Things to Quit

We all get a lot of advice of things we should ADD to our world, don't we? People want you to try this "one quick trick" but you've got a thousand more of those tricks every week or two, and I bet it's all stacking up in your mind. Well, here comes me, the Permission Fairy. I'm going to wave a wand and YOU can quit doing a few things. How bout that?

Perfectionism - Chuck It

Voltaire said it - Perfect is the enemy of good. I think one of the best inventions ever at work is the concept of iterative releases. Do you know how many times I publish this letter to you and then Carey comes along and he tells me where all the typos are hidden? MOST job tasks don't require humans to be perfect. We just have to fix things as we go. Be free. (Oh: surgeons and airline pilots - pay no attention to what I just said - be perfect.)

FOMO - Not Worth It

The fear of missing out is such a waste of your energy. I bet that half the things you feel bad that you don't have are things you don't actually want to pursue. I see people regretting not being at this or that conference. MOST of them aren't as good as you think. Or you regret not being a keynote speaker on a specific stage. Or you want X car or Y house or whatever.

The truth with FOMO is that I could turn the whole thing around for you in one concept: it means you're not focused on a goal you really want to achieve.

That's right. FOMO is about drifting. Whenever you're feeling bad that someone has something you don't, it means you're not focusing on whatever it is you actually want. So throw that away. Get back to work on the thing you want to achieve. Ignore everything else.

Mind Reading - You Never Had It

One very important detail I learned when trying to get my life back together: zero people are a mind reader. Professor X is a comic book character.

Every time you spend energy wondering what someone else is thinking, it's energy you could use elsewhere. I sent my report to the boss and never heard back. Is she mad? <- That's not helpful, is it? She could be dealing with a sick parent, or talking with a real estate professional who burned down her kitchen by leaving a candle lit. Or a million things. Why try to guess?

Read and absorb the book Radical Candor. At least watch the TED talk.

Promise yourself that instead of trying to guess what other people are thinking, you either ask them or stop wasting your energy trying to guess.

Copycat Media Making - Cancel Your Subscription

Don't learn Tik Tok dances. I mean, unless you love dancing and that's what you want to do. Then learn them all. Don't follow trends. None of the people you actually care about enough to pursue their teachings have followed any particular trend. Sure, we use the media of the day. But we don't try to blend in. Why on this prickly ball of algae hurtling through space would you want to fit in? What are you? A lawn?

Make YOUR points and do it your way. Say bold things. Don't follow trends. Lordy, it's crowded in the middle.

Shyness - Just Do the Thing

I'm writing this for me, too. People laugh when I tell them I'm an introvert. I am. I'm terribly shy. But so many great things have happened to me every time I've ever dared to be brave for a moment. That's another detail: you don't have to be brave all the time. You just have to be brave for the moment where the bravery is needed.

You can ask the stupid question, the daring question. You can risk the possible negative outcome. Far more often than your overactive imagination would have you believe, the result of taking the chance ends positively or neutral at worst. Sure, you're going to ask a handsome man out on a date and find out he's taken or prefers a different gender, or whatever the reason. It's going to happen. But that's not even the win. The win is that you were brave enough to ask.

Step up. At work. Everywhere. If you're feeling that sense that no one else is saying something that's important, risk it. Why not? (As long as you're not about to hurt someone in the process. That's important NOT to do.)

Quit Thinking You're Not Worth It

You ARE worth it. You need to hear that more often. Even when you mess up. Even when someone has spent their entire life telling you otherwise. Even when you've built the story into yourself. You are worth it.

But this is also a kind of trick feeling. What's even more true is that it doesn't matter if you're worth it. What you're NOT worth is feeling anything other than the truth, which is that you are important. There are no small parts, only small actors. That feels true to all of life.

A long time ago, I worked in a nursing home helping residents get dressed and fed and spending some general time with them in between care. One guy, who went by Bucky (like a cowboy) could no longer verbalize all that well. And he couldn't move all that well. And when his family would visit, they'd cry every time, remembering him as he was. And this would make him cry.

After the family left, I'd spend extra time with Bucky. I'd talk to him about what I knew of his past, of the accomplishments that he'd done. I'd read to him engineering news stories, try to keep him current on things, because his mind was still bright and sharp. And because Bucky was worth it. (This isn't a story of how great I am or anything - it's a story about how everyone is worth it, even if other people sometimes don't realize it.)

You're worth it. Need to hear it again? Email me. Text me. Whatever. I'll tell you every day until I'm not here any more.

Quit Thinking You're Not Already Ready

You are. Do what you can do today. Do one more whatever. Try the baby ski slope before the bigger one. But you're ready. And if you're not, fail. Who cares? (Again, don't listen to me right now pilots and surgeons - do not fail). Everyone else? Fail. Quit. Do whatever. But you're ready.

I know it. You know it. It's only the Inner Critic that didn't get the memo.

You're ready.

Okay. Was that enough quitting for one day? We've got things to do. Let's do that, okay?

Chris...