Ted Lasso – the Anti-Racist/Anti-Sexist Role Model We (White Men) Need Now

There are certain things that we can’t value until we have experienced them. The pandemic has exposed us to a lot of these experiences; fathers have experienced the joy of a stronger bond with their children that comes from taking a more equal share in parenting responsibilities, the growing environmental movement in cities like Delhi and Shanghai because people, for the first time, have experienced clear skies on a regular basis. Describing these things or hearing about them just doesn’t translate into a clear understanding of the value they provide. The understanding of that value comes only with having had the experience. 

As a society, we are just beginning to recognize and confront the immense harm caused by a culture dominated by white male supremacy. This is not going to be an easy journey. There are significant power structures that will need to be let go of. Power structures, primarily held by white men who on some level, are aware of their privilege and are deeply uncomfortable with those privileges.

In his book, The Hidden Wound, the Poet Wendel Berry says “If the White man has inflicted the wound of racism upon Black men, the cost has been that he would receive the mirror image of that wound into himself. As the master, or as a member of the dominant race, he has felt little compulsion to acknowledge or speak of it; the more painful it has grown the more deeply he has hidden it within himself. But the wound is there, and is a profound disorder, as great a damage in his mind as it is in his society.”

And that’s the thing, as white men we are suffering under the structures we perpetuate. Definitely not as much suffering as those who are the objects of racism and sexism, but we are suffering. The imposter syndrome alone - that nagging suspicion that we have been given a leg up that we don’t deserve and the crushing guilt that comes with the realization of how people of color are treated by our institutions, treatment that we just don’t need to face. 

And yet, we have no way of experiencing the joy of what letting go of these toxic beliefs will be like. We are left with the fear of being found out as racist and sexist, of being called out and humiliated. 

And that is the beauty of art – it gives us a sense of a future that we cannot see on our own. And when it comes to showing the beauty of what it could look like to be let go of some of those racist and sexist structures the Apple TV+ show Ted Lasso shows a wonderful way forward. Here are three examples of how it’s done in the show. 

Warning beyond this point, there be spoilers! If you haven’t seen the show and don’t want to know stuff – stop reading. (And what are you waiting for anyway? Ted Lasso is amazing)

• When the Ghanaian Billionaire Edwin Akufo is introduced to the show Ted Lasso greets him with a hardy “Hakuna Matata!” Immediately Ted acknowledges that the statement was racist by simply saying “That was kinda raciest.” He did not deflect, fain upset, or flagellate himself for the slip. His immediate acknowledgement and apology implied that he knew that his racist tendencies are part of a larger conversation that we are all part of. When we recognize racism is not just white hooded men burning crosses, rather the simple act of benefiting from racism and being surrounded by it we can acknowledge our part without guilt or the need to be defensive when we make mistakes. Racism is pervasive and mistakes are unavoidable and forgivable if we ask for forgiveness. Avoiding responsibility and making the objects of our racist blunders responsible for dealing with our shame is not. 
• Roy Kent – the toughest and gruffest guy on the show does a great job of showing us what an anti-sexist relationship can look like. On several occasions Roy acknowledges and supports his girlfriend Keely as the powerhouse that she is. He has no need to diminish her power and actively supports her leading with that power. In doing so, he opens himself up to a different (and I think, more satisfying) form of masculinity, not based on the rage that ran his younger life, but one of grounded strength where he is able to acknowledge the complexity of his feelings, ask for advice, and have deeper relationships with other men. Roy shows us that being supportive of women’s power doesn’t make us less powerful, rather allows us the freedom to express ourselves in new ways that are more fulfilling and devoid of the anxiety inherent in striving for dominance. 
• Ted Lasso is a workplace comedy taking place on a football (soccer for us Americans) team so of course there is a big game scene. After the first half of the game, things aren’t going well, and the team can’t seem to execute their False 9 strategy. The coaches discuss abandoning it for a simpler one mid game when Roy suggests asking the team. When he does, Ted immediately goes and asks the team. We are taught that leadership is about knowing the answer, about being the “smartest guy in the room” but the world is not like that, and one person can’t manage the complexities alone nor can one person see all possibilities. A leader capable of admitting that and expanding their decision-making circle allows for inclusion and better decisions. More importantly our colleagues participating in decisions will own them in a way not possible with mandates.  

It might be hard to see but an Anti-Racist and sexist future will be more fulfilling for us all. I am grateful for Ted Lasso for giving us a sense of what that future might be like. Perhaps it will inspire more of us to work toward that future. 

I am sure I have missed some things – what are examples of how Ted Lasso helped you see the benefits of being a better human?