Tantric Take
Ilana Brown is a seasoned Customer Success and Operations Leader who currently runs Customer and Artist Success at Co:Create Ink. With over 15 years of experience, she excels in scaling high-growth startups in SaaS and hospitality, serving both SMBs and enterprise-level organizations. Ilana is driven by her passion for optimizing customer journeys, ensuring seamless experiences, and fostering strong team dynamics.
As a Customer Success Consultant, Ilana has been advising early-stage startups since January 2021. Her expertise lies in crafting customer engagement strategies, optimizing onboarding experience, and enhancing adoption and retention, benefiting companies such as Guestlogix, Smarthop, Vita Mojo, Sauce, and Kama across various industries.
Prior to her consultancy work, Ilana held leadership roles at SEVENROOMS, where she oversaw global client relations, and Frontline Foods, where she co-founded and organized initiatives supporting frontline heroes during the COVID-19 pandemic. Ilana's diverse career journey includes contributing to innovative ventures, serving as an advisor for Selfbook and Alpaca VC, and co-producing Zuzalu, a 2 month long pop-up community experiment in Montenegro visioned by Vitalik Buterin.
Aside from Ilana's professional career, she is also a passionate advocate for personal growth and exploration, particularly in the realms of expression, embodiment, and Tantra. Her transformative journey into Tantra, which initially aimed to enhance her relationship and personal growth, has led her to embrace a holistic approach to life.
#FridayFutures Highlight 32: Ilana Brown, Customer Success Consultant and Advisor
How do your professional career in customer success and your exploration of women's work, tantra, and related movements intersect, and what led you to explore these parallel worlds while maintaining a balance between them?
Throughout my career, I worked at tech startups in New York City. Before COVID-19, I was running client success at a company called SEVENROOMS, taking it from nearly nothing to a substantial 30 million dollars in annual revenue. It was a fast-paced, all-encompassing role.
However, when the pandemic hit, my husband and I were traveling together. Eventually, we made the decision to leave behind everything we'd been working on, including a significant nonprofit project in the hospitality sector.
Upon our arrival in Bali, I noticed a distinct shift in my surroundings. I had been living a very structured life, focused on achievements and goals. In Bali, I observed women who seemed to effortlessly embody their feminine energy and intuition. It was a stark contrast to my usual self, which led me to believe that I could never move with such grace and flow.
But during our seven-month stay in Bali, I discovered coaches who specialized in embodiment, helping individuals balance their masculine and feminine energies. It turned out that I had been predominantly operating in a masculine mindset, which, while effective for achieving goals, didn't foster a deep connection with myself.
I decided to work with coaches and interviewed several until I found one I resonated with—Chantelle Raven. I continued to work with her in Bali and after returning home. Over time, I even became a practitioner in this field, and it's been a transformative journey.
Now that I'm back in the tech workforce, integrating these experiences is somewhat subconscious. It's reflected in how I communicate with colleagues, those I support, and in various projects, including Zuzalu. In Zuzalu, these are actual people living together and there’s a need to learn how to talk to each other and be mindful of their actions. So, I started hosting a weekly women's circle. These gatherings provided a safe place for women to share their feelings and thoughts. It created an environment where they felt secure and could be themselves. This sense of safety allowed them to keep growing and learning in whatever they were doing.
Can you share a bit more about what is a Women’s Circle?
A women's circle is a space where women can freely explore and express their feelings. In this world, I'm surrounded by amazing, aware, professional, and brilliant women. However, not everyone has such an environment, and not everyone feels they can truly express themselves. Feeling and sharing emotions is essential for learning and growth.
In a women's circle, we start by setting some guidelines. These include confidentiality, where everything shared in the circle stays within it, and a no-judgment policy. We repeat these guidelines, even if everyone is familiar with them, to ensure a safe space.
We often use prompts to start discussions. For instance, we might go around and share one word that describes how we're feeling. This simple exercise allows newcomers to open up without fear of judgment. We also sometimes share a "rose" (something positive), a "bud" (an opportunity or something blooming), and a "thorn" (a challenge) in our lives. As people become more comfortable, they tend to share more about their thorns, which is important because we don't often talk about our challenges. We also take time to appreciate the "roses" in our lives and support one another through both struggles and joys.
Being part of such a circle can be transformative, as it allows people to release their burdens, knowing they are held and supported without judgment or attempts to fix them. It's a beautiful experience to witness this transformation.
How do you maintain a balance in women's circles between addressing challenges and anxieties while also acknowledging and celebrating successes and positive aspects of life?
The circles are designed to accentuate the wins and the challenges. Each person has to talk about both ends, and they are celebrated and held in both.
Understandably, the challenges could go on, so we have timers, and we stick to them. This is important both for individuals and for the overall duration of the session. Without timers, our gatherings could go on for hours. Depending on the number of participants, I calculate how many minutes each person gets, with a little buffer.
It's crucial to leave time between each person's sharing. After someone talks about their rose, bud, and thorn, there's a chance for others to ask questions or simply let that person explore their feelings more deeply.
However, there comes a point where I have to gently cut off a discussion, especially if someone is delving deeply into a challenging issue. In such cases, I offer to continue the conversation separately, providing coaching or support. This helps ensure that the entire group isn't consumed by one person's intense experience.
As the facilitator of the women's circle, I do this with respect to everyone present and to maintain healthy boundaries. It also serves as an example for others, showing that it's okay to set boundaries for themselves.
