The Struggle is real: ["Family", "Job", "Passion", "Goals", "Mentoring"...]

"Life is just like an array, items keep getting added, and we have to handle them well" - This is where the struggle begins!

"Family"

People born below the poverty level or in the lower middle class know what it's like to live under a roof where water leaks every rainy day or when the slightest storm blows away the roof and they are forced to sleep the entire night in a water-soaked bed/floor just like a stray cat! or sometimes they are unable to eat the morning/night meal and merely arrange their afternoon meal, or sometimes they have no food at all!! or not able to pay school fees or rich relatives never come home and say often "know your limit and don't dream high"

Children growing up understanding such situations have only one wish, to somehow help their family escape poverty so that future generations will not be subjected to the same pain/misery/humiliations!

The ones who dare to dream are the ones who laugh at the end!

I was finally able to pull my family out of poverty, given the wealthy lifestyle that I always dreamed of.

One incident I can't forget:

I was not allowed to sit in the car of wealthy relatives. One relative threw me out of the car, because I sat inside their car, despite me being merely a teenager at the time (some memories are not erasable)

I said to that relative that one day I will have my own car, and I did it a few years back, purchased a car for my family. Took me a lot of time, and struggle but I am laughing in that picture.

Now that I am a father myself, I have secured the next generation, that they won't have to suffer the same fate as I did!

Being a father has not been easy, it is not easy now, and I know it will not be easy in the future, it will be a struggle of another level! but it will also be the happiness of another level!

If you are planning to have a child, consider these points first:

1. Enough Savings: While doing child planning, consider the fact that medical expenses are high today, especially hospitalizations and operations costs, so ensure you have enough savings.
2. Enough Time: When taking yourself or your spouse to the doctor, you will undoubtedly spend some time traveling and waiting; make sure to communicate this to the client/employer, and don't give them the chance to complain.
3. Enough Patience and Mindset: A cool state of mind and patience are probably two of the most important traits to possess during that time. The moment you lose either, disaster occurs!
4. Prepare for sleepless nights: I never thought about this factor before becoming a parent but it has impacted my planning and schedule the most. As my wife was in her final days of pregnancy, I had to stay up late at night to take special care, after my daughter was born and brought home, there are many such instances when she sleeps very late at night e.g. 2 - 4 AM or doesn't sleep till 5 - 6 AM and I still face this even after my child is now six months old. The lack of sleep impacts my work, as well as other planning, especially in content creation.

Further to the above points, those with paternity leave are relatively well off, however, as an individual contractor, I did not have the option, still got a few days off, and then had to struggle for months!

"Job"

When I was studying B.Com (H), it was impossible for my daily wage parents to continue to pay graduation costs, I was thinking of a job in share marketing, therefore, I joined share marketing, acquired certification in Cash and Derivative, and worked in a share broker firm for a few months.

But less focus on education, absence from college every day, and degrading marks, made me realize the priority, and by that time I had enough money to pay for my education for another year, so I had left the share marketing job, then after 6 months when again grades going up, I had decided to join night call center.

After college hours, I used to go to a restaurant in Kolkata Ahiritola bus stand, named "Mosko", with only 50 rupees, I got a large paratha and some Potato sabzi, more than enough to last the night.

Usually, I left the call center at 2-3 AM, if I had the energy I walked home to save money (so that I could have better tiffin the next day), if not, then I asked for a cab in which case 90% time I had never allotted, I used to stay in a friend's (named Raja Biswas) house in Ahiritila in Kolkata, he and his family were kind enough to allow me in their house, even it's night 2/3/4/5 AM.

After B.Com (H) graduation and looking at career options and interests, I decided to do MCA in distance mode and do a job in any tech firm.

Well, no tech company has shown interest in hiring a B.Com (H) grad for tech positions, not even as a free resource. After giving 100+ interviews, I took a pause in interviews for the next 1 year. In between, I worked on a freelance basis and did small bug fix tasks, blog writing, WordPress content writing, learning well PHP, JavaScript, HTML, CSS, etc.

As soon as I felt confident enough, I went for as many interviews as possible each week, I actually lost count, A company finally hired me as Jr PHP Developer for Rs 1000/month, and after 3 months it become Rs 6000/Month.

