Use Summer to Hit the Reset Button

Earlier this month, I gave a couple of talks on Academic Excellence without Burnout.

The main takeaway: strong executive functions - or in absence of that, intentional systems, routines, and accountability partners - are the precursors to the kinds of success colleges evaluate students on.

More than that, they set your child up for adulthood - which is really the point, isn't it?

You can access the recording and some amazing free resources, including a how-to video and worksheet on refining your/your kid's morning routine, by clicking the image below:

The thing we did not cover in the webinar are all the things holding your kid back from asking for and getting the help they need. These are the top three I see:

1. Shame. Even for kids without any learning differences, shame is a big one. Comparison is built into our educational system, and kids are constantly thinking something is wrong with them because they don't see others struggling or working as hard as they are. Shame around this feeling of inadequacy keeps them from asking for help. "I should be able to do this on my own" is a common refrain.
2. Still-Developing Self-Awareness. Children and teens are starting to develop self-awareness around their strengths and challenges, but not everyone is on the same timeline. They are used to being told what to do or being prescribed a step-by-step process by an adult, so they are rarely given the chance to figure out what actually works for them on their own. These opportunities to practice and, yes, struggle, are integral to them developing executive functions, problem-solving skills, and the ability to reflect.
3. Parental and Household Dynamics. Yes, parents, sometimes we don't help. We micromanage, judge, compare, overschedule, or fail to accomodate the challenges our child faces. Or, we completely coddle and "snowplow" so they never have to struggle. I'm guilty of this, too. It's HARD! But if we don't step back appropriately, our kids will have trouble becoming fully independent.

So, what do we do?

Take some time, away from the hecticness of the school year, to reset.

Summer is a great time to rest, have fun, and reflect on lessons from the previous academic year.

Without the stress of looming deadlines or daily homework, students can find some breathing room to do the kind of soul-searching that real change requires.

• Help them set an inspiring, yet realistic, definition of success for themselves.
• Allow them to learn and practice key skills without swooping in.
• Reflect on the dynamics that you want to maintain or reframe.

This can be hard to do on your own, so sometimes bringing in a third party to hold space and establish frameworks can be really helpful. Consider bringing in a parent coach or an academic coach to help.

Click here to learn more:

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