(TSE #035) - Memento Mori – Embrace life

Last Friday, I attended a funeral.

The funeral was for one of the Mums at my daughter’s primary school. She was 47 years of age and left behind two beautiful children, aged 11 and 9 respectively, and a loving husband.

I sat in the church, overwhelmed by the briefness of her life, and it dawned on me that life is fleeting and each one of us is only here for a relatively short period of time, no matter how long we live.

I heard the hymns play softly in the background as the Priest gave his homily and it struck me that none of us know when our time will come.

Today’s article is not intended to be macabre or depressing, but rather reflective and invigorating to encourage awareness. It will be short, and I hope there is at least one little nugget you can take away and ponder that may help provide perspective in your life.

As I sat in the church, I was reminded of the ancient Stoic practice of “Memento Mori” – which translates to “remember, you too will die”.

If there is one thing I hope you take from today’s article, it is to live life to the fullest and take nothing for granted.

As the husband said during his heartfelt eulogy at the funeral, “The next time you think about going out for dinner but say you’re too tired – just go. You never know what tomorrow has in store for you.”

The Practice of Memento Mori

Memento Mori is the ancient practice of reflecting on your own mortality that goes back to the time of Socrates, who said that the proper practice of philosophy is “about nothing else but dying and being dead.”

Memento Mori, or the idea that “Remember you must die”, isn’t meant to be morbid or promote fear, but instead should be used to inspire, motivate and clarify what is important to you in life.

The idea has been central throughout history to pursuits such as art, philosophy, literature, and architecture, to mention but a few.

Memento Mori is a tool that generations have used to create perspective and urgency, and to assist with prioritisation and focus. Death doesn’t make life pointless but rather purposeful.

Our time in this world is a gift and we should use all our endeavours not to waste it. If you live to 80 years of age, then you are a “time millionaire” as you will have access to 2,522,880,000 seconds in your life.

It’s easy to think that we will live forever, and that change will not happen – but we won’t, and it does. You can use this knowledge as fuel to provide motivation and a sense of priority for what’s important and what you want to achieve with your life.

Decision making – perspective, priority, & meaning

Contemplating or proactively being aware of your mortality is only depressing if you miss the point of the exercise. It is an exercise designed to create perspective, priority and meaning.

The one perennial truth, no matter how much money or status one has, is that we will all die.

Death is the one universal commonality we cannot escape. So why not keep the certainty of death at the forefront of thought?

Why? So that you might really live.

Steve Jobs famously said:

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

I think it is fair to say that very few of us think about death because it’s uncomfortable, sad, scary, and uncertain.

But what if we saw death as being the thing that gives life meaning? What if we saw it as the milestone, right at the end, that helps us make the most of the time we’ve been given?

Would it provide motivation and inspiration to get stuff done?

A well-known Stoic Philosopher, Epictetus, urged his students: “Keep death and exile before your eyes each day, along with everything that seems terrible— by doing so, you’ll never have a base thought, nor will you have excessive desire.”

In other words, remembering that all of us will one day die provides perspective on the important things in life and can help keep you centred. You can use these contemplations as building blocks for living your life to the fullest and not wasting a second.

Some Closing Thoughts

The truth is, we have all been given a fatal diagnosis when it comes to life.

The real question we have to ask ourselves is “What are we going to do with the time we have?”

W.H.O. am I and W.H.O. do I want to be?

Regular readers of my newsletter will know how I love acronyms.

In this case, W.H.O. stands for:

• Why – what is my purpose that drives me? What is it that is burning inside of me?

• How – how am I going to achieve the goals associated with my purpose?

• Outcomes – what is it that I am trying to achieve? Is it money, material success, close relationships, etc?

Keep the notion of Memento Mori with you. Don’t waste your time on trivial, pointless things. Don’t take for granted the time you have.

Embrace failure; accept challenges; learn, iterate, adapt, and succeed.

Have a go in this life, as you never know when your time will be up.

See you next week.

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