Strategies for self-awareness

Welcome back to the Amplify Emotional Intelligence newsletter. Twice a month, I’ll share advice and inspiration to help you develop emotionally intelligent leaders and transform your company culture. Together, we can #amplifyei and create more belonging.

Three methods for increasing self-awareness

Self-awareness is the nucleus of emotional intelligence. It bolsters your ability to understand and express yourself productively, and influences everything from collaboration and relationships to personal growth and success.

Strong self-awareness means knowing yourself and how others perceive you. It is a recognition of your emotions, strengths, and weaknesses, and an understanding of how these things affect others. When we operate with self-awareness, we bring agency to our present moment actions, decisions, and behaviors. 

The tricky thing about self-awareness is that those who are not self-aware may lack the perspective to recognize that. One five-year research project found that although 95% of people consider themselves to be self-aware, only 10 to 15% really are. A lack of self-awareness can significantly reduce a team’s success rate, and will increase stress while reducing motivation, according to the research. 

So how do you begin to truly comprehend yourself? In my work as an executive coach, I help individuals, teams, and organizations grow into more effective leaders with my  7 Keys to Emotional Intelligence™. Self-awareness is a foundational part of that journey, and I've identified three microshifts that will help you strengthen yours.

Actions to boost self-awareness 

There are two types of self-awareness: internal and external. Internal self-awareness is knowing your values, strengths, and weaknesses. External self-awareness is understanding how other people see you. There are ways to increase self-awareness, and all of them are well worth your time. Remember, self-awareness affects everything from team success to personal happiness. It helps us identify and own the things in our life that we have control over, so we can better create the life that we want.

Ready to improve your ability to comprehend yourself internally and externally? Here are my go-to coaching tools to improve self-awareness.

Get centered and be curious

Mindfulness meditation is meant to bring your attention to the present so you can view your current thoughts, feelings, and emotions without judgment. By building a habit of mindfulness check-ins, you can develop your self-awareness and get a clearer read on who you are and how you’re being perceived. Be curious—not judgmental—as you observe the situation.

Once you’re feeling grounded and centered, get curious about others, too. What is their experience of you? As you contemplate this question, be sure to acknowledge the potential presence of your unconscious biases. Sometimes we operate on assumptions rather than facts. External self-awareness requires us to sort fact from fiction. Be open to both learning and unlearning information that may clarify the facts. 

Journal and reflect

Journaling is a simple and effective way to check in with your thoughts, emotions, and values. I encourage my clients to use it for many different reasons. Whether you write in a notebook or record a voice memo, creating a safe, private space to reflect is a great tool for growth. When journaling for greater self-awareness, reflect on the following questions:

• How well do I understand my values and motivators? 
• Do I know what I’m striving for? 
• Do I pay attention to how I react to certain situations, certain people? 
• How closely do I look at my impact on others? 

Get trusted feedback

We all have oversights, and sometimes getting feedback from another person is the only way to overcome them. And not just any other person, but a diverse range of people including those who are different from you.

For this, I use a tool I like to call the Quick and Dirty 360. Total self-awareness requires a 360-degree view of yourself. You need to gather your own perspective and other peoples’ perspectives, then compare those. To do this, I have my clients think of three adjectives to describe themselves, then ask others to give three adjectives that they would use to describe them. Comparing the two lists can be eye-opening for both internal and external self-awareness.

The exercise is straightforward—and you can download a worksheet that will walk you through it for free from my website. 

Truly comprehending yourself takes work. But with benefits like better relationships, more confidence, improved communication, and greater leadership skills, it’s worth the effort. And research indicates that greater self-awareness is linked to greater empathy. As you and your teammates build your ability to comprehend yourselves, you’ll see these benefits both professionally and personally. 

As a board-certified leadership coach, keynote speaker, and facilitator, for over twenty years, Patrice B. Borders has combined her employment law and human capital practices to help organizations and individuals develop resonant leaders, collaborative teams, and inclusive workplace cultures. Continue the conversation at amplifyei.com and stay connected by following #amplifyei .