Thriving Companies Practice Empathy

I cried at work three separate times in 2020: First, when I was fatigued and overwhelmed following a personal loss. Another time when I was grateful for the completion of a project with a coworker, and again when societal issues felt defeating and never-ending. 

I’d never broken down like that on the job in my 27 years of working. 2020 brought out the rawest version of me.

Reliving it knots my stomach. I hated it and felt inexplicably free. 

My grandmother’s cousin famously said, “When I liberate myself, I liberate others.” Those were the words of activist Fannie Lou Hamer. She was fighting a battle of civil rights, equity and fairness. 

For most of 2020, so was I. 

I have been grief-stricken. Elated. Pissed. And optimistic. 

Fannie also said, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.” 

Me too. 

Over the past year, I craved being near people who are understanding at home and at work—people I could connect with deeply and authentically. I needed people who were willing to shed superficial layers to reshape and broaden the spaces we share with trust and two-way dialogue. 

Thankfully, I found them: those who also wanted to provide and receive emotional understanding in what we were feeling, thinking, and experiencing. That is the basic definition of empathy. 

Until I hit that vulnerable place, I didn’t realize how profoundly I longed to be emotionally understood. I saw others liberated to display their humanity and empathy and how it improved our day to day working experiences, but I hadn’t fully appreciated that empathy was the key to unlocking opportunities for me, too, to grow personally and professionally. 

Before long, I realized empathy is vital to how we can all develop, connect—even thrive. 

Thriving Companies Practice Empathy

The workplace is healthier with empathy, and we need it now more than ever. 

Lockdown unlocked my deeper desire to learn more about what others are experiencing and opened my eyes to the many ways our hurried pace can overlook someone else’s emotional signals. When I needed people, they were there for me, and I have renewed my responsibility to show care, support and acknowledgement to others. 

But empathy doesn’t always come easily at work despite its moral and business merit.

Empathy Is Fundamental to Successful Business

Comforting the hurting team member—understanding their pain, their struggle—certainly requires empathy. But we can back up to see that basic empathy—emotionally understanding someone—is essential to core business success.

It’s fundamental to sales, for example. Understanding what the customer needs—better yet, anticipating it and articulating it back—leads to higher commissions.

Creativity abounds in empathetic spaces. Innovation requires the curiosity of someone else’s ideas and the willingness to dig deeper, even when it’s unclear, to help bring a vision to life. 

Ideas require collaboration. And in their earliest stages, how someone receives them, responds, and takes the time to listen and mold them through the empathetic ears of team members makes the difference in what becomes of that embryonic notion. 

I realize just how important it is to be present when on the receiving end of someone else’s ingenuity or be more sensitive to their moment of fragility. By doing so, I am helping to build a thriving company.

As leaders and employees practice empathy in daily interactions, teams work together better, customers build trust, processes smooth out, and creativity explodes.

Empathy Begins with Self-Awareness

Not everyone is skilled at empathy or naturally seeks to emotionally understand others. It has to be developed.

The first step to empathy is self-awareness.

Psychology Today says self empathy requires pausing and acknowledging what is happening to you. 

Start with a simple exercise like sitting quietly for ten seconds and taking deep breaths at least twice a day. Afterwards, ask yourself, “how am I feeling?” Jot down the first few words that come to mind. 

At the end of the work day, come back to it and reflect on what was taking place and why, to understand your own patterns. Altogether this will take no more than two minutes in your day, though sitting still for a few moments may feel like an eternity. Be gentle with yourself on the days you’re not your best. 

Connecting with Others through Understanding

By learning to connect with and show grace to yourself, you’ve approached the first step of extending it to others. According to Greater Good magazine, published by the University of California, one of the habits of highly empathetic people is exploring their commonalities with others. 

When we find those connections, we show our colleagues that we are invested in their well-being. This looks different for everyone, but we can view every connection as a chance to practice empathy with three steps:

1. Initiate conversations beyond the small talk. After a year-and-a-half spent peering at each other’s children, pets, and home updates, it’s time to raise the stakes. We have exhausted every email greeting that hopes to find its recipient well. It’s polite to ask about weekends and weather, but superficial questions whose answer we aren’t really interested in won’t enable us to deepen our connections. Instead, check on those remodeling projects or friends and family (by name). Set out to remember details from one conversation to the next, even if it requires taking a few simple notes. This shows you care and you’re building trust. To gain a sincere appreciation for our partners at work, we must learn to prioritize more meaningful exchanges. 
2. Practice deep listening. Deep listening goes beyond what’s being said, to appreciate the speaker’s tone, mood, and life experiences. Often, we don’t take the time to absorb these conversation nuances during our rushed exchanges. We wait for our turn to speak or mentally write our grocery list, rather than being present in the moment. We can develop empathy by respecting the person’s desire to share and giving the gift of our full attention. Purposeful listening aspires to learn more about the speaker and the context that shapes their message. 
3. Get uncomfortable. As we begin to emerge from our collective isolation, the road to reconnection is bound to be littered with missteps. For many of us, the thought of deeper, vulnerable conversations will produce anxiety. Letting your guard down is hard, but the other person is likely experiencing similar feelings. There will be lots of instances where stepping out of our comfort zone will give us pause. Do it anyway. One step at a time. 

I’m optimistic that we will endeavor to grant each other more emotional and cognitive understanding, and I hope we’ll be willing to push ourselves even further—to empathize. In 2020, I learned of my need to receive empathy and my need to practice it. It’s transforming the way I live and work.

I hope you join me. In doing so, we will find ourselves liberated, thriving and thrilled to contribute to a company culture that embraces empathy as a value and encourages its people to reach out and connect—to embrace those who long to be understood.

The views expressed are my own and are not intended to represent my past or current employers.