The Strength to Feel: Redefining Masculinity for the Modern Man

“Pull yourself together, Barry. This is embarrassing, mate…”

Not long ago, that’s exactly what I’d have thought watching two men cry on national TV. But seeing Barry McGuigan break down in grief over the loss of his daughter, and Danny Jones openly share his struggles with anxiety, was extraordinary.

Their vulnerability struck a nerve and not just with me. So many of you responded to my recent post that it went micro-viral and it got us talking about something men are often told to suppress: emotions.

This conversation isn’t just about crying; it’s about rewriting the rules of masculinity. It’s about Positive Masculinity - a new way for men to thrive by embracing their humanity and their emotions.

Why Crying is Good for You

Crying is often labelled as weakness, but science tells us otherwise. Crying is a powerful form of emotional release that helps our body reset.

When we cry, we release stress hormones like cortisol, which can reduce tension and restore emotional balance. Research from the University of South Florida highlights how crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system, leaving us calmer and more grounded. Similarly, studies from the American Psychological Association show that suppressing emotions can lead to chronic stress, depression, and even physical health problems like heart disease.

By allowing ourselves to cry, we process grief, frustration, and anxiety, preventing those emotions from turning into long-term damage. This isn’t about being “soft”, it’s about being strong enough to let go of what weighs us down.

The Power of Emotional Intelligence

At the core of Positive Masculinity is emotional intelligence, the ability to understand, manage, and express emotions effectively while empathising with others. Men with high emotional intelligence don’t suppress their feelings; they channel them constructively, creating stronger relationships and authentic connections.

Why is this so important? Because emotional intelligence directly impacts how we show up as partners, fathers, leaders, and friends:

• In Relationships: It strengthens trust and communication, creating deeper bonds.
• At Work: It makes us more adaptable, empathetic, and effective leaders.
• As Parents: It helps us model healthy emotional expression for our children.

Imagine the impact of men leading with emotional intelligence. Picture fathers showing their sons that it’s okay to cry. Leaders admitting when they’re struggling, inspiring others to do the same. Communities where vulnerability is met with empathy, not shame.

This is Positive Masculinity in action.

Why It’s Time to Change

For decades, men have been told to “man up,” to bury their feelings, to see vulnerability as weakness. But the cost of this emotional suppression is immense, damaging relationships, mental health, and even physical well-being.

The responses to Barry and Danny’s vulnerability showed us what’s possible when we flip the script. Men across generations resonated with their stories, recognising themselves in the moments of grief, anxiety, and quiet battles fought alone.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

How to Create Safe Spaces for Emotions

• Model Vulnerability: Show younger generations that emotions aren’t a weakness but a natural, human experience.
• Build Supportive Environments: Whether at home, work, or among friends, create spaces where men feel safe to share what’s on their minds.
• Respond with Empathy: When someone opens up, respond with understanding, not judgment.

These small shifts create a ripple effect, changing how men feel about themselves, how they connect with others, and how they show up in the world.

Take Action

This isn’t just about crying; it’s about breaking free from outdated cultural scripts. Men are ready for a new way of living, one that embraces authenticity, emotional health, and real connection.

If you’re ready to take that step, my Become Extraordinary coaching programme can help. This is your opportunity to rewrite your story, build emotional resilience, mental strength, and create a life that feels right and is aligned with who you truly are.

I have one spot left, and prices rise in January. DM me today and let’s see if you’re a good fit.

Let’s build a new narrative for men, one where strength includes feeling, connection, and courage. Who’s with me?