Tried and True Clichés, or Are They: Why Your Favorite Sayings Might Actually Be Holding You Back

Have you ever thought about the mantras, affirmations, and cliché sayings we tend to mumble to ourselves or proclaim out loud? These maxims for how we are suppose to live our lives. Think about it for a minute, from an early age, we get taught these sing-song types of mottos and expressions.

Whether by our parents, grandparents, teachers, friends, or the media, we are given constant reminders of these adages that have stood the test of time. They been handed down, generation after generation. 

And, I wonder, have you ever stopped to explore if they are creating the energy and meaning you really want? 

Because, let’s face it … words have power.

And, more times than you might think, we are not being intentional with the words we choose and the vibrational frequency we are actually creating, as a result. When we become more present to the words we say, we open up access to manifest more of what we desire, as we are aligned to the right frequency of the very things we want to call in. 

There are three phrases I want to deconstruct to illustrate what I mean. 

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

This used to be my personal mantra growing up. It was my rally cry. That is until I really begin to understand the power of my own words.

Over the years, I have spent a great deal of time delving deep into the study of neuro linguistic programming (NLP), as words and language have always fascinated me. Perhaps, it’s the nerdy girl in me, but I love to know the origin, or etymology of words, how language came to be, and the traditional and energetic meanings we associate with the words we use. 

In that exploration, I have come to realize that often the words we use don’t have the meaning we think they do when speaking them. We use catch-all phrases and water-down slang rather than being mindful of our words.

See, our mind doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined. The mind only knows what we tell it over and over, creating the foundation for what we believe to be true. It pays attention to the things we focus on and what we give energy to, including the words we choose.

When we say, “where there’s a will, there’s a way,” we state unconsciously and imply that somehow control lives outside us. Hear me out. I want you to really think about the phrase, “there’s a way.” 

There’s a way: meaning when the stars align, or when I can control this or that, or when someone else deems me worthy and gives me permission, then I can access or do that thing. It’s an this than that equation. Indicating we need to rely on things outside ourselves and our own control.

We play a waiting game. We wait until all our ducks are in a row. I don’t about you, but ducks aren’t even in the same pond, let alone in a row. And, I’m pretty sure one of my ducks is actually a rooster. 

So, instead, I want you to try this on: “Where there’s a will, there’s me.”

Oooh, that feels so much juicier, doesn’t it? For, where there’s a will, there is me … and, there is you. Alluding to the fact that you are in control. 

Think about it, whenever you have declared something to be so, you have usually brought that to you. It’s only been in your knowing that something was for you, whether a job, a partner, or a dream opportunity, you have been able to call that in by being the energetic match to it. 

When I tell myself, “Where there’s a will, there’s me,” I find myself fired up, inspired and motivated, to take the action that feels aligned to what I really want. I do the things I need in order to raise my vibration. I get clear on what direction and inspired steps to take. And, inevitable I bring it to me. 

The only times when that doesn’t happen is because the Universe is saying: not yet, this isn’t good for you, or I have something better in store for you.

The probability of bringing what you want when you align yourself to the energy that matches that which you want to call in, is heightened. 

So, I’ve changed my mantra to be: “Where there’s a will, there’s ME!”

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

Ah, this phrase truly is the epitome of setting us up for the ultimate cop out, where we get to shirk our responsibility, and even find ourselves spiritual bypassing what we need to face.

We create this constant narrative around suffering and playing the victim. 

When things get tough, we want to bail. We run away, we hide, or we play dumb to the truth standing in front of us. We allow ourselves a pass to face the hard stuff versus exploring it with compassion, curiosity, and grace. 

When we do this, we miss the opportunity to unearth that which wants to present. We let emotions fester or we stuff them down. We don’t take the care and time to understand what the “tough” is trying to teach us or offer us. We dismiss the nudges and simply pray for it to go away. 

What we don’t realize is that we are inclined to miss the gift inside the “tough” in those instances. It’s not about going when the going gets tough, but rather, it’s about staying. It’s about being with it and observing it as a witness. We can learn so much from what feels hard and what triggers us. 

Yet, we have to slow down long enough to be with it. 

So, I offer that instead of chanting, “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going,” that we change our maxim to be: “When the going gets tough, the tough get curious and choses to lean in.”

Or: “When the going gets tough, the tough stays put and just allows it to be.”

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

This mantra is one I personally despise. As a Manifesting Generator, part of my Soul Curriculum is to experience a LOT. So, this saying has has been the broken record that has played on repeat, time after time, to the point that all I hear now are the scratch marks.

In fact, if you have either a Line 3 or Line 6 in your Human Design profile, you likely have the same reaction to this mantra as I do. It can be super infuriating when people constantly throw the mighty, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” in your face. 

It gets used as a motivation strategy to build character. When, in actuality, it often backfires and does just the opposite. First, because motivation is an intrinsic choice, and second, because it tends to feel obligatory and heavy. 

At this point in my life, I’ve gotten to where I’m like, “I’m good … I’m strong enough and have built enough character.”

Again, we play a narrative that amplifies our need for suffering and to play the victim. What if life didn’t have to be so dman hard? Why do we seek those things that feel extra challenging and difficult? 

Imagine if instead of exclaiming the tired mantra of “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” we choose something more empowering.

Something along the lines of: “Life is happening for me and with me. It’s fun and easy. I am fully supported and this too shall pass.”

Making Lemonade

It would do us good to get really present in how we communicate and with the words we choose. Through being more intentional, we can create the energetic vibration that is truly aligned with what we want to call in. 

When life throws you lemons … throw the damn things back. I mean, I don’t even like lemonade. If life throws me lemons, I tossing them back and asking for what I want. It’s that simple. 

If life keeps throwing lemons at you, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate what has you attracting all those lemons. Unless you really want lemonade, you can change the phrases and words you use for your mantras to ones that feel more empowered, enlightened, and expansive … where you easily can attract more abundance, peace, joy, and fulfillment instead. 

Because, I know for me, there are far more things I want to attract to me than a stockpile of lemons. How about you?

If you’d like to explore this perspective further, be sure to grab a copy of my book: You Empowered Strong: Infinite Possibilities in the Power of YES