Understanding the Concept of Inner Child Healing

Everyone has an inner child. The inner child represents the child we once were, our experiences, emotions and feelings when we are growing up will create our inner child. If not healed the inner child will continue to influence our behaviours, thoughts and beliefs when we are adults. Our inner child can affect how we respond to negative emotions and view ourselves. 

Relationships are where the inner child will most commonly show up and cause issues. As children we learn how to interact with people and how people should interact with us. We may develop issues with abandonment and fear of  rejection. We will become comfortable interacting with people who interact with us the same way we were interacted with as children. With an unhealed inner child we will be making unconscious contracts with people who compliment our family system. 

Healing the inner child is crucial for personal growth, inner child work allows a person to recognize and address the root causes of their current emotional and behavioural patterns.Inner child work is about becoming a good enough parent to yourself. 

Good Enough Parents

A child needs what are known as “good enough” parents. They are called good enough parents because no one is perfect, everyone has their own unresolved trauma and so no one can be perfect. Most parents have too much unresolved trauma to be good enough. If a child has good enough parents they will know that they are loved and accepted no matter what, they  will develop a healthy self image and a healthy relationship with their emotions. 

A child who grows up with good enough parents will not grow up to become codependent, to fear abandonment or rejection. They will become adults with healthy boundaries, they will be assertive in healthy ways and they will be able to form healthy relationships. 

What Are The Signs Of A Wounded Inner Child?

If you, like most people, didn’t receive good enough parenting it’s likely you have developed a wounded inner child. A wounded inner child will result in difficulty regulating your emotions, low self esteem and self sabotage. Relationships will often be very intense and short lived. Toxic shame will cause a person to either act out through narcissism and abusive behaviour or act in through self harm and addictions. 

Becoming A Good Enough Parent To Yourself 

Inner child work is about becoming a good enough parent to yourself, about giving yourself what you needed from your parents. Giving yourself unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, releasing toxic shame and becoming comfortable with your emotions. 

What Is The Process Of Inner Child Healing?

So what is the process? How do you become a good enough parent to yourself ? Contrary to popular belief inner child healing isn’t about blaming parents or recovering repressed memories. Inner child work is about acknowledging, accepting and making the inner child feel safe. Childhood memories may come up as a person starts to release toxic shame, feel safer and reconnect with their emotions but recovering those memories is not the goal. 

What Are The Benefits Of Inner Child Work?

Inner child work will improve emotional regulation, create better relationships, improve self image and self esteem. Inner child work will allow a person to release toxic shame, stop toxic coping strategies, increase self awareness and self compassion. 

Techniques To Heal The Inner Child

Visualisation is a very powerful inner child healing technique, hypnosis makes visualisation very easy. The mind cannot tell the difference between a real or imagined event. Using hypnosis a person can imagine themselves connecting with their inner child, sending them love and acceptance. Writing letters to the inner child and from the inner child to the adult self can be very cathartic. We use these and other techniques on my four week inner child program

Possible Inner Child Work Challenges

Inner child work can be extremely powerful for so many reasons as we have discussed above it can help to improve relationships, reduce anxiety, increase self esteem and improve self image. Challenges arise when a person feels resistance, fear about giving up the coping strategies they adopted in childhood. Guilt, like they are blaming their parents or that they haven’t been good enough parents to their own children. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have, inner child work is not about blame.