Support for partners after baby loss

I wish I’d had someone like me to talk to… and I didn’t.

Whilst there are many baby loss support services in Birmingham, very few are targeted towards dads and partners. We want to change this.

Our Maternal Mental Health Service has teamed up with baby loss support charity, The Lily Mae Foundation, to encourage more bereaved partners to reach out if they need support.

The loss of a baby can be a devastating and traumatic experience that affects both women and men. After baby loss, people often focus on the person who carried the baby. Whilst this is naturally the focus in tragic situations like this, it’s also important to acknowledge that partners have experienced a loss too and may also need support.

Working together with Matt Whitehouse, a father who lost his daughter Callie eight years ago due to complications at birth, we want to raise awareness of the support groups available in Birmingham specifically for partners.

Sharing his lived experience of baby loss, Matt reflects on how difficult it was to find the appropriate support during the hardest moment of his life. After receiving help from The Lily Mae Foundation, Matt is now a Peer Support Worker at the very place that helped him through his loss, and now supports partners going through what he once did.

Matt hopes his story will encourage more partners across the borough to get the help they need when trying to navigate their grief. Matt said:

My message is, don’t be afraid to access this support, because all we want to do is help you.

Fathers often feel the need to mask their grief to emotionally support their partners, many jumping back into work without allowing themselves the opportunity to fully heal.

Working with The Lily Mae Foundation ® , a new pathway specifically for dads and partners has been set up, providing a safe space to talk to people like Matt who have gone through similar experiences. No matter how recent or long ago, we are here to help you. Support services can vary depending on what works best for you, such as face to face, telephone calls or video calls.

Dr Samantha Day, Consultant Clinical Psychologist and Clinical Lead for our Maternal Mental Health Service said:

"We are so pleased as a service to be able to offer something to the partners of the birthing people we support, who we know have their own experiences of grief and often mental health distress following the loss of baby. Being able to connect with someone like Matt from The Lily Mae Foundation will hopefully support partners to feel less alone in their experiences and provide some valuable peer support.”

If you would like to learn more about our bereavement support services, please email bsmhft.mmhs@nhs.net to speak to a member of the team.