Thoughts And Observations about Happiness

Ah, the pursuit of happiness. Is there anything more in life more important, more pleasurable, more captivating, more challenging, more frustrating, but still nothing more gratifying? Some Thoughts And Observations about Happiness:

“Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.”  Aldous Huxley –U.K writer, philosopher.

“… (P)eople universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't you will eat away your innate contentment.”  Elizabeth Gilbert, U.S. journalist, author,  best known for the memoir “Eat, Pry, Love”.

“Happiness is a gift, and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.” Charles Dickens – U.K. author.

"The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us."  Ashley Montagu – U.K./U.S. anthropologist.

“Things never go the way you expect them to. That's both the joy and frustration in life. I'm finding as I get older that I don't mind, though. It's the surprises that tickle me the most, the things you don't see coming.” Michael Stuhlbarg – U.S. actor.

“Each year, it’s no surprise that Finland tops the annual World Happiness Report. And this year (2024) was no different, marking the country’s seventh consecutive year doing so — though some Finns have bristled at the title. But the 2024 report, released on Wednesday (March 20, 2024) had a note of alarm that was less about who was at the top of the rankings and more about who wasn’t: Americans — particularly those under 30 — have become drastically less happy in recent years. The report, compiled annually by a consortium of groups including the United Nations and Gallup, was the latest data point in what some researchers have described as a crisis among America’s youth.  For the first time since the first World Happiness Report was published in 2012, the United States fell out of the Top 20 and dropped to 23rd, pushed down by cratering attitudes of Americans under 30. Americans have long been an unhappy bunch. They have never ranked in the Top 10 of the World Happiness Report, which is based on how respondents in different countries rate their own happiness. But this was the first time that the consortium separated results by age, finding disparities in the views of younger and older Americans. Among the 143 cpuntries surveyed, the United States ranked 10th for people 60 and older, but 62nd for people under 30. The happiest young people are in Lithuania, while the unhappiest are in Afghanistan. … (A)bout 1,000 people in each of the more than 130 countries surveyed annually from 2021 to 2023. Respondents were asked — among other prompts — to think of their life as a ladder and to rate it on a scale of one to 10, with 10 being the best possible life. … In 2022, a Harvard University study showed that well-being among young adults in the United States had declined in the previous 20 years. Young people — those between the ages of 18 and 25 — reported the lowest levels of happiness reported the compared with other age groups, as well as the poorest mental and physical health, sense of purpose, character, virtue, close social relationships and financial stability. Similar findings have emerged in Britain and Canada. … ‘Part of the problem is that we have this huge expectation of happiness in America,’ said Eric Weiner, the author of "The Geography of Bliss", and so we suffer partly from the unhappiness of not being happy and the expectation that we should be happy. And not every country in the world has that.”  Posted March 20, 2024, in The New York Times by Sopan Deb – U.S. journalist.

“Storybook happiness involves every form of pleasant thumb-twiddling; true happiness involves the full use of one’s powers and talents.” John W. Gardner – U.S. academic, served as Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare under President Lyndon Johnson, strong advocate for citizen participation and founded Common Cause ; became known as "the father of campaign finance reform".

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!”  Dolly Parton – U.S. singer, songwriter, actress.

“We have to embrace obstacles to reach the next stage of joy. … If we can just let go and trust that things will work out the way they're supposed to, without trying to control the outcome, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.”  Goldie Hawn – U.S. actress.

“We're taught to be ashamed of confusion, anger, fear and sadness, and to me they're of equal value to happiness, excitement and inspiration.” Alanis Morissette – Canadian/U.S. singer, songwriter, musician.

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to swim.” Jon Kabat Zinn – U.S. academic, professor emeritus of medicine and the creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the UMass Chan Medical School .

“It's part of life to have obstacles. It's about overcoming obstacles; that's the key to happiness.” Herbie Hancock – U.S. musician.

“Sometimes life knocks you on your ass... get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them.”  Steve Maraboli – U.S. author, behavioral science academic.

“Happiness is a risk. If you’re not a little scared, then you’re not doing it right.”  Sarah Addison Allen – U.S. author.

“Just because you are happy it does not mean that the day is perfect but that you have looked beyond its imperfections.”  Bob Marley - Jamaican singer, guitarist, songwriter.

“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.”  Michael J. Fox – U.S. actor.

“Our drive to seek out happiness is a muscle that we can develop. So is our ability to relish experiences. And almost anyone can learn to amp up their reward sensitivity by training themselves to notice and savor their positive emotions. That’s even true for people with depression and anxiety who struggle to experience pleasure, a condition called anhedonia. … (I)mproving positive emotions can be a higher priority for patients than containing their depressive symptoms. And research shows that treatments based on this idea can be effective.  A 2023 study co-led by Dr. (Alicia) Meuret (a professor of psychology at Southern Methodist University ) found that when adults experiencing depression or anxiety participated in 15 weeks of psychotherapy focused on enhancing positive emotions, they reported more improvement than a group whose therapy focused on reducing negative emotions.  … To raise your reward sensitivity, you can try an exercise based on the treatment plans in these studies. Make it a daily practice for as long as it’s helpful, but commit to at least a week. Begin by planning one activity per day that will make you happy or give you a sense of accomplishment. This will make you less likely to postpone positive experiences. Be realistic — it can be as small as treating yourself to a favorite snack, reading a few pages of a novel or FaceTiming a friend. After you’ve enjoyed that daily moment, close your eyes and recount out loud, in the present tense, where and when you experienced the greatest joy. Home in on details and physical sensations, like the breeze cooling your face as the sun shines. This all might feel hokey, but don’t gloss over the specifics, Dr. Meuret cautioned. The idea isn’t just to remember how you felt, but to amplify and reexperience it. Psychologists call the process of identifying and immersing in positive emotions savoring. ‘Growing the glow of positive emotions,’ as Dr. (Lucas) LaFreniere (an assistant professor of psychology at Skidmore College ) put it, strengthens your memory of them, and increases your motivation to seek them out going forward. Savoring also helps counteract the very human tendency to focus on and remember negative aspects of an event: the friend who was 15 minutes late, the thing you wish you hadn’t said.” From a August 19, 2024, article in The New York Times by Dr. Jenny Taitz – U.S. licensed clinical psychologist, assistant clinical professor in psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles .

“Happiness isn’t something you experience: it’s something you remember.” Oscar Levant – U.S. pianist, composer, actor.

“There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well.”  Nicholas Sparks – U.S. novelist, screenwriter, film producer.

“The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.” Ernest Dimnet – French priest, author.

“The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.”  Doug Larson – U.S. journalist.

"One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats." Iris Murdoch – Irish/U.K.novelist, philosopher. 

“Maybe the truth is, there's a little bit of loser in all of us. Being happy isn't having everything in your life be perfect. Maybe it's about stringing together all the little things.”  Ann Brashares – U.S. novelist.

“Perfect happiness is a beautiful sunset, the giggle of a grandchild, the first snowfall. It's the little things that make happy moments, not the grand events. Joy comes in sips, not gulps.”  Sharon Draper – U.S. writer, educator.

“It's not possible to experience constant euphoria, but if you're grateful, you can find happiness in everything.” Pharrell Williams – U.S. singer, songwriter.

“Happiness is a mysterious thing, to be found somewhere between too little and too much.”  Ruskin Bond – Indian author.

“The greatest joys in life are found not only in what we do and feel, but also in our quiet hopes and labors for others.”  Bryant McGill – U.S. author, activist, social entrepreneur.

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” Mary Lou Retton – U.S. gymnast.

“Happiness is only real when shared.” Christopher McCandless – U.S. adventurer.

‘You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness.’ Brad Garrett – U.S. comedian, actor.

“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.”  Mark Twain – U.S. author.

“When it comes to relationship compromise, it's a fine balance between doing something for your own happiness and finding happiness in being of service to another person, in whatever way that ends up being.” Chris Sullivan- U.S. actor, musician.

“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others...By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.”  Gordon B. Hinckley – U.S. religious leader.

“If you're not making someone else's life better, then you're wasting your time. Your life will become better by making other lives better.”   Will Smith – U.S. actor, film producer.

“Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.” H. Jackson Brown Jr. – U.S. author.

“You are forgiven for your happiness and your successes only if you generously consent to share them.” Albert Camus - French philosopher, author.

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting some on yourself.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson – U.S. philosopher.

“Happiness is not something that you can find, acquire, or achieve directly. You have to get the conditions right and then wait. Some of those conditions are within you, such as coherence among the parts and levels of your personality. Other conditions require relationships to things beyond you: Just as plants need sun, water, and good soil to thrive, people need love, work, and a connection to something larger. It is worth striving to get the right relationships between yourself and others, between yourself and your work, and between yourself and something larger than yourself. If you get these relationships right, a sense of purpose and meaning will emerge.”  Jonathan Haidt – U.S. social psychologist, author, Thomas Cooley Professor of Ethical Leadership at the NYU Stern School of Business , main areas of study are the psychology of morality and moral emotions.

“Well, your greatest joy definitely comes from doing something for another, especially when it was done with no thought of something in return.”  John Wooden – U.S basketball coach, won ten NCAA national championships in a 12-year period as head coach for the UCLA Bruins, including a record seven in a row. 

“Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable.” Leo Rosten – U.S. writer, humorist.

“The best moments in our lives, are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times—although such experiences can also be enjoyable, if we have worked hard to attain them. The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Optimal experience is thus something that we make happen. For a child, it could be placing with trembling fingers the last block on a tower she has built, higher than any she has built so far; for a swimmer, it could be trying to beat his own record; for a violinist, mastering an intricate musical passage. For each person there are thousands of opportunities, challenges to expand ourselves.” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi – Hungarian/U.S. psychologist.

“The secret of happiness is: Find something more important than you are and dedicate your life to it.” Daniel Dennett – U.S. philosopher, cognitive scientist.

“The necessary thing for anyone to be happy and contented as long as he lives is working for the ones who will come after him rather than working for himself... One can reach the true delight and happiness in the life only by working for the existence, honor, and happiness of the future generations.” Mustafa Kemal Ataturk - Turkish statesman, author.

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.”  Andy Rooney – U.S. writer.

“Happiness is a state of mind, a choice, a way of living; it is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced.”  Steve Maraboli – U.S. author, behavioral science academic. 

“Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself. Happiness comes from within. You have the power to change your own mindset so that all the negative, horrible thoughts that try to invade your psyche are replaced with happy, positive, wonderful thoughts.”  Ellen DeGeneres – U.S. comedian, actress, writer.

“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.” Marcel Pagnol – French novelist, playwright.

“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.”  Greg Anderson – U.S. race car driver.

“The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.” Bertrand Russell - U.K. philosopher, social critic, political activist.

“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.”  Carlos Castaneda – U.S. anthropologist, writer.

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise grows it under his feet.”  James Oppenheim – U.S. poet, novelist.

“Be happy in the moment, that's enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.”  Mother Teresa – Albanian/Indian nun.

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine and the shadow will fall behind you.” Walt Whitman – U.S. poet, essayist.

“People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or full miss the point. The glass is refillable.” – Unknown.

“In times of joy, all of us wished we possessed a tail we could wag.” W. H. Auden – U.K./U.S. poet.

“I'm trying to stay as calm as possible and focus one day at a time, but when reality sets in, I feel everything: anxiety, excitement, nerves, pressure and joy.”  Shawn Johnson – U.S. gymnast.

“Happiness and confidence are the prettiest things you can wear.”  Taylor Swift – U.S. singer, songwriter.

“Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind.” — Daphne du Maurier – U.K. novelist.

“Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr. – U.S. author.

“Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.”  Bernard Meltzer – U.S. radio host.

“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”  Robert Brault – U.S. author.

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” Marianne Williamson – U.S. author, political activist.

“What a wonderful life I’ve had. I only wish I’d realized it sooner.”  Colette – French author, actress.