Thoughts for new speakers

While preparing for this year's Microsoft Edge Web Summit, I took on mentoring some of the newest speakers. It's been forever since I gave my first talk, but I remember the fear, the uncertainty in oneself.

I made these cards to help guide and encourage them during their practice sessions. (And who doesn't forget to smile at the sight of a unicorn?)

But what I didn't remember was how much pressure new speakers put on themselves to be perfect. More experienced speakers are all about mishap recovery. I have a personal mantra on stage to never apologize (a mantra I learned back in my waitressing days: folks aren't paying to hear how sorry I am for every little less than perfect thing)!

At one point when I was starting, though, I was plagued by these same fears. Here's what I'd go back in time and tell my younger self:

  • "But what if I swear?" I've seen many speakers swear, by accident and on purpose.
  • "What if I insult someone?" It's rare for a person to live their entire life without insulting anyone. That's what heartfelt apologies are for.
  • "What if I leave something out?" Happens all the time. Don't mention it and no one will know.
  • "What if I mess something up?" Remember, the audience can't tell if that was a bug or a feature: don't tell them, and they won't know!
  • "What if I can't remember what to say?" This is why you aren't supposed to memorize your delivery.

Now I approach speaking as a conversation with the audience, where I try to tell a good story and address all their questions and complaints before we get to the Q & A. A talk should have natural variations and deviations depending on who you're talking to, how well you know your material, and how many times you've told this story.

It's tempting to think if you memorize your lines, you won't mess things up. But, then what's the difference between a live delivery and a recorded and edited video? The audience is there for the give and take, the subtle conversation you as the speaker will have them. In a way, the audience wants to feel acknowledged by you. And you can't do that if you're woodenly stepping through lines like a politician with a teleprompter.

Embrace that you're going to mess things up. And that's the point: it means you're a real person. And that's what people want to see, someone they can relate to, telling them what they need to know, a story they want to hear.

(Now I think I want to frame these cards and hang them in the office!)

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