Viewpoint: Thanks for Letting Her Know She's Loved

 I can’t speak for my three brothers but I was humbled. I don’t know how many of you know but the Viewpoint appears most weeks in the Western Kansas World in WaKeeney, Kansas, the hometown paper I grew up with.  

 Our mom is in a long-term care facility in Ransom, Kansas, a few miles from the family farm. Mom turned 90 on July 27th.  

 In preparation for the event, we had several sibling discussions. We knew we all wanted to see her but there are four of us and one of her, and we were worried about her getting fatigued from the visit.  

 The second thing we discussed is what to get Mom for her 90th birthday.  

 We decided the best course of action, with issue number one in mind, was four single visits, at least a day apart on the weekend before and the weekend after her actual birthday. That went well, with me being the final visit (best for last?) on this past Saturday.

 Our timing was good. On Monday they stopped visitation because of increased COVID activity in Ness County.

 But what to get her? She has everything she needs and wants and whenever she thinks of something one of us brings it to her on the next visit. Several of my brothers took her flowers. She never has enough pens so she got some of those, she loves imported cheeseburgers, but as you can see - no great ideas.

 My youngest brother Loren borrowed an idea and put it before us. When my aunt turned 90 a few months before Mom, some relatives organized a card shower for her.

 We drafted an ad for the local paper and inserted it for two weeks. (In case you didn’t know, I really believe newspaper advertising works.)

 That’s where the humility comes in. The official population of WaKeeney is 1,946. Mom taught Sunday School, was a substitute teacher and worked at the hospital in her younger years. She was involved in our schools, and our sports, and our church.

 And people remembered her.  

 Sometimes when you are 90 in a long-term care center with your nearest son two hours away, and most of the people you were friends with deceased or unable to drive, you can feel like no one remembers.

 People remembered her. Few of the cards were limited to only a signature. The majority had lines or paragraphs sharing why they remembered her. They told stories of poignant moments in their lives that our mom had a part in.  

 Each of her four sons had time to go over the cards with her, as she shared, I’m sure, the same story four times. The stories gave her a chance to look past the walls of a long-term care facility to the past. The farm she grew up on. The farm she and our dad made into a new family farm. The community she drove to for groceries and hairdo’s, clothing and contacts.

 But, alas, at age 90 her desire to write each individual and thank them won’t happen, although she kept each envelope with return address intact.

 So, the four of us voted and I was honored to be the mouthpiece. I’m sure no one who knows me and my three brothers is surprised.

 So, we want to thank you. We want to thank you for taking the time to write the 90-year-old lady who is our mom. We want to thank you for bringing sunshine into her birthday and every day since. Thank you for helping her to remember good times. Thank you for getting her mind off the not so good times that can accompany physical aging. And, most of all, thank you for letting her know she is loved.