Struggling with self-discipline? It might be self-acceptance you need.

I think we often associate self-discipline with unwavering willpower.

We look at people who get their 8 hours of sleep every night, who eat chicken and avocado for breakfast, who work out every day, who wake up at 5am and switch off from work at 6pm, who keep a tidy house, who meditate, who have a skincare routine, a hobby...

and we think...

what willpower and self-control. 

What if it’s actually that they’ve found an emotionally healthy way to consistently engage in certain habits?

If something feels good, we’re more likely to do it.

These people have found a way to work with their emotions rather than against them.

Often we fall into shaming ourselves to do things. We think we ‘should’ go for a run because we’re putting on weight, or that we ‘should’ meditate because it’s what good, well-balanced people do.

It’s not that self-disciplined people have an endless supply of willpower; it’s that they tend to be more self-accepting. They’re not using punishment, self-judgment or criticism to drive their behaviour; instead, they’ve found a way to enjoy feeling the rewards of it. They go for a run because they’ve noticed it clears their head; or they meditate because it calms them down and makes them more productive.

Trying to change our behaviours through shame and self-criticism will never work.

When we stop feeling awful about ourselves, we want to start taking care of ourselves. 

And whilst that may look like self-discipline on the outside, it’s actually a lot of self-acceptance on the inside.

It’s the self-acceptance we need, not the discipline. 

What habits do you want to create?

Where do you need to be more accepting?

If you’d like an accountability partner to help you stick to your habits, or create new ones, or if you'd like to become less self-critical, please message me here or email me at katie_denyer@outlook.com and let’s see how I can help.