The Ultimate Guide to Becoming an Effective Communicator

It is no news that to grow in your career, you need to communicate well. But what does communicating effectively mean, exactly? For communication to be effective, it has to have certain characteristics. Let’s discover them by first analysing ineffective communication.

What not to do: characteristics of ineffective communication

Communication is unsuccessful when:

• you can’t say what you want to say, because you don’t know how to express it
• you say something different from what you truly want to say, generating confusion
• the other person can’t understand what you are saying 
• the other person misunderstands you

This can happen for several reasons:

Using language that is too technical for the occasion

Knowing the technical aspects of your job is one thing, but being able to make others understand what you are saying is another one. Change how you phrase your message according to the interlocutor. Also, remember that the other person can’t read your mind, so make the message as clear as possible.

Being messy

Imagine someone at work tells you: Please, bring me the report I left on my desk, quickly! And their desk looks like this: 

How would you feel? You would probably think: where is the lovely report? Why is this desk so messy? How am I supposed to find the report in this mess so fast? Well, this is what a messy message looks like, and this is how the other person may feel.  Avoid being messy, and embrace tidiness: don’t use unnecessary words and go straight to the point: help the listener find the message quickly.

Not being able to summarise the ideas

This is related to presenting the message in a messy way. Don’t use more words than what you really need. If you need to ask a question, just ask the question. 

Using bad body language

Your posture, facial expressions and eye contact are of great importance. Experts say body language is more important than words. What can you do wrong? 

• Posture: crouching, slouching, folding arms, checking the phone or your watch all the time, showing no interest in what the other person is saying.
• Eye contact: not making eye contact, looking down, not focusing on the other person. 
• Facial expressions: having a bored, confused or angry expression all the time

Being monotonous

The tone of voice is important too. Not varying the tone of voice can turn some people to sleep! Use your voice to keep others’ attention. 

Now that we have seen what makes communication ineffective, let’s see what makes it effective. 

What to do: characteristics of effective communication

Communication is successful when:

• you can say what you want to say, because you know how to express it
• you say exactly what you mean, leaving no room for confusion
• the other person can understand what you are saying 

This can happen for several reasons:

1 - The message is clear

You have a clear objective in mind, and translate it into clear sentences. Here is an example: You want your coworker to stop doing what they are doing to help you solve an issue you can’t fix by yourself and that prevents you from doing anything else.They might be very busy and probably have a lot going on, so be brief and straight to the point: Don’t say: I have this problem that is really driving me crazy. I have tried everything and nothing seems to work. I can’t do anything else if I don’t solve it. When you have a minute, if you have a minute, would you be able, if you don’t mind, to help me? If the other person is busy, don’t waste their time and energy with a sentence like that. Instead, say: I need your help to solve a problem that doesn’t allow me to continue working. This way, you make two things crystal clear: that you want their help, and why. 

2 - You ask questions

This goes hand in hand with listening. Ask questions to make sure you understand what is being said. For example: your coworker says, I need to finish what I’m doing right now, and then I’ll help you.  You can say: So, will you help me when you finish that task? just to confirm. Ask questions to confirm or to check you understood well. 

It is better to ask questions than to think you understood when you actually didn’t. Imagine your boss tells you to do something, you misunderstand it and when you have to deliver the project, you realise it isn’t what you were asked to do. What is worse: to feel a little silly to ask the question when they are telling you what to do, or later when you are done with the wrong task? Always ask questions to confirm you understood. 

3 - You paraphrase

Paraphrase to check you understood, or to show you are paying attention to what the other person is saying. To follow the example above, you can paraphrase what your coworker said: OK, you when you finish what you are doing now, you help me, right?

4 - You pay attention

When someone talks, you listen, and when you talk, the other person listens. Remember that to listen, you need to be present and have your attention fully on the person speaking. That way, your understanding and contribution to the conversation will be of good quality. People find it annoying if you ask a question that has just been answered, or if you ask the same question twice not because you didn’t understand, but because you just heard the answer, not listened to it.

5 - You respect turns

If someone else is talking, wait until they finish before you start talking yourself. Is it always wrong to interrupt? Well, no. Sometimes you need to interrupt the person to add something that is relevant, but do it respectfully, and don’t make this a habit. 

6 - You are concise

Go straight to the point. Be minimalist. Think about the picture of the messy office and imagine you need to find something there. How does it make you feel? That’s how the other person feels when you use too many words and your message is not organised. Now imagine a clean, tidy, and minimalist room. You need to find something there. How do you feel? Better, right? That's what you want to sound like. 

7 - Your message is complete

Avoid assumptions. You don’t know if the other person knows what you know. Leave no room for confusion and misunderstandings.

8 - Using good body language

Since we communicate more with our body language than with words, pay attention to the following:

• Posture: Have a posture that shows interest: sit or stand straight.
• Eye contact: make eye contact, focus on the other person. 
• Facial expressions: smile, show you are interested in what the other person is saying.

Communicating effectively is key for growing in your career. Don’t take it for granted; strive to improve your communication skills, and you will see the difference they will make not only at work, but also in your life.