The Untold Struggles of Men: #MenToo and the Tragic Case of Atul Subhash

The tragic death of Atul Subhash, a 34-year-old tech professional hailing from Bengaluru, has sparked conversations around men’s mental health and the systematic injuries faced by most men in India, thanks to the flawed framework of Indian judiciary. Subhash’s story is truly a heartbreaking reminder to all, that societal narratives around gender and justice are not always as balanced as they should be. His death has given rise to the #MenToo movement, interestingly highlighting the urgent need for legal reforms and a more inclusive approach to address rising issues like harassment, divorce, and cases of domestic violence.  

The Case of Atul Subhash 

Atul Subhash’s life ended tragically after he endured what he had described as relentless harassment and extortion from his wife, her family, and even a judge! His final note and a heartbreaking video posted on social media detailed the overwhelming pressure that he faced, including false cases, extreme financial demands, and a justice system that seemed to offer him absolutely no help. In his video, Atul expressed the immense torment that he went through, a plight that resonated with many men who silently suffer similar struggles in today’s time.  

One particular comment under his viral video read, “Bro, are you alive? Your post is viral; you don’t have to die anymore”. The commentor’s desperation reflected the collective helplessness of today’s society. Unfortunately, it was too late. Atul’s story left behind not just pain and grief but also a massive call to action!  

Breaking the Silence: Men’s Mental Health Matters 

While our society has made strides in addressing women’s issues, the struggles of men often go unnoticed or are outrightly dismissed. The ongoing narrative often tends to portray men as privileged or immune to any kind of harm, neglecting the fact that at times, they too, could be victims. Men facing domestic violence or false accusations frequently suffer in silence, most often in the fear of societal judgement and ridicule.  

In India, where traditional masculinity is celebrated, men have always been expected to be stoic providers to their family. They are rarely encouraged to express vulnerability, leaving many without the necessary emotional tools to cope with these challenges. When a man leaves an abusive relationship, he is often labeled as cruel, unlike women who are celebrated for their courage to overcome similar situations. Such double standards perpetuate the stigma surrounding men’s mental health.  

The Legal System: A Double-Edged Sword 

India’s legal framework, while essential in protecting women from abuse, can sometimes be used as a weapon against men. False accusations of molestation or domestic violence can cause irreversible damage to a man’s reputation, leading to immense mental anguish for the accused and their families. The societal tendency to side with women in such cases- often before conducting a thorough investigation- worsens the problem. Men accused of crimes face harsher sentences than women who commit similar offences, bringing to light a disparity in how justice is administered.  

For example, in cases of domestic violence, a woman can involve not just her husband but also bring down his extended family, irrespective of whether they live together. This broad interpretation of the law can lead to its misuse, turning a tool initially meant for protection, into a weapon of exploitation.  

The Rise of #MenToo 

The #MeToo movement has been a monumental step towards empowering women to come forward and share their stories and seek justice. However, Atul’s tragedy highlights the need for a parallel platform for men. The #MenToo movement is gaining popularity on social media, demanding a more balanced conversation about justice and support for all genders. 

What we need to understand here is that justice is not a finite resource. Ensuring fairness for one group should never come at the expense of another. As a progressive society (as we proudly claim) we must recognize that men too, can stand as victims of abuse, harassment, and systematic bias. By providing them with the resources and support they need, does not, in any way, diminish the struggles of women, but rather, strengthens the collective fight for equity.  

Addressing Societal Bias 

The societal bias against men manifests in various ways: 

• Domestic Responsibilities: While progressive thinking has led to calls for women to share financial responsibilities, there is little conversation about men sharing domestic chores. An average woman today often has the choice to work or not, whereas men are still expected to bear the financial burden of their families. 
• Divorce Settlements: Men are frequently required to part with a significant portion of their hard-earned money in divorce settlements, even in cases involving infidelity or harassment by their spouses. 
• Media and Public Perception: Men accused of crimes are often vilified in the media before any evidence is presented. Conversely, complaints against women are met with skepticism, reflecting a deep-rooted societal bias. 

Moving Forward: A Call to Action 

The tragic death of Atul Subhash servs as a wake-up call to all of us, in highlighting the need for a more balanced legal system and greater societal empathy towards men’s issues. Movements like #MenToo are very important in fostering a culture where men feel safe to share and express their struggles without having to face the fear of judgement or ridicule.  

While we must continue to support women’s rights and address the challenges faced by them, we must also take a step forward in acknowledging that not all men are perpetrators, and not all women are victims.  

Society’s indifference to men’s struggles only perpetuates the cycle of silence and suffering. It is time to break the stigma and collectively ensure that justice, fairness, and compassion are extended to everyone, regardless of gender.