Unmasking Your Professional Persona
I was asked the other day, "In what way are you weird?"
It was during a networking event, and in my sixty-second introduction to the audience, I remarked that I was a little weird, but that was okay.
We all have our quirks and idiosyncrasies.
Being aware of them can help us achieve more success in our own unique ways.
I knew the person who asked. We'd spoken several times before. They saw me as very typical and very normal.
I'd done a good job of masking with them.
However, given some of the clunky, difficult conversations I'd had with others that day, I knew my mask wasn't perfect.
Networking, meeting new people, and making small talk were not my strong points at the beginning of my journey. These skills had to be learned and refined over time with hours of study, practice, and mistakes.
Imagine a bustling networking room filled with professionals from various businesses. The air is thick with the hum of conversations and the occasional laughter. I always (even now) feel a mix of nervous anxiety and apprehension as I prepare to enter into these social situations like this.
When I find myself in these situations, I put on that mask—a professional image.
I've even given this role a name: Peterg mode.
In Peterg mode, I have the confidence to walk into a room full of people without feeling the urge to flee or hide in a corner.
I can strike up discussions, go through polite small talk, avoid the impulse to interrupt or talk too quickly, remain calm, and listen attentively.
I can even make eye contact in the appropriate ratio, which is considered polite rather than shifty or creepy (that took a lot of practice).
As I don this persona, I feel a shift within me.
It is like slipping into a well-tailored suit.
My identity suit of armour is there to protect me and hide in.
It gives me the confidence to showcase my strengths and engage effectively.
These learned behaviours help me fit in, be accepted, and be perceived as credible and trustworthy.
The question, though, made me aware of how ingrained this role, this mask, this Peterg persona has become.
I remember the early days when I struggled with networking.
My natural inclination was to retreat, to stay in my comfort zone.
However, I realised that personal growth often begins at the edge of discomfort.
So, I studied, practised, and faced countless awkward conversations, making loads of mistakes (scaring and puzzling many people) and learning from each one.
Over time, as I have grown and developed, I have started to bring the Peterg persona closer to my real self.
It began with small steps.
Revealing a bit more about my true interests and passions, letting my genuine reactions come through, and sharing my unique perspectives (letting the weird shine).
This shift in the Peterg personas to be closer to the true me not only felt liberating but also led to deeper and more meaningful connections.
The Peterg mask is my go-to behaviour in these situations. It keeps me safe. In many ways, it is very useful. It is necessary for my business that I put on this mask and play this role.
For me, the mask has become less heavy to wear and easier to maintain as I have stripped away the parts that aren’t me and brought it closer to my true self.
We all conform to fit in, to avoid embarrassment or disapproval.
Not to be labelled as weird.
Yet, beneath the surface, we remain gloriously unique.
Embracing that uniqueness can lead to better relationships, improved authenticity, and the ability to leverage our distinctive skills.
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So, I ask you:
How often do you put on a mask to fit in?
How heavy is it?
How tiring is it for you to carry and maintain it?
What would happen if you allowed your true self to shine through?
Could embracing your weirdness unlock new opportunities for growth and connection?
I encourage you to reflect on your own experiences when networking or interacting with others.
How has wearing a mask helped you navigate conversations and build relationships?
How has it held you back?
How tiring is it to maintain?
However hard we try, the mask will slip, and people will pick up that something does not match.
They may perceive you as untrustworthy or feel a bit uncomfortable around you.
But the closer the masked persona is to our own, the easier everything becomes, whether in networking or other parts of our business and lives.
When it comes to engaging with others, how much of you is yourself, and how much is your persona?
If you struggle with networking and engaging with others, I am here to help. All of the skills I've learned over the years can be passed on to you, allowing you to harness the power of networking, developing relationships, and opening up new chances.
It all starts with a conversation, so give us a shout.
USEFUL RESOURCES I HAVE FOUND
𝐖𝐡at 𝐚𝐦 I 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠
A deep book that examines the notion of self and the inner dialogue that all of us live with
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐦 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠
The Mask You Wear, and how to Take it Off | Allison Spann | December 2018 | 14:13
A very powerful talk about the masks we wear, especially on social media, and our public personas.
A Peek Behind The Mask - My Autistic Truth | Kylia Kennedy | 2023 | 10:38
A profound and brave talk where Kylia Kenedy takes down her mask and shows us who she is.
The Masks we all wear | Ashanti Branch | November 2018 | 8:38
It's an oldie, but a good one about masking and how we do it from an early age.
Thank you for reading and investing some of your time with me.
Stay safe and warm this week and here's to all your successes. 😀
Peterg
Manufacturers of world class, high quality polythene bags for Microbiology, Food Testing and wider industry.
6moVery thought provoking Peter Gregory. My MD and I were talking about this yesterday. Thank you for sharing. ☺️
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6moThis is a wonderful newsletter, Peter Gregory. Masks are something I often reflect upon as well. How many do we use and where? I agree that the closer the mask is to the real Self the more successfully we will communicate meaningfully with others. I have the Untethered Soul on my reading list so thanks for the reminder!
Award Winning Coach empowering Children, Parents and High Achievers to transform the stress of growing up and the overwhelming challenges of life into calm, confidence and happiness. Mindfulness| NLP| EFT| Chakradance
6moLove this deep reflection. Thanks for sharing. I can totally relate. I have been going through the process and it’s been liberating too