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What drew you to Tantra, and how do you define Tantra beyond its sexual connotations? How did you come across this practice during your transition to a more feminine approach?
I discovered Tantra through an unexpected avenue, which initially seemed related to sex, but it's actually about much more. When my husband and I arrived in Bali, we decided to work on our relationship and personal growth. During our search for coaches, we came across a Tantra coach who resonated with us. We decided to engage in a four-day private immersion, just us and our 2 coaches, to explore Tantra.
Tantra isn't solely about sex; in fact it’s mostly no. It encompasses various aspects of life. It involves breath, sound, movement, and the entire spectrum of emotions, both positive and what some might label as negative. In Tantra, there's a belief that no emotion is inherently negative; negativity arises from resisting these emotions. Instead of resisting, Tantra encourages embracing and working with all emotions and experiences.
My journey into Tantra initially aimed to improve our sex life and relationship, but I discovered that Tantra is much broader. It includes sex because it doesn't exclude anything; it's about embracing all aspects of life for personal growth and expansion.
Are there particular individuals, projects, or modalities that have inspired you personally, and that you'd recommend to others for their own personal growth and exploration?
My Tantra teacher is one of the best in the world, which is why I work with her, even though she lives in Australia. Her name is Chantelle Raven, and she started the Embodied Awakening Academy. I highly recommend following her work on Instagram and exploring her blogs; she really balances spirituality and the pragmatism of living life.
Some projects that I really love include Layla Martin. She has a course that enables people to become sex, love, and intimacy coaches. One of the things I'm passionate about is bridging the gap and eliminating the stigma around talking about these things, discussing the challenges that every single one of us faces in some capacity. The only people who don't have these problems are the ones who resist acknowledging them. Everyone faces challenges in their relationships, parental trauma, sibling trauma, and elementary school friend trauma. Nobody in the world is exempt from these experiences. Pretending like they don't exist doesn't benefit anyone.
Layla has created a course for people to become coaches, opening up a whole new world of coaching opportunities, for better or worse. Anyone can become one, but it helps people dive deeper into the areas they care about and want to support others in.
Another project I'd like to mention is Kama Lab. They offer educational videos and workshops on communication and relationships, led by Chloe Macintosh, and I've been inspired by her since I first saw her on Instagram.
Additionally, there's some other work that's not necessarily Tantra-related but shares some modalities. Dick Schwartz's Internal Family Systems (IFS) is brilliant, and it's where I get the idea of separating yourself from your emotions. You don't have to be your emotion; you can say, 'I'm not sad; I have sadness, or there's a part of me that's sad.' It separates your identity from the emotion, making it easier to address what's happening. IFS is truly incredible
There are also other people in the sexual wellness space, like Alexandra Fine from Dame, who are focused on removing the stigma around these topics. Everyone has sex, thinks about sex, and wants it to be good and comfortable while being able to communicate about it. While it's not all about sex, it's crucial for people to communicate with their friends and partners about sex and not suppress it, as society often does.
There’s also this intimacy archetype thing called The Erotic Blueprints by Miss Jaiya, and while some may think this stuff is rocket science, it's not. There are numerous frameworks designed to help everyday people solve problems and explore their own challenges, understanding why they are the way they are. It's similar to love languages but for sex.
Erotic Blueprints offers a quiz for less than twenty dollars, and it provides you with results to discover your unique Erotic Blueprint. This tool helps you understand why you enjoy certain things and why you may not like others, even if your partner does. It's a valuable resource for assessing compatibility, especially since many people struggle in these areas.
It's amazing that there's so much content available on this topic. We just need to share it more and encourage more conversations about it. I'm open about the challenges I've faced in my life because when I share, others often say, 'Oh, I have a similar challenge.' Once they start talking about it, they find it much easier to solve.
What advice do you have for someone wanting to embrace their feminine side but lacks access to abundant resources or coaching, particularly in developing qualities like vulnerability and receptivity?
There are many coaches out there. I started with a company called Guided by Woo. Our purpose is to help people discover the right coach or workshop for whatever challenges they're facing. Whether it's stepping into their feminine energy more, improving communication with their partner, or any other area, I assist them in finding the right coach or workshop.
There's a plethora of coaches and workshops available, and here's what I'd suggest: start by following them on Instagram and keeping an eye on different coaches. Pay attention to who they are, what kind of message resonates with you, and the content they share. Many workshops and coaches offer a wealth of valuable content. You can also reach out to me for recommendations based on what you want to work on. Alternatively, start getting to know some of these coaches by watching their stories and seeing their everyday lives. You can discern which ones are more authentic and natural in their approach. Sometimes, even though their content might not look as polished, they can be the better coach for you compared to those who appear highly produced and have a large content team behind them.
I recommend reading various articles and taking it slow. Don't pressure yourself into doing things that lead to vulnerability hangovers. There's a treasure trove of amazing content out there; it's all about what you're searching for.
How can we stay in touch with you?
You can always reach out to me at ilana@guidedbywoo.com. Additionally, you can visit my website at ilanawish.com, which provides various ways to get in touch with me. That's probably the easiest way to reach me and stay updated on what I'm writing and reading. You can also find me on LinkedIn and Instagram; I'm easily discoverable. I don't consider myself to be exclusive, so feel free to reach out anytime.
Have thoughts on this week’s topic or question for me or Ilana? Post your thoughts in the comment section. Until next week.🙂
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