Vulnerability & the potential for Transformation
Niamh Hannