Three Tips to Deal with Unkind Relatives and Friends This Holiday Season

Holidays can be stressful.

And this year, with Omicron spreading quickly and many people waiting in long lines to get tested before they travel is even more stressful.

But then there’s your Aunt, Uncle, Grandparent, Parent or Sibling, or even a friend that is waiting to ask you questions about your job and career.

You are dreading those conversations.  

They are going to be nosy.

Sure, they mean well, but it’s the way they come across with their questions and that edge that just grates on your nerves.

Over the years, I’ve had a few uncomfortable conversations during the Holidays and bit my tongue so hard it wanted to bleed.

So, here’s a few lessons I’ve learned that I want to share with you to help make these conversations a bit easier.

Tip #1 – Own Where You Are

Perhaps your career isn’t where you want it to be. It doesn’t mean you aren’t working hard or doing your best each day. It’s been a challenging year with the pandemic and sometimes, creating your next advancement opportunity isn’t easy. Own it. Be proud of what you get to do each day to help move your career forward as you build Your Mid-Career GPS. This is your journey. Be careful who you let in your head and heart when it comes to your career. Everyone has an opinion. Trust your GPS to guide you. For them, they think it’s a big deal. You’ve got this. You know where you are and where you are going.

Tip #2 – Remember That You Are Not Stuck

A dear friend and mentor once told me that our career paths could be divided into thirds. The top-third is great and wonderful. We are getting promoted, doing great work, and loving everything we get to do with our jobs. The bottom-third is when our career sucks. We dread going to work, but we find a way to get through it. And the middle-third is where it’s neither great nor awful. We just get to hang out in the middle as we figure out whatever is next. Nothing is permanent. If you don’t like where your career is going, change it. Because you are in complete control of where your career is headed, you are never stuck.  

Tip #3 – Be Kind – Even When It’s Difficult

Let’s acknowledge that most of these conversations are coming from a good place. They mean well, but the packaging and delivery can sometimes be all off. Nobody is perfect. When they say something that hits a nerve, get curious. Take a breath and say, “I’m curious. What did you mean by that?” Let them explain where they are coming from – maybe it’s from a different place than you thought. By extending a little grace and showing some kindness, we can listen and diffuse any potential situation that could blow up. It’s the Holidays. Don’t get caught up in someone else’s mind drama.

What Nancy LaMott Taught Me About Kindness

Nancy LaMott is one of my favorite singers.

You probably have never heard of her.

A well-known cabaret singer in the early and mid-90s, Nancy LaMott, had the voice of an angel. When her composer and lyricist, David Friedman, asked her what songs she wanted him to write for her, she told him she wanted songs about kindness. Songs that would lift people up when they were going through hardships and give them a sense of hope and support.

Many have said that Nancy’s career, and her cancer, peaked at the same time.

She passed away on December 13, 1995, and married her love, Peter Zapp, one hour before she passed.

As I understand the story, Nancy’s producer, composer, and lyricist, David Friedman, came to her and asked to write Nancy “Her Song.” This is a huge gift from a composer, and Nancy stated that she wanted him to write a song about giving people hope when they are going through difficult times. David wrote “Help Is On The Way” as well as “We Can Be Kind.” They quickly became Nancy’s signature pieces.

Nancy’s angelic voice and tremendous support for the LGBTQ community were a much-needed voice when we dealt with much hatred and discrimination and were in the throes of the AIDS epidemic.

Nancy’s music always tugs on my heartstrings and reminds me to be a little kinder and never give up hope when things are difficult.

This has been a challenging year. This week all of my travel plans for the Holidays were canceled out of an abundance of caution. Perhaps you can relate.

If you are frustrated with the pandemic and tired, I get it.

If you’re frustrated, your career hasn’t progressed as you hoped. I understand.

If you’re tired of applying for jobs and waiting to be interviewed. Hang in there.

And when people get a little judgmental and ask, “what’s going on with your job?” Or, “Have you found a job yet?” Breathe and remember to be a little kind. Not everything has to escalate. When others choose to be unintentionally or intentionally hurtful, we can SHOW UP and be kind in return.

I took some time to share a few thoughts about my love for Nancy LaMott and how much her music has touched my life. You can listen to this special episode of “The Mid-Career GPS Podcast” by clicking here.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

John

This Week on The Mid-Career GPS Podcast

Tips for Being Organizationally Loyal and Grow Your Career with Theresa McGeehan

I recently sat down with Digital Catalog and Merchandising Manager for Hallmark Cards, Theresa McGeehan.

We talked about how she landed a job at Hallmark right out of college and found ways to grow her career internally through networking and welcoming new opportunities.

Theresa shares how you don’t have to leave your organization to advance your career. Many mid-career professionals find ways to grow their careers and advance within their organizations. The key is working for a company that can provide opportunities for you and knowing how to open doors, network, and create those opportunities.

This episode is for those of you looking to grow your career internally and those of you looking to find the right fit within a company and stay there for a long time.

To listen to my conversation with Theresa McGeehan, click here.

And if you like this episode, kindly share it with someone you know who would benefit from hearing Theresa’s story and other topics on The Mid-Career GPS Podcast.