This is true for new managers, who think that they need to be liked by everyone, in order to be a good leader.

This is true for new managers, who think that they need to be liked by everyone, in order to be a good leader. It’s quite common and comes under us human’s natural tendency of being liked and praised by everyone.

Being a leader you want to win everyone’s approval, keep them happy and demonstrate all the desirable attributes of a great boss.

Leadership is challenging. It often requires us to act against our natural instincts, and we frequently face the risk of not being liked by the majority.

Overcoming this psychological hurdle is tough, but the core responsibility is to achieve results. To do so, you'll need to make decisions that won't always be popular, which requires becoming comfortable with conflict.

In my experience as an executive coach, I’ve had the opportunity to coach and mentor leaders at all levels, many of whom were able to overcome conflict aversion to become stronger, more confident leaders.

Here is what I have to advice you:

Addressing Conflict

Start with your own team. If you can excel at giving one-on-one feedback—whether positive or negative—everything else will naturally fall into place.

A high-performing team is built on high-performing individuals. To bring out the best in each person, you'll need to have numerous direct, honest, and empathetic conversations. Some leaders struggle with this, avoiding confrontation for years until it becomes impossible to overlook. This avoidance can ruin careers, as I've seen it derail many otherwise talented individuals.

However, if you communicate with compassion, your team will know you have their best interests at heart. Building trust through this connection is essential, and when people trust and respect you, there's no conversation you can't have with them. This mutual ability to engage in open dialogue will form the foundation of your team's collective success.

The five lenses below can help shift your mindset and inspire you to start a difficult conversation with a team member. Next time you hesitate, use them as a reminder of why overcoming your fears is essential. This is the first step in developing a key leadership trait: the willingness to tackle tough issues when needed.

Lens #1: Duty of care

Your team deserves competent leadership. You are responsible for their physical and mental wellbeing. By stepping into their shoes, your duty of care will outweigh the fear of giving critical feedback.

Lens #2: Results require a high-performing team

You can't drive results with a subpar team. Strong leaders prioritize building capability and performance, even if it means confronting discomfort when delivering constructive feedback.

Lens #3: People deserve the chance to improve

Avoiding feedback robs your team of growth opportunities. Honest feedback, even if uncomfortable, can change the course of someone’s career.

Lens #4: Everyone sees the weak links

Unchecked poor performance damages the culture. Top performers disengage, and mediocrity takes over. Tolerating poor performance marks you as a weak leader.

Lens #5: If you need to let someone go

If someone isn't meeting the standard, sometimes you need to let them go. Before making this tough call, ensure you’ve done everything to help them improve by providing timely feedback.

As you approach these conversations, remember: you can't please everyone, and the sooner you accept this, the better.

Every decision, including tough feedback, will have its critics.

As a leader, listen to others and give them the respect you expect, but ultimately, make the decision you believe is right. While it may feel unsettling when not everyone agrees, it's freeing to know that pleasing everyone isn't the goal — doing what's right is.

Popularity doesn't matter; doing the right thing does.