The Ultimate Secret to Speaking Confidently

The fear of public speaking is a common experience that is subconsciously mistaken as threatening or dangerous. The discomfort we feel stems from the anxiety you get from the experience itself — standing in front of a room full of people with all eyes and ears on you. Feeling fearful of public speaking is normal, because our brain is trying to protect us from what is perceived as harmful. However, since the act of speaking in front of an audience isn’t actually harmful, the more accurate label is anxiety rather than fear. 

But where do you get the confidence to speak before a crowd? Luckily, it’s not an innate talent that you are either born with or without. It’s a skill that you can learn and master for yourself.  

At work, you will be called to share your expertise through presentation in meetings, speak up in events, or express our opinion during conversations or group discussions. Communication plays a big part in career and life, whether you desire to climb the corporate ladder, develop deeper relationships, or enjoy a better experience in life. 

Throughout my experiences in life, I consistently had the sense of urgency to implement the things I am constantly learning. Personal development and communication became my areas of expertise which is why I am so passionate about sharing what my knowledge to my students in my coaching program. Even though I was shy person with social anxiety growing up, I was able to build confidence using my personally discovered secret tips to speaking confidently. 

By the end of this article, you will have a better understanding of how to build confidence and the tools you can use to start these 10 daily habits of a great speaker. 

10 Ways To Be A Confident Speaker 

Got the speaker genes? There is no such thing! No matter what your experience has been within public speaking, these 10 pointers will show you how to get started to becoming a confident speaker. 

1. Know that speaking is a skill. 

Even if you were not a confident speaker in your younger years up to now, you can reach this goal if you decide to work on your communication skills. Shift your mindset in knowing that this is something achievable for you. 

Pro Tip: The first thing to learn in becoming a confident speaker is to be able to express yourself in words. Emotions are powerful in building relationships and that is the connection you want with your listeners. Start by learning how to identify and express emotions through words. 

2. Make it about them.

“What will they think of me?”

“What if they judge me?”

“What if they don’t like me?”

“What should I do if they don’t understand me?”

These concerns and others like these are the real reason why we feel anxious when public speaking. It’s because we’re making it about us. 

The essence of all communication is to build relationships. Communication is all about them. Shift your focus and realize the true meaning of what you are doing, and the anxiety will fade. 

Pro Tip: Focus on how you can deliver your message to your audience in a way that they will understand and make an impact. Don’t think about them watching your words and movements because they are not. They are there to listen expecting to learn something from you. 

3. Visualize yourself as a confident speaker.

You must have had an experience or two in public speaking whether it was back in school or during your first job interview. It’s important to recognize the feeling of being in that place where you are speaking and someone is very interested in what you’re saying. 

Pro Tip: Visualize what it would be like with you as a successful speaker. Imagine the setup on stage that you dream of. Go into the details of what you will do and what’s going to happen. Make this your daily mental exercise. 

4. Know your stuff!

The most sure-fire way of having a successful talk is having confidence in what you’re going to say. If you know your stuff, inside and out, and you have a deep understanding of the message you want to deliver, you will be able to deliver it with confidence and clarity. 

Pro Tip: Avoid a mental block by researching and writing your own speech. Study and master it so that even if the pointers are jumbled in your brain while speaking, you can reorganize and deliver it clearly. 

5. Learn how to tell stories.

Who doesn’t love a good story? Telling stories is one of the best ways to connect with your audience and leave an impression. It’s because of the emotional connection that they will remember more than the facts that you present. 

Pro Tip: Learn how to incorporate the important facts in your story. This way the audience will remember both. 

6. Dress confidently.

When you look good, you feel good. If making an effort on your outfit for that speaking event you are going to will make you feel more confident, then by all means, take the time you need to prepare to look good.  

Pro Tip: Dress to impress but make sure to dress appropriately for your audience. Choose something that you feel great in and boosts your confidence. 

7. Practice makes it permanent.

The proverb “practice makes perfect” is partially misleading. Depending on what you are practicing, the outcome may not be what you desire. Practice makes permanent. 

Pro Tip: Make sure that you are practicing the right thing that will ultimately produce the outcome you desire. Work with a coach to give you the steps and the feedback so that you know exactly what to practice. A good coach is somebody who has already gone through the journey to mastering their communication skills, so that they understand what steps you will need to take. They will also be able to help you through the stumbling blocks along the way with field-tested strategies. 

8. Know your audience.

Knowing your audience means understanding their language and using it to communicate with them. For example, if your audience is a group of corporate professionals, your communication must illustrate an indisputable understanding of their needs, questions, and obstacles. 

Pro Tip: When getting to know your audience, ask yourself who they are and what challenges are they facing that you want to address. 

9. Don’t dwell on your mistakes.

Everyone stumbles at the beginning and makes mistakes, no matter how small, along the way. That’s because we are learning everyday. If you dwell on what happened from your last talk, your audience will see through you and they will remember that experience. If you move on, they move on. 

Pro Tip: Remember that practice makes permanent. Instead of focusing your energy on the mistakes you’ve made, focus your energy on the impact you’ve already made. 

10. Practice your posture.

Posture is everything. When you change your body to make it feel and move more confidently, you become exactly like what you imagine you’d be — a confident and successful speaker. Posture also involves your unique way to approach a situation. The former requires awareness in proprioception, while the latter requires wisdom in perspective. 

Pro Tip: Take note of the confident posture: Head held up high, back straight, shoulders rolled back, chin up, and eyes looking at the audience at eye level or higher. 

The Bottom Line

The fear of public speaking is not to be confused with the fear we experience when there is real and present danger. Rather, it is the anxiety of being in the spotlight, speaking in front of strangers, and the hesitation we feel about being judged or unaccepted. 

For whatever we want in career and life, information alone is never the key to make it happen. Personal fulfillment, impact, income, purpose — all of these require the right knowledge and understanding. The key is to take action. But we must first know what actions to take, how to make better decisions, and most importantly how to get ourselves to take action when we don’t feel like it.

Are you committed to creating these results for yourself in your life? Over the last decade, I’ve developed the principles and strategies for building true confidence, becoming an effective communicator, adding value in the marketplace, and get more results in life. There was too much information to fit in one article, so I spent dozens of hours and created a coaching program to help you master your communication too! This coaching program is by application only.  Apply now to see if you qualify.