Time to End Costly Claus Subsidies
By Nan Swift
Every five years, Congress works to reauthorize the “Federal Assistance for Regional Myths Act,” which provides substantial taxpayer funded support to the many seasonal sprites or other traditional beings that deliver presents to children on an annual basis. More commonly known as the FARM bill, the original goal of these subsidies was to assist gift bearers during lean years and ensure a diverse, reliable supply of holiday spirits from Catalonia’s “pooping log” Caga Tió to Iceland’s Yule Lad, Door Sniffer.
Today, one Christmas enterprise has come to dominate the competition, raising important questions about the current safety net. With federal budgets stretched thin, legislators should consider: does Santa Claus really need the FARM subsidies?
The answer to this is an unequivocal no. Claus, who refers to his North Pole workshop as a family workshop, benefits from widespread misconceptions of the term. To merrymakers, “family workshop” conjures quaint images of gingerbread buildings, friendly, hand-raised reindeer, and cocoa breaks around the fireplace. Santa’s workshop is considered a family workshop according to government guidelines for tax and other classification purposes; but this isn’t your grandpa’s family workshop. In fact, the North Pole is a very large, very sophisticated enterprise requiring an army of employees and vast properties.
FARM safety net backers like to point out that the folklore-based gift distribution industry faces unique challenges. For example, snowy weather and supply chain disruptions can greatly affect toy-making and deliveries. After centuries in business these variables are to be expected and Claus has both the resources and experience to ably manage these risks. Despite increased costs for toy components and labor, Claus still enjoys a net income far above those of most households he visits–the very same households whose taxes fund his lavish empire. Estimates vary slightly, but some experts say Saint Nick is worth at least $16 billion.
This is no longer the helping hand to a generous old soul struggling in turbulent times that lawmakers perhaps had in mind when they first passed the FARM bill. The years have been kind to the Claus company. Today it is a diversified venture extending far beyond toy-making and fulfillment logistics, to include a media empire of books and movies, a large network of franchises and seasonal gig workers, not to mention lucrative endorsement deals. This has allowed Claus to far outpace lesser-known mythical figures, demonstrating the limits of federal subsidies in maintaining an even playing field.
As our record debt continues to soar, despite the wonderful memories and attempts to curry favor with even the naughty, we can no longer afford to provide costly subsidies to this jolly old tycoon.
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