration, and annoyance. It is a biological response to a perceived threat or injustice that triggers a chain reaction of physiological and psychological responses. These responses can include an increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and the release of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. Anger can be expressed in various ways, including verbal outbursts, physical aggression, or passive-aggressive behavior.
What is the catalyst for anger?
We feel anger when we perceive something as a threat to our physical or emotional well-being. This may include feeling disrespected, disregarded, or being treated unfairly. Anger can also be a reaction to events that challenge our beliefs or expectations. For example, if we expect something to go a certain way and it doesn’t, we may experience anger. Social and cultural conditioning can also contribute to the way we experience and express anger.
How does anger affect our wellbeing?
Anger can have a myriad of negative effects on our lives. It can damage relationships, impact our work performance, and even affect our physical health. Prolonged anger can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and depression, which can compromise our mental and physical well-being. Additionally, chronic anger can also contribute to the development of cardiovascular disease and other chronic health conditions.
Proactive Ways to Control Your Anger
To better manage your anger, delve into what you can do with the support of these essential strategies.
Acknowledge your anger.
Ignoring or suppressing your anger only leads to more harm. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and express them in a constructive manner. Letting yourself and others know that you're upset can validate your emotions and pave the way for resolution.
Understand your triggers.
An essential step in learning to control your anger is to identify what triggers it. Is it a frustrating situation? Or is it someone who pushes your buttons? Analyzing the root of your anger can help you to understand yourself better and develop effective strategies to manage your anger. You can try writing down the scenarios that provoke your anger and the responses that follow, to help you see patterns and identify solutions.
Channel your energy.
When you feel your anger building up, one way to control it is by practicing relaxation techniques. Deep breathing, meditation, Yoga or listening to calming music are great ways to cool off and calm your mind. These techniques can help you to step back from the situation and take a pause before reacting in anger. You can also count to ten before responding, to give yourself a moment to collect your thoughts and respond in a more thoughtful way.
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Gain perspective.
When anger lingers, it's important to shift your focus to the bigger picture. Practicing gratitude meditation and empathizing with those who may have wronged you can minimize anger's impact. By recognizing what you have to be grateful for and understanding the challenges others may face, you can neutralize your anger.
Choose your words wisely.
One of the main reasons why anger escalates is due to communication breakdown. It is essential to communicate effectively and assertively, to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. Instead of suppressing your anger or lashing out, try to express your feelings in a clear and concise way, using "I" statements. For example, instead of saying "you made me angry when you..." say "I felt upset when I heard that you..." By doing so, you can communicate your feelings while taking ownership of them.
Take control of toxic situations.
If you find yourself in a toxic relationship or facing repeated aggression, it's time to act. Develop a proactive plan to improve the situation, setting methodical goals and determining the steps needed to achieve them. This sense of control will reduce stress and bring you peace.
Anger is something that can be managed with practice and effort. If your goal is to live a happier, healthier life, take control of your anger before your anger takes control of you.
**Article Originally Published at: CLICK HERE.
Written by: Patricia K. Flanigan, Smart Strategies for Successful Living
Patricia K. Flanigan has worked in higher education for over 28 years. She holds a doctoral degree in Organizational Leadership from the University of La Verne as well as a M.A. in Latin American Studies and B.A. in Anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles. Before retiring and moving to Idaho in 2015, she served as the dean of online education and learning resources at Saddleback College, a large community college in Southern California. She currently consults in higher education, writes for local magazines, and serves as an Affiliate Faculty member at Boise State University. She works in collaboration with LEARN (Lifelong Education and Aging Resource Network). Since February 2017, she has been the founding director and an author for Smart Strategies for Successful Living, a community-based website designed to promote quality aging. As an educator, her focus is to inspire others to live and age well.
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1yThank you for sharing ..,👍 We must learn to control anger smartly.Relaxation. Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. ...