Today, You Are Not A Victim

Trauma is real. Pain is real. PTSD is real...but, so is healing.

So many of us decide to define ourselves as victims, because we refuse to let go of the pain. We think about it, talk about it and relive it daily. And when we are consumed by the pain, we allow no room for healing. And while trauma can be a life long emotion, it should not be our defining emotion. There are tools to get better. Yes, it is a process, and not everyone will make it back. But on the road to recovery, every advantage you can take is significant. So take them.

I am not a psychologist. But after spending 35 years working in mental health, almost my entire inner circle comes from a mental health background. And very few would disagree about the power that each one of us has. The human mind {and body} is capable of doing remarkable things. But what it can't do, is override a day in day out programming of the trauma. We have got to train ourselves to move through it. Talking about it non stop takes a situation that already feels like a 100 pounds, and makes it feel like 300 pounds. We're just adding weight to the long road to recovery.

Talking about our problems can be very therapeutic. The problem with talking about those problems, is that the more we speak about it, the bigger it becomes. Set aside time in a safe environment to vent. Therapy, support groups and a strong social circle will help. What wont, is using words that don't empower you, or talking about it in a non safe environment. Because sometimes some well meaning people, say something that can set you back or trigger you. Know the players. Know the environment. 

 Your biggest asset is the language you use. The power of saying "I am", is a game changer. So make sure it is followed by something empowering. And while you're at it, drop the hate. Perhaps the most profound words I've heard on the subject come compliments from the Buddha. He said "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You have a say in your story. You are the author. Write accordingly. 

You may have been victimized. But today, you are not a victim. Your story begins with this moment and the words "I am". Now ask yourself, "What are you today?"