I was used to leaving the house at 6 AM and reaching the office at 9 AM just like many others but due to various reasons and own growth, I left the company and joined another company, for Rs 12,000, worked hard, traveling time become 1 hour extra, so had to leave for office, at 5 AM, that time even ferry didn't start, so I usually wait at ferry ghat for 15 mins and have some tiffin there from a local vendor, then at 5:30 AM catch the first launch and catch a bus and reached bus stop near the office, walk for 30 mins to reach the office.

I wasn't able to bring any tiffin most of the time due to an early start, so I either took food from colleges (Those meals were awesome!) or from a nearby food stall for office staff (NO COMMENTS)

Spent good enough 10 months there as a PHP developer, then join another company, my salary was Rs 24,000, but behind the scene, while working for the last company I learned how to handle and communicate with clients across the world, so I had my own clients from where I was making Rs. 40,000 a month, due to various reasons I left the company, especially for my own growth, and stopped working for local companies, fully focused on working for international clients as JavaScript / Nodejs API Developer, income kept doubling each year, never ever had to look back, all I had to do is "SKILL UP", deliver projects and commitments on time! Sounds simple right! but it wasn't, there "n" number of trial and errors, sleepless nights, and failures involved, all that helped me to become who I am today.

From that day to till today, I have learned as many interesting technologies as possible, of which JavaScript (Nodejs), Python, Golang, Web Development, Cloud/AWS, Solution Architecture Designing, and most importantly DevOps (e.g. Linux / Shell Scripting, Jenkins, Terraform, Ansible, Docker, Kubernetes etc) turn out to bring most rewarding opportunities!

"Passion"

I did have some limited passions, mainly Photography, Writing (Blogs Posts / Articles), and later developed Video Content making as a passion.

Believe me, nothing was easy, and nor ever it will automatically become easy till you practice, and keep doing it! be it photography, writing, or content making!

• I have written so many unpublished drafts to make one completely published article
• Took me so many hours, trial and error, and effort to understand complicated camera functions and light set-up
• The first video I made was after the 69th try (my younger brother holding the camera till I complete the shot)

As I said, the struggle was everywhere and in everything, but turn out to be I can write excellent documents and would be loved by thousands of people. People will find encouragement in my posts/articles, so many students and professionals will learn from my video content and get excellent opportunities in their careers. All these struggles bring me the sweetest fruit of life, "Happiness".

"Goals"

Having goals in life is an important thing, most fascinating fact about having goals is, it's very personal to you, "it's your own goals", frame it yourself, and based on your speed you achieve it. It's absolutely fine to have no goals sometime, but eventually struggling through life, you will ultimately find your own. I had so many goals in life:

• Fund my own education and complete necessary education ASAP
• Bring my family out of poverty
• Have enough savings
• Have our own house, car, etc
• Have very own family (loving wife and a cute child )
• Move to bigger Bungalow / Villa
• Get into great companies, learn new skills, grow more
• Help Students / Professionals as many as possible in limited time and availability
• Become a great content creator
• Do work in Foreign companies and travel the world, know about people across different cultures

and so...

Achieved many, still in progress in achieving a few more...

Another fun fact of having goals is, that you have to struggle and grind in order to achieve the goals, also goals are pretty dynamic, so they keep changing often and we tend to set higher goals in life!

"Mentoring"

A what's app message, "Sir, I need your immediate help, had to submit tomorrow, critical for my job", it is when I am busy in a critical team meeting, and my child sitting in my lap and doing "sussu / potti" , that's the situations I am in this days, I don't move much till the team meeting end, then ask my wife (who usually busy in making breakfast/lunch) to hold the child and clean her up, then I do change, reply in WhatsApp, share a meeting link in Zoom, asked him/her to join the meeting, solve the issue in 5-10-15 mins, then end the meeting, asked my wife to lay down the child in the sofa-cum-bed, I start working keeping an eye on my child.

Last year I mentored 100+ professionals, and glad to hear occasionally they are now happy and doing very well. I would love to mentor this year as many as possible professionals/ students, but circumstances are different this year, and I am focusing on my own goals, which makes my mentoring capacity limited.

Conclusion:

The struggle is real and challenges are everywhere no matter what we do! still, the best option is to keep fighting towards the goals while keeping the family happy, maintaining our own growth, following our own passion, and helping as many as possible.