The Three (3) Vacations that Matter Most

Most of us need not to be reminded when we were singles, we took vacation whenever wherever there is a chance. Long weekend. Cheap ticket price. Just feel like it. Think, Buy, Go! It got even easier these days with the “pay later”.

Things get slightly more expensive when you got married, but they were still that simple. Long weekend. Cheap ticket price. Both of you feel like it. Think, Buy, Go!

When you have kids, now this is where most of us started to deprioritize vacation in our life. Too complicated, too expensive, not as enjoyable with all the hazzles, etc. I got inspired by an article I read (and couldn’t find again) a few years ago, since then, I have been doing THREE different (types of) vacation which I believe all families need to do once every 1–2 years.

Family Vacation

Core family vacation. It means you, your spouse, and your kids and that’s it. No Mbak No Sus No Mom. “But I live with my mom” “But my parents need me everyday” there will always be Buts, it ain’t matter. You got to do what you got to do. You and/or your spouse might think you guys are not good enough, YOU ARE! Be positive, think fun, and just do it. It will not be that bad. Loosen the rules at home, focus on the togetherness, teamwork among each and everyone of you (yes, including the babies / toddlers). If one of you are too scared, do 2–3 days staycation, that’s the minimum you can do. Guaranteed, the bond will be formed naturally between each and every member of the family.

Honeymoon

You and your spouse only, just the two of you.

When you book the hotels, mention that this is a “honeymoon” trip. When you talk to one another, use the exact word “honeymoon”. When you post photos on social media, use #honeymoon.

What about the kids? Can’t leave them behind? “My mom is too old.” “I can’t trust my nanny.” “I can’t leave my kids, I will miss them everyday, I won’t enjoy my vacation” Blablabla. All are excuses. In Jan 2019, we left two kids in Malang and Surabaya and we went for 15 days to Italy and Zermatt (Switzerland). At the end, we missed our kids too much, next time, we agreed to reduce to 12 days. There will be someone who will be kind enough to take care of your kids temporarily, they might not like it full, but you will find someone who are willing. With technology these days, you can still monitor them, daily end of day or start of day catchups. Once you leave them behind physically, leave them behind mentally and enjoy your honeymoon. Since you call it “honeymoon”, guaranteed, there will be rekindled resparkled times / fires between the two of you. Those you two thought were long gone after you have kids, it’s only possible when you are away and alone just the two of you.

FatherKids Adventure / Girls “Whatever” Trip

Assuming the mother spends more time with the kids, the father, we do fatherkids (for me it’s father daughters) adventure trip without the mother. You start when your kid is old enough to follow instructions. For me, I started in Apr 2018. Yuuki (my first daughter) was 2 years 4 months old at that time and we went to Japan, just the two of us. Almost everyone were against my plan. “Kid too young” “You can’t change diapers” “You can’t take care of her poopoo and peepee” Blablabla. All are doubts, excuses. Was lucky that I was by default stubborn and my wife was supportive. My daughter and I did a trial adventure trip to Borobudur during a super hot day and we survived. I learned the how to just before the trip, and guess what, just like kids, when you were thrown to a situation with no option but to do it, you will be able to do it. Of course the trip wouldn’t be as easy as if you were to go alone by yourself or by your family. I sleep later after my daughter and I wake up earlier.

Here are some examples of my daily routines:

• After putting her to sleep, I prepare tomorrow’s trip and things to bring inside the bag, i.e., how many sachets of milks, diapers, clothings, plan B clothings, snacks, waters.
• Right after waking up, I take a shower and do my morning routines to get ready.
• Then, I prepare her breakfast. Usually about 9am, I wake her up, she has her breakfast, shower her, help her brush her teeth, then off we go.

While we were away from the hotels, the most important part is to make sure that they eat on-time. You go to a restaurant, you eat first (contrary to the popular belief you eat last) then feed them / encourage them to eat. If they refuse, give her deadline, mine is 3 trials (about 15mins), if they still refuse, I pay the bill and feed them milk.

I learned that the key is to get them tired. If they are tired enough, they would naturally be hungry and ask for more food beyond just milk. Last year I went with Yuuki alone.

This year 2019, I spend good 7 days with just Yuuki and Reijin (my second daughter). Guaranteed, after the adventure trip, your kids would know that you love them and you were capable of doing things differently than the mom and they will continue seeking for you for things you did together during the adventure trip.

While the dad goes with the kids, the mom can do her girls trip with her friends. Whatever she wish do, or did when she was younger.

“I don’t have enough money” “I don’t have enough vacation days” Blablabla. All are excuses.

Plan ahead, that’s the secret formula that is not too secret.

I planned my Feb 2019 Italy trip in Mar 2018, literally 11 months ahead. Before you say those excuses, have you tried planning ahead as far as I did? By the way, who says the trip need to be abroad? You find vacation that suits yourself.

Everytime you come back from the vacation, you will feel at least mentally recharged. Almost like you hit a reset button in a game, you got a full energy bar again, you can jump higher, you can run faster. You are happier.

Vacation matters to my better life. I bet it matters to your life as well.

Take Three (3) of them! 👊💪🔥

The original article was published here on Dec 19, 2019.