Asking questions is the key to being a good conversationalist, learner, and leader. Here are my favorite prompts:
- Tell me more. (this is the superpower follow-up to every question and you can say it multiple times in a row to dig deeper)
- What’s something (or someone) you’re grateful for? (sharing gratitude is proven to increase happiness and connection. My family does this every night at dinner, and it spurs excellent conversation.)
- What do you think about _______?
- What else could we do?
- Why?
- What’s your highlight this last year? (good icebreaker)
- What are you looking forward to in the next six months? (follow-up to icebreaker)
- If you had the opportunity to redo ______, knowing what you know now, what would you do to make it even better? (great debrief question that takes defensiveness and emotion out of the post-mortem exercise – hat tip to Lee Brower)
- Have you thought about __________?
- What if ______________?
Bonus for any request or negotiation: How do you expect me to do that? (amazing jujitsu to get them negotiating against themselves without you making them defensive, from the book Never Split the Difference)
If this list is too long for you to memorize, start with adding “tell me more” every day at home and work. I guarantee it will change your life.
Entrepreneur - Last Exit in May 2023 - Tinkering on Several Ideas
3yKordel - You're right - tone and body language matter when you say "How do you expect me to do that?" It needs to be delivered as a sincere question, almost with a playful/inquisitive tone where your voice goes up at the end. It won't work if you use it as more of an aggressive statement than an honest question.
Associate Vice President and Senior Traffic Engineer at AECOM
3yGreat list! I am curious about the bonus question. Seems like it could be off-putting with the wrong tone. Curious how it's worked for you.