The Unexpected Benefits of Being Yourself

I had a super weird experience a couple of weeks ago. It was a wax on, wax off moment. Something that I did for years because I loved it — I had no other motive than that — just opened a door for me.

It was a strange moment for me because for years and years I pretended to be someone I wasn’t. It’s who I thought I needed to be in order to succeed. I was wrong — in the extreme.

And the lesson life just keeps teaching me every day is that the only winning long-term strategy, especially in the social age, is to be aggressively yourself.

Your unique character is the bat symbol you throw into the sky. And when you do, Batman appears.

That’s what happened the other day I was filming an episode of Impact Theory with the amazing Leila Janah (check her out.) Her episode was incredible. We clicked to be sure and as I told her a story from my past about big brothering (the experience that planted the seed that has become Impact Theory), what I didn’t realize is that a major influencer was sitting in the audience. One of those behind the scenes “movers and shakers” you hear about in films. He’s a connector. Little did I know, he’d been watching me from afar for over a year, and after he heard that story he thought maybe, just maybe he should help Impact Theory reach a broader audience. After we finished the episode and he and I were finally introduced, we connected over my childhood obsession with breakdancing and early hip-hop. That’s when he knew we had to work together.

That happened all because I was entirely me.

I wasn’t at all worried about what he thought of me. That’s when you’re able to attract the kind of people that can be really meaningful in your life. It’s also when you can really piss people off.

That’s the magic zone — when you’re such a strong specific flavor that some people LOVE you and others absolutely hate you.

And I get it, I’m the black licorice of personalities. I think black licorice is about as delicious as food gets, but I’ve also heard it compared to writhing maggots (Calvin and Hobbes, anyone?).

Be yourself, and filter the world into lovers, haters, and those that don’t give a shit. That’s the key. But it’s hard. It’s hard to get to the point where you’re so secure with who you are that you can plant your flag. But trust me, plant it. Stop trying to be what you think other people want to see. Stop being what you’ve been told you should be.

Start being exactly who you want to be. That’s the only way for your real people to find you. And once they find you, you can do something powerful together.