Supporting Men’s Mental Health: Lessons from an EAP

As an administrator in an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), I frequently review calls for quality assurance, and I’ve noticed a concerning trend: very few men are seeking counseling services. Despite widespread campaigns like Man Therapy, more than 63% of our services are not being utilized by men. This is especially troubling considering that men—particularly middle-aged and senior men—are at an exceptionally high risk of suicide. So, why are they not reaching out for help?

One significant barrier may be the stigma that still surrounds mental health in many communities. Many men may still view seeking counseling as a sign of weakness or failure. Years ago, when I was doing clinical work, I received a referral from an HR director for a middle-aged man who worked as a conveyor line technician. This man had been repeatedly kicking the machinery and using profanity in front of employees whenever things went wrong. He was a skilled worker, but his behavior was inappropriate and clearly against company policy and he had been mandated to attend counseling.

When he came into my office, he was clearly frustrated and didn’t want to be there. However, after some initial conversation, we focused on how he could meet his employer’s expectations while also addressing the deeper frustrations in his life. As we spoke, he began to open up about personal losses and the pain he had been carrying for years. When our session time was up, he was surprised and disappointed that it had only been 50 minutes, thinking he’d had a full hour. I reassured him that 50 minutes was the standard counseling session and that we would continue with weekly sessions.

What began as a mandated referral eventually developed into a meaningful therapeutic relationship. Through this process, the man was able to express his pain and loss, and we worked together to find healthier coping mechanisms than the frustration he had been channeling into his job. Thanks to this opportunity, he not only kept his job but also found a renewed sense of joy and relief in his life.

This is just one example of how transformational therapy can be for men dealing with unresolved pain, trauma, or loss. Many men believe they must face these challenges alone and that seeking help is not the “masculine” thing to do. Instead, they often turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms that can lead to even greater suffering.

If you’re a man in need of counseling services, I encourage you to explore your company’s EAP. These services are free, confidential, and typically short-term. There’s no long-term commitment required, just give it a try for a few sessions. You have nothing to lose and potentially a lot to gain.

To Your Wellbeing,

Myron Unruh, Chief Operating Officer

The MINES Team