Understanding Stress Responses

Stress is an inevitable part of life and how we respond to it varies significantly from person to person. Stress responses can be broadly grouped according to distinct characteristics and coping mechanisms. By understanding them we can better manage our own stress and support others when they are showing signs of stress. 

Within a team, it is important to know our colleague’s stress response so that we can respond with curiosity and determine how best we can support them - and this helps not to take any response to heart; it isn’t personal.

We can’t change people’s response to stress but we can change how we react to them and how we support them.  

Awareness is the key component in this - we can’t change what we don't notice!

In this article, I’ve outlined five common stress responses and the important characteristics to look out for.

The Exploder

The Exploder responds to stress as if there is an imminent crisis, often reacting with visible irritation, frustration, and anger.

They will blame others, with a tendency to deflect responsibility and blame others for their stress.  Their stress response is often loud and aggressive, involving shouting, arguing, or even physical outbursts.

This type of response is classic fight or flight and therefore storming off in the middle of a conversation is not uncommon! It is important for Exploders to be aware of their behaviour and warning signs and to find healthy outlets for their stress, such as physical exercise or creative expression.

Warning signs to look out for might include increased heart rate, clenching of fists, grinding teeth and muscle tension. 

The Imploder

The Imploder internalises their stress, blaming themselves and often feeling helpless and hopeless.They find it hard to express their stress outwardly, keeping it bottled up and therefore common physical signs include knots in the stomach, tension in the shoulders or stress headaches.

The Imploder tends to direct their frustration inward which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Their stress response can see them withdraw and hide from the world, becoming quiet and distant. Don’t take their response personally, they just find it hard to express their emotions and will struggle to make eye contact in the face of stress. 

Imploders may struggle with the way they see themselves, their confidence, and their self-esteem. A supportive and encouraging environment can help with this.

The Fixer

The Fixer wants to resolve stress immediately, often taking on the responsibility for problems that are not theirs to fix. Their desire to be helpful and to please others can lead them to neglect their own needs, making them reluctant to express their thoughts and feelings.

Fixers have good intentions but risk overstepping boundaries or seeming like they don't have faith in someone else’s capabilities. 

If you’re a Fixer, noticing when you’re going into ‘fixer’ mode is crucial, and realising that you’re not seeking solutions to your stress, you’re just fixing things to distract yourself from the stress.   

Additionally, you risk becoming overwhelmed and exhausted so working on boundary-setting and self-care will be helpful. 

The Denier

By being positive, the Denier dismisses and minimises stress, at times seeming blind to the reality of their upset. You may hear the Denier saying things like ‘I’m fine’ or ‘things could be worse’ as they downplay issues. They keep their emotions bottled up which may eventually lead to an exploder-style outburst. 

By being in denial, the effective management of stress can be prevented leading to a build-up of unresolved issues. Acknowledging stress and seeking support can help Deniers manage their feelings and responses more effectively.

The Numb-er

The Numb-er uses escapism and distraction to cope with stress, often turning to unhealthy habits to avoid confronting their emotions. This could include using alcohol, drugs, or other substances to numb their feelings. Overusing social media, gambling, shopping, or binge-watching TV are common strategies to shun emotion and stay numb.

Numbing behaviors can lead to addiction and further mental health issues. Finding healthy coping mechanisms, such as exercise, mindfulness, or therapy, can help Numb-ers address the root of their stress.

And finally

Understanding these stress responses can help us recognize our patterns and those of others around us.  We can seek appropriate support or give it to others. On a personal level, this can only improve our mental health and feelings of well-being. On a team level, greater understanding leads to strengthened relationships and improved performance. 

If you or your team needs support in better understanding and managing stress - let’s talk. You can contact me on anna.hemmings@beyondthebarriers.co.uk or drop me a DM on LinkedIn.