Thursday's Leadership Insight: The Power of Relationship in Your Leadership Practice – Empathy

"Leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of those in your charge."

                                     Simon Sinek

Leadership is about building people up and getting things done. To do both, an effective leader must practice leadership and empathy. Empathy and Leadership are critical to any organization's success, yet they are misunderstood. Leadership is often confused with "Bossship, "where a "naturally gifted superior person "tells people what to do. Empathy is often thought to be a soft skill and to be sympathy. Leadership is about connection and relationship-making based on a belief in the value of people and clearly showing and communicating a vision and purpose of service.

Empathy is not sympathy or weakness, as a retired U.S. Army General notes. Stanley McChrystal, who recently explained in an English Military Review article Empathetic Leadership Understanding the Human Domain by Chaplain (Maj.) John McDougall, U.S. Army, "Empathy is not sympathy. It doesn't mean that you rub [your soldiers'] bellies and ask them how they feel every morning. What it means is that you can see [the situation] through their eyes. " Military leaders must not confuse empathy with "going soft." The goal is to learn what motivates a person or group. No matter how gruff, what leader could honestly say, "I don't want to understand my soldiers or environment better"? While sincere concern and compassion may occur as a by-product, empathy is about gaining understanding, not generating personal feelings.

.Empathy is, as former Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman and retired U.S. Army Gen. Martin Dempsey asserted, an important acquirable skill: "Effective Leaders have a sense of empathy. They listen. In listening, they learn. In learning, they become empathetic." Like other critical leadership skills, we will grow empathy as we practice it. Is there another profession that needs to grasp the complex human domain more than the military, where trust is our currency and lives hang on our decisions?"

It may seem odd to cite military sector leaders; however, their thoughts address the other major misconception common to leadership and empathy that they are both nouns. The actions of a leader to listen and empathize will save lives and are especially crucial in volatile, uncertain, complex situations or V.U.C.A.times. Any leader in any organization knows they are in V.U.C.A.times. Leadership and empathy are also often considered nouns. Leadership and empathy both require action. Merriman Webster labels empathy as a noun yet defines it as "an action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another." Empathy and leadership share many common factors, yet the most important thing is that both can be learned. The other commonality of these terms is that they are the main forces that bring vision, understanding, certainty, and agility to any organization. At this time, empathy in leadership relationships is a vital factor in sustained success.

This Thursday's leadership insight describes empathy and what empathy looks like in one's leadership and shares five benefits of a leadership practice of empathy for any organization.

What is empathy in leadership?

Merriman Webster defines empathy as an action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another. In a Harvard Business Review article, What We Get Wrong About Empathic Leadership  , Olga Valadon writes, "Empathy is the ability to show compassion for another person without personally relating to them through firsthand experience. For a manager, it means putting yourself in someone else's shoes to understand where they're coming from, share that you understand, and thoughtfully respond to their feelings, thoughts, and circumstances."

Below are behaviors demonstrated by leaders who practice empathy

1.   Practice adding value to all people and their perspectives

A leader demonstrates empathy by asking people how they are doing before asking what they are doing. Caring about what people care about raises connections and builds relationships.

2. Practice Present Listening

Make space to be present in the discussion, whether it is a work concern or their grandson's football game

3. Practice being a curious learner. Use the  A.S.K.model to understand perspectives

The leader developing empathy understands that with up to five generations in an organization plus various racial and gender perspectives, there is much to be taught and much to be learned. Questions they use are based on the A.S..K. model are Always Seeking Knowledge that will keep communication ongoing.

4.   Practice Radical Candor

.           The empathic leader must be, as Tim Elmore says in A New Kind of Diversity, "Timely, "current with changes, and "Timeless" about the organization's core values. The empathic leader stresses that people may have political, social, and economic disagreements, yet disrespect is unacceptable by anyone to anyone. Truth in feedback or evaluation is based on serving, not belittling.

5.   Practice being present  and available

The empathic leader takes time to connect with the organization's members as much as possible. In a recent presentation for the Corporate Facilitator's group at the Maxwell International conference, Joel Manby, credited with the turnaround of SeaWorld Parks and Entertainment, noted he had several "Brown Bag "lunch meetings with all departments to listen, learn, and respond to concerns during the turnaround. Being present means being there for those you lead in good and bad times.

There are (at least) five major benefits of developing empathy in one's leadership practice.

"You can not give what you do not have."

John Maxwell

1. Expand one's leadership practice

Empathy is a skill like leadership that can be learned and modeled. Empathy must first be learned inside and outside the leader to be part of one's leadership practice. Empathy is part of several tenets John Maxwell cites in High Road Leadership. to be released (April). He notes the tenants of emotional capacity, valuing all people, and living by the bigger picture, which requires leaders to continually develop empathy in their practice. Maxwell notes empathy is essential for the leader first, then to share, saying, "You can not give what you do not have. "

"The most powerful leadership tool you have is your personal example."

John Wooden

2. Empathy expands and models  respect and value for all people in the organization

In a 2023 Forbes article, The Importance Of Empathy In Leadership: How To Lead With Compassion And Understanding In 2023, Kara Denissionn writes empathy in leadership isn't just about spreading joy and positivity. It's also about leading others to feel empathy towards themselves as much as they do each other."Legendary basketball coach John Wooden often said, "The most powerful leadership tool you have is your personal example."

3. Empathy expands psychological safety throughout the organization

Kara Denissionn writes in the article noted above that "Empathetic work cultures encourage positive feedback, recognition, and consistent appreciation. When people feel regularly valued, they feel part of a workplace community. Healthy workplace communities make everyday habits out of praising and offering gratitude." Psychological safety is a powerful force  for any organization

 4. Empathy expands learning and creativity

Leaders who learn and practice empathy expand learning and creativity by inviting various perspectives. HANNAH L. MILLER of Leaders Media writes in  Why Empathetic Leadership Is the Most Effective Leadership Style, describing how Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple, exemplifies how a leader can learn to be empathic in their leadership. Colleague Ed Catmull wrote in   Creativity Inc. that after Jobs got fired from Apple in 1985, this all-time low caused him to grow into someone who practiced empathetic leadership. When he returned to Apple in 1997, he was the transformational yet more emotionally intelligent leader the company needed. Catmull stated, "Jobs would agree. As he explained in his famous Stanford commencement address, "I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me . . . It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it."As Jobs' example demonstrates, practicing this type of leadership is a win-win situation on multiple fronts. For instance, research conducted by Businessolver found that 70 percent of employees feel empathy in leadership leads to lower turnover rates, while 76 percent think empathy drives productivity. When you are an empathetic executive, you develop strong relationships with your employees, grow your organization, and create a legacy you can be proud of in the process. '. 

5 Empathy drives engagement and productivity

The practice of empathy is more than feel-good moments. The intentional practice of empathy drives engagement and productivity. Bill Gentry, writing for the Center for Creative Leadership in 2023, The Importance of Empathy in the Workplace, writes, "Companies must hire and develop more effective managers and leaders capable of moving their organization forward during good and challenging times. That requires looking beyond traditional strategies for management development and cultivating the skills most important for success. One of those skills, perhaps unexpectedly, is empathy — a vital leadership competency. To determine if empathy influences a manager's job performance, we analyzed data from 6,731 mid- to upper-middle-level managers in 38 countries. The leaders in our study were rated on their level of empathy, as measured by our Benchmarks® 360-degree feedback assessment.

As noted in our white paper, we found that empathy in the workplace is positively related to job performance. Our research found that their bosses viewed managers who practiced empathetic leadership toward direct reports as better performers. The findings were consistent across the sample: those managers who were rated as empathetic by subordinates were also rated as high performing by their own boss." Gentry further notes, "Empathy in the workplace context simply means that your people can establish true, empathetic connections with one another that enhance relationships and performance."

 The leadership practice of empathy is especially needed today in our "leadersad "world. The practice of empathy by leaders can bridge gaps, make connections, and model how people can disagree and not be disagreeable. Some organizations have seized on the power of empathy to build relationships and get things done. Alain Hunkins, writing for Forbes in Why Leading With Empathy Is More Important Than Ever reports on remarks by Lorraine Harlton of Catylst." On the importance of empathy in leadership. In their research on the power of empathy, Catalyst shares that "empathy is an important driver of employee outcomes such as innovation, engagement, and inclusion—especially in times of crisis. In short, empathy is a must-have in today's workplace." The leadership practice of empathy is crucial in any organization. Today, more than ever.

The leadership question for you then is;

1. Will you choose to be an empathic leader?