Treat Yourself the Way You Want Others to Be Treated

We all know the golden rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Showing people kindness and compassion is undoubtedly a foundational principle that we must instill in our children and remember ourselves. We could all stand to be a little kinder, a little more patient, a little more courteous. Especially in medical facilities, where staff are often overworked and patients are feeling ill and anxious, I know that tempers can flare, and our manners can be neglected.

However, in my experience, most people are good people who act respectfully to those around them and want to live in a society where all people are given grace and goodwill. Just as we remind ourselves to treat others with courtesy, we must remember to show ourselves the same kindness. As we recognize World Mental Health Day today, perhaps it is time to create a new golden rule: Treat yourself the way you want others to be treated.

The pandemic exacerbated what was already a growing global mental health crisis. Around the world, people are suffering from anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues at unprecedented rates. The reasons for the rise are complex and multifaceted. Mental health issues are a growing concern across demographics, affecting all people of all ages and backgrounds. We should, of course, study demographic data to identify disparities and target interventions where they are needed most. However, it is important to recognize that this problem defies simple explanations or solutions.

Despite the alarming trends, there is reason for optimism. More people are seeking treatment for their mental health than ever before. As an American and global society, we are talking about mental illness more than we ever have. And it is reasonable to see a positive aspect to the increasing rates of mental illness. Perhaps, in part, we are reporting higher rates of anxiety and depression because we are doing a better job of looking for people who are suffering from these conditions.

Nevertheless, upwards of 70% of people with mental illness are not receiving the medical support they need, according to research from the National Institutes of Health. A big reason why remains the stigma around mental illness and the false belief that people shouldn’t ask for help, that we are supposed to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps, no matter how far we have sunk or what is weighing us down.

I have seen it numerous times in my personal life and in my career in the health care field: People are quick to recommend that other people should seek help while refusing to seek help themselves.

This point hits home most painfully for me when we look at our health care workforce. Frontline health care staff report higher rates of stress, burnout, anxiety, and depression. These problems existed before the pandemic, although they have been made worse since the onset of COVID-19 and the persistent strain on our health care industry. From fearing for their personal safety to being overworked in a high-stress, high-stakes environment, our frontline workers are bearing too much on their shoulders without support. We must do more to ensure that our health care workers are addressing their mental health needs.

Alarmingly, research by the American Psychiatry Association in 2018 has revealed that doctors are dying by suicide at twice the rate of the general population. In all likelihood, this trend has either remained the same or worsened since the pandemic. Physicians, individuals who devote so much of their lives to caring for others, who exhaust so much of their energy identifying and treating the needs of those who seek their help, are not treating themselves with the same dignity they show their patients. Too often, doctors who provide such critical care and encourage others to get help are not seeking the support they need themselves.

A high-functioning society requires all people to treat one another with respect. However, it also demands that we treat ourselves with the same levels of kindness that we are expected to extend to others. Let us celebrate World Mental Health Day this year by committing to get ourselves the help we need for whatever challenges we might be dealing with. There is nothing in life that we must accomplish alone, and there is never any shame in seeking help and support.