Top 5 Leadership Lessons from Daring Greatly

Recently finished reading "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown - one of the renowned researcher in studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. To be honest, it was nothing similar to reading any usual leadership or self-improvement book, rather it challenges some of the core beliefs and basic paradigms we live our life with.

When it comes to leading an engineering or any organization, I believe our personal beliefs & way of living shapes our leadership style. While each leader has his or her leadership style, but we need to continuously adapt and learn as we progress. I have summarized key leadership lessons learned while going through my journey through this book:

#1 - Being vulnerable is natural

Vulnerability is being uncertain, taking risks, and sharing emotional experiences. As a leader, often it has been perceived that you need to exhibit certain types of behaviors:

• Always emerge as a strong figure
• Don't show your emotional side to the team
• Don't ask for help (considered as a sign of weakness)

These are all considered as myths, and many stories shared indicates that "being vulnerable is natural" - it helps to connect with your team. Your team will be able to understand you and will consider you as an authentic leader.

MYTH: I don't do vulnerability

#2 - No shame in sharing your failures or fears

Shame resilience is another aspect though related to vulnerability, which has been taught to us since childhood. Understanding and combating shame is not easy as:

• Talking about your failures and mistakes exposes your vulnerabilities
• If self-worth isn't on the line, we are far more courageous

MYTH: If they love it, you are worthy; if they don't, you are worthless

Speaking about your failures, talking about your shape with your colleagues, and reaching out to your trustworthy people for help is normal and there is no shame as a leader to do that. Talking about these experiences make you more authentic, and helps you to be more approachable to your team.

#3 - Humanize your workplace

Challenge: You are never enough...

Common challenges like:

1. You are never enough to be a good manager unless you do a leadership course
2. You are never enough to be a good programmer unless you talk to everybody about your achievements
3. You are never enough to be a leader unless you hold a particular title

Though we live in a culture, where there are many such "never enough" statements, as a leader, we need to enable people to come out of it. As shared as an example:

Most people & organizations can't stand uncertainty and the risk of real innovation. There's never enough certainty - something related to fear keeps people from going for it.

As a leader our job is to humanize the workplace - let people share their failures, let them take risks, let them be vulnerable - not easy to do but building that culture makes a huge difference.

#4 - Perfectionism does not exist

To Err Is Human

Not being a perfectionist is one of the most difficult parts to digest - we have always been taught that "Be Perfect". Perfectionism is :

• Not the same thing as striving for excellence or achievement & growth
• Not the same thing as self-improvement, and not the key to success

Perfectionism is self-destructive - it is an unattainable goal we are trying for

As a leader appreciate the beauty of mistakes by the team - that shows that they are learning and innovating.

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets i - Leonard Cohen

#5 - Be authentic

Finally, as a leader be authentic by following the path of mindfulness, wholeheartedness, being vulnerable, humanizing the workplace, avoiding shame resilience, is an eventual goal.

Being authentic is also about demonstrating the behavior & traits you are asking your team to follow. If you are asking your team lead to listen to the concerns of others, but not listening to what he or she has to say - that's not being authentic.

We should dare to be the leaders we want our people to be - don't preach what you can't follow yourself

To conclude, it is not going to be an easy path to challenge the beliefs and our leadership style, but isn't starting your journey on that path is truly "Daring Greatly"!