Top 10 Questions to Test Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions while staying attuned (= sensitive) to others’ feelings. Testing your EI doesn’t require a formal quiz — it starts with honest self-reflection.

These 10 questions can help, along with examples of what emotionally intelligent answers might look like.

1. How do you handle constructive criticism?

Emotionally intelligent people always see feedback as an opportunity to grow. When someone critiques your work, do you feel defensive or see it as an opportunity to improve? Reflect on the last time this happened and how you responded. If you possess good emotional intelligence, your answer may look something like this:

“When my manager pointed out that my presentation lacked clarity, I initially felt defensive. However, I paused, thanked them for the feedback, and later reviewed their suggestions. I incorporated the changes, and my next presentation was much better received.”

2. Can you sense when someone is upset, even if they don’t say it outright?

Think about a time when a colleague said they were “fine,” but you could tell something was off. What did you notice, and how did you respond? A good answer may look like this:

“I noticed a colleague was unusually quiet during a meeting and avoided eye contact. I approached them afterward and said, ‘You seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?’ They appreciated the check-in and confided in me about a personal issue they were dealing with.”

3. How do you manage stress in high-pressure situations?

Emotionally intelligent people are in tune with their emotions. When stress begins to build up, they recognize it early and understand the impact it’s having on them. This self-awareness allows them to take action before stress becomes overwhelming.

Consider a time when a deadline or workload felt overwhelming. How did you handle it? If you possess good emotional intelligence, your answer may look something like this:

“When I was juggling multiple deadlines, I broke my tasks into smaller steps and prioritized what needed immediate attention. I also reminded myself to take breaks to avoid burnout, which kept me focused and productive.”

4. Do you adapt your communication style to different people?

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and can adapt to different communication settings and cultural contexts. They recognize that what works with one person may not work with another, and they adjust their approach accordingly.

Reflect on how you communicate with a colleague versus a client from a different culture. Do you adjust your tone and approach? You may want to say something like this:

“When explaining a technical process to a non-technical client last time, I avoided jargon and used simple examples to help them understand. On the other hand, when speaking with my team, I used more detailed explanations since they were familiar with the terminology.”

5. When was the last time you admitted a mistake?

As an emotionally intelligent person, you shouldn’t shy away from mistakes or failures. Think of these things as learning opportunities instead.

Think of a situation where you were wrong. How did you take responsibility? You could say:

“I once sent an outdated version of a presentation to a client. As soon as I realized it, I explained the mix-up and sent the correct version. The client appreciated my honesty, and the situation didn’t escalate further.”

6. How do you react when someone disagrees with you?

Having a high EQ means being able to handle disagreement in a calm-headed way, without getting upset or defensive.

In a recent disagreement, did you listen to the other person’s perspective or focus on proving your point? If you possess good emotional intelligence, your answer may look something like this:

“During a meeting, a colleague challenged my proposal. Instead of getting defensive, I asked them to explain their perspective. It turned out they had some valuable points, and we ended up combining ideas for a stronger solution.”

7. Do you take time to understand your emotions before acting?

Taking time to understand your emotions is important because it helps you respond thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively. Recall a moment when you felt frustrated or angry. Did you pause to process your feelings before responding? If you’re in control of your emotions, you may say something like this:

“After a difficult conversation with my manager, I felt frustrated. Instead of reacting immediately, I stepped away to clear my mind and reflect on the feedback. Later, I followed up with clarifying questions, which led to a more constructive discussion.”

8. How do you show empathy in tough conversations?

In conflict situations, emotional intelligence helps you manage tension by staying calm and empathetic. By actively listening and acknowledging the other person’s feelings, you can de-escalate the situation and work towards a solution that benefits everyone.

Think of a time someone confided in you about a tough issue. How did you respond? You may say:

“When I noticed that one of my colleagues seemed emotionally affected by the feedback they were getting, I asked them questions and clarified that the feedback was not meant as a personal attack. They told me later that my support meant a lot to them.”

9. Can you identify patterns in your emotional triggers?

Some people might feel stressed when they have to speak in public, while others may get frustrated when they feel misunderstood in conversations. Understanding these triggers can help you become more aware of areas for growth as well as signal the need for potential lifestyle or career changes.

Reflect on situations that often upset or annoy you. Have you noticed recurring themes, and how do you handle them?

Your answer may look something like this:

“I’ve noticed I get irritated when I’m interrupted during meetings. Now, instead of snapping, I calmly say, ‘Can I finish my point first?’ It helps me manage my frustration while keeping the conversation productive.”

10. How do you celebrate others’ successes?

Finally, emotional intelligence is about spreading a positive influence and being encouraged by other people’s success.

Ask yourself, when a colleague or friend achieves something big, do you genuinely celebrate their success or compare it to your own? You may say:

“When my colleague got promoted, I congratulated them in person and even wrote a note highlighting their hard work. I felt genuinely happy for them and didn’t let comparison get in the way of celebrating their success.”

Wondering how you can improve your emotional intelligence and other core soft skills? Check out our Power Skills For Work course.