Telling the Hard Stories: Lessons from a Storytelling Festival

Preparing

Coming off the stage of a keynote in October 2023, another speaker told me, “You must use Matthew Dicks as your speaking coach.” I admitted two things: I was flattered he even thought I had a speaking coach, and I didn’t know who Matt was. So, I bought Matt’s book, Storyworthy, and learned about his remarkable achievements in the Moth StorySLAM and GrandSLAM. It made me want to up my game and become a better storyteller.

When my friend Randy Bretz invited me to apply for the Nebraska Storytelling Festival, I knew this was the chance to honor my 2024 intention to practice different speaking engagements. I applied, got selected, and then started working on the story. It had to be a true story, but the art was in how to tell it. I leaned on the knowledge that I took from Storyworthy and even hired Matt for a couple hours of direct coaching. After a bit he said, “You had a B, B+ story, and I think we’re on our way to an A+.”

I adjusted the structure, shifted “ands” to “but/therefore” moments to keep the story moving, amongst other adjustments. I also focused on using voice inflection and timing instead of adverbs to create impact. It was a significant shift, so much so that Matt even asked if he could use the original and revised versions in a future workshop because of how well the adjustments worked.

I put a lot of headspace into reworking that 8-10 minute story, and in the end, it was as rewarding as I’d hoped. The audience and my fellow storytellers loved it. And most importantly, my family, especially my wife, who is a key figure in the story, loved it too.

Telling the Story

The actual recounting of the story was quite hard for me. Without giving too much away, it involved a life-changing event that took place on a bus. Revisiting old notes and news articles was triggering, and it took me back to a place I needed to re-work through in therapy. 

Weeks before the event, Matt even pointed out that I was telling the story as a reflection, not from “inside it.” I realized this was my way of protecting myself from feeling those emotions again. Reworking and telling the story from the “inside” was challenging, but helped me confront and process the painful memories that still lingered. 

What was also fascinating about the process was answering for myself: What’s the story here? If it was just a story about a tragedy on a bus, that might be interesting. But the deeper story underneath, was a story about relationships and commitment. 

One of Matt’s principles, “find the five-second moment of transformation,” was key. It allowed me to reshape the story into something deeper and reclaim my purpose in telling it: what I wanted to share and why I wanted to tell the story. 

Setting Intentions

Setting intentions is my version of goal setting. It guides my major choices and energy throughout the year. At the start of 2024, I set an intention to speak on-stage more, especially in different ways than I had in the past. This festival was an opportunity to stretch myself beyond the keynotes I’m used to, and with TEDxOmaha coming up in November, I’ll have another chance to do that.

Both the festival and TEDx have pushed me in different ways and caused me to grow, a reminder that growth often comes from stepping out of our comfort zones and by embracing new formats, new challenges, and new levels of vulnerability.

Closing Thoughts

Reflecting on the festival, I realize that this story wasn't just about getting up on stage--it was a journey of facing old emotions, honing my craft, and discovering new depths of purpose in my storytelling. It took intentional preparation, a willingness to revisit difficult memories, and a commitment to vulnerability.

As I step into my next speaking engagement at TEDxOmaha, I'm reminded that every story (especially the hard ones) has the power to connect us in ways we can't always anticipate. What's your story?