There's Only 1 Way to Win Within Our Soccer Culture

Read on my website / Read time: 4 minutes

Our soccer culture sets everyone up to lose. 

Players, Coaches, Parents, and anyone with any interest in the game try to navigate a landscape that requires everyone within it to conform to its implicit rules. It's either take the deal and play our game OR lose. Our soccer culture is a zero-sum game with a few "winners" at the top and a lot of people who eventually lose out, regardless of how long you last.

But there is one perspective shift that we can all implement today that will allow us to grow within a soccer culture that sets us up to lose: 

We can prioritize process over outcomes.

One of the main reasons so many people feel like they lose, or their general enjoyment fades, is because the soccer culture is a zero-sum game that implicitly teaches us there are only winners and losers. If we don't win the game, we lose. If we don't start every match, we lose. If we don't play in the top league, we lose, and so on.

But by simply becoming process-oriented, you shift from the finite games our soccer culture plays to an infinite one where you define the rules with the sole focus of continuing to play the game. 

And this perspective shift doesn't end with our role within the soccer culture; our perspective and enjoyment of any environment can change when we value a process that we control over external factors we do not.

Development is the ultimate infinite game, but this article isn't as much about what your process is; it's about prioritizing process over prioritizing outcomes.

The rest of the article will focus on large groups within our soccer culture, including Players, Coaches, and Parents, and examine how a perspective shift toward process can help them truly "win" within our soccer culture.

Players

Problem: I don't feel like I'm improving within my current environment.

This is a problem many players face. There are many reasons they may feel this way (poor coaching, poor level, etc.), but first, what are you, as a player, using to gauge improvement? Wins, goals, starts, and the like are things you only marginally control. Self-evaluate (ask for feedback from coaches) and find out where you can improve. 

Then set up a weekly plan that helps you improve in those areas, reevaluate at the end of the week, and repeat.

And when you see improvement, celebrate it. Find new areas to improve and repeat. This keeps us in the process. 

As a player, you have a lot of autonomy over your process, so create one where you can continue improving in spite of the hang-ups of your current environment.

Additional Resource: "The One Equation That Drives Development"

Coaches

Problem: I am judged on success metrics over developmental metrics.

Our soccer culture doesn't yet understand development, so winning and success metrics can overwhelm any organization, but first, have you made explaining your vision a part of your process? Especially in youth soccer, you have to teach and constantly remind both the player and parent of the vision, so that there is no confusion over the course of a season. This way, you are better able to stick to your process long term.

And when a parent/player leaves because they don't agree with your vision, wish them well and keep iterating on your process. Your vision will not be for everyone. 

When someone doesn't align with the vision and leaves, it's addition by subtraction, which strengthens your vision and your ability to stay process-oriented.

Additional Resource: Spotting the Developer: 7 Evaluation Questions for Our Coaches

Parents

Problem: I don't know what coach, vision, or environment is optimal for helping my child reach their goals in the game.

Be careful that as a parent, you are not implicitly teaching your child that their youth development is just a means to some greater end (college, pro, etc.). Trying to control outcomes is the opposite of being in the process. We all want our children and our players to reach their potential, but that starts with creating and establishing a belief in process and development in house.

And that will not fix the reality that many parents face: many environments do not have a developmental navigation driving their process. But that doesn't excuse us from developing a process with our children that they can take ownership of and continue developing when the leadership is less than ideal.

That being said, it might be in your child's best interest to seek out a better developmental environment, but if we aren't teaching our children to become process-oriented, in spite of the environment, we are doing them a disservice.

Additional Resource: "The 7 Questions Every Youth Soccer Parent Should Be Asking"

Conclusion

A process, like development, will one day be our soccer culture's navigation, but today is not that day. 

We love the game or someone we love loves the game, so it's important we do everything within our control to ensure our passion doesn't "lose" out. We don't have control over the soccer culture, but we do have control over how we orient ourselves within the soccer culture. Developing a process that celebrates the small wins of growth and seeks out the smaller circles of improvement is ironically the best way to secure an outcome.

But with a perspective change that values process, outcomes are really just small wins that affirm the importance of sticking to the process.

Thanks for reading!

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