Superficial relationships, a staple of modern networking

Ever felt like your professional network is nothing more than a surface-level handshake and a LinkedIn request? Did you come to realize this after you tried to reach out to someone to use "that networking power" or before? Don’t worry—you’re not alone.

The truth is superficial connections have become a staple of modern networking. But here’s the catch—they’re not inherently bad. If used strategically, these transactional relationships can be invaluable. However, the risk lies in relying on them exclusively and missing out on the depth and trust that come with building meaningful professional bonds.

A superficial network is a web of relationships grounded in mutual benefit. Participants are linked because they derive something from each other, such as through business partnerships or professional connections. These relationships are often fleeting, enduring only as long as the benefit persists. Therefore, before reaching out to a former colleague during your job search, consider this simple question: what is your exchange utility?

Let's explore how to strike the balance that will take your network—and career—to the next level.

The Role of Superficial Connections in Professional Networking

These relationships are inherently transactional and typically brief, fading away as soon as the prospect for professional benefit disappears.

These connections are not about emotional support or camaraderie. Instead, they resemble a value-driven agreement—"I help you, and in turn, you help me" with distinct features outlined below.

1. Purpose-Driven: These relationships are formed with clear objectives in mind, such as securing a job, closing a business deal, or gaining industry insights. The focus is on achieving tangible results, and both parties are usually aware of the transactional nature of the relationship. Focus driven networking can quickly become a catastrophic catch 22 case of the obvious "focusing on finding the “most important person” in the room. In her article "The Biggest Networking Mistake: Looking for the "Most Important Person" in the Room" Rachida Benamar skillfully describes the kind of behaviors that would mark you as opportunistic and let you miss out of the real value and worth of networking.

1. Limited Interaction: Communication in superficial connections tends to be infrequent and occurs mainly when there is a specific need or opportunity. This sporadic interaction is often efficient and to the point, focusing on the task at hand rather than personal matters. Check Ernest Price article on staying on point and the reasons why it is important. Most importantly his article on "Networking: How to Get it Right!" promotes the value of human interactions.
2. Professional Focus: Conversations within these relationships are typically centered around business-related topics. There is little to no discussion of personal lives or interests, as the primary aim is to maintain a professional boundary and achieve the desired outcome. Price goes on to say that you need to know when to "abandon the ship of professional conversation" if it is headed nowhere.
3. Effectiveness: Despite their lack of depth, superficial connections can be highly effective. They allow individuals to quickly access resources, information, or opportunities that might not be available through deeper, more personal relationships. When managed well, these connections can lead to successful collaborations and professional advancements. Meagan Paterson provides interesting insight into networking within companies if you are employed and how to do it right.
4. Strategic Leveraging: To make the most of superficial connections, it's important to approach them strategically. This involves being clear about your goals, maintaining professionalism, and ensuring that interactions are mutually beneficial. By doing so, you can maximize the potential of these relationships without overstepping boundaries.

The Benefits

1. Access to Opportunities

Superficial connections provide a gateway to career growth. Whether it’s an introduction to an industry leader or an inside tip on a job opening, these connections can unlock opportunities that may otherwise remain out of reach.

1. Knowledge Amplification

The rapid exchange of industry insights, market trends, and best practices is another strength of surface relationships. They connect you to a wider pool of knowledge that can be instrumental in staying competitive.

1. Network Expansion

Every superficial connection has the potential to introduce you to even more people, growing your network exponentially and increasing your chances of serendipitous opportunities.

The Challenges

However, relying on surface-level relationships has its limits. These connections lack trust, loyalty, and genuine emotional support—qualities that make relationships sustainable and fulfilling over the long term.

Without care, an exclusively transactional network can collapse the moment you have nothing new to offer—or need more than just a quick favor.

Building a Balanced Network

A strong professional network isn’t just about quantity; it’s about quality. While superficial connections provide breadth, deeper relationships provide strength and sustainability. The key is creating a healthy balance between the two.

Here’s how to build a network that works for you:

1. Audit Your Current Network

Take a moment to map out your connections. Ask yourself:

• Who brings value to your life and career?
• Who provides support, guidance, or mentorship?
• Where are the gaps?

This exercise helps you identify where superficial connections serve their purpose and where you need to focus on building deeper relationships.

2. Engage Meaningfully with Key Connections

Superficial doesn’t have to remain superficial. Show genuine interest in your existing connections by:

• Sending congratulatory messages for achievements.
• Offering help or resources with no expectation of return.
• Checking in without a professional “ask.”

These small engagements begin to shift the focus from purely transactional to something meaningful. This concept is also reinforced by Puspojit Roy Jit , in his article on networking he states that approaching someone every blue moon with a sole purpose of seeking a "benefit" could be deemed inappropriate. He states that "People can sense when they're being approached purely for what they can offer, rather than who they are. This often leads to shallow connections that don't endure beyond the initial contact".

3. Maintain an Intentional Approach

Not every connection will evolve into something more profound—and that’s okay. The key here is intention. Make sure you approach new connections with clarity about their purpose.

For instance:

• For industry insights? Superficial might suffice.
• Looking for career mentorship? Build deeper trust and rapport.

Karan Lakhwani states that having a strategy is an important factor for both striking and maintaining connections. He goes on to say that using "the right medium" to approach a new potential network is a key.

4. Join Professional Communities

Communities designed around shared interests or goals—like industry groups or alumni networks—create space for meaningful interaction. These environments foster authentic relationships that naturally go beyond the surface. Michael Klein promotes human touch and advocates for confidently putting yourself out there. His article propagates a critical aspect of networking - confidence. Something I have to admit I don't have personally.

5. Invest in Reciprocity

Networking isn’t all about what you can gain; it’s about what you can give. Prioritize offering support, whether that’s advice, connecting peers, or endorsing their work. The more value you bring to others, the more long-lasting those relationships become.

Real-World Example

Consider this scenario:

An entrepreneur attends a conference and connects with several industry leaders, exchanging business cards and LinkedIn invites. These relationships remain transactional for months—until she notices one connection posting about hiring challenges. Recognizing an opportunity to help, she offers her expertise in recruitment strategies.

Her act of giving without expectation evolves this superficial connection into one of mutual respect and collaboration. Six months later, that same connection refers her business to a high-profile client, yielding lasting benefits for both parties.

The lesson? Even superficial beginnings can lead to profound professional bonds when nurtured intentionally.

Why It’s Time to Reimagine Networking

Superficial connections aren’t the enemy—they’re a tool. They have their place in the larger puzzle of professional growth, but they should never define the entirety of your network.

By balancing strategic transactional relationships with deep, authentic partnerships, you can create a robust network that not only supports your career ambitions but also provides personal fulfillment.

Truly Yours,

Narghiza Ergashova, CPA, EMBA Founder of The Golden Ritual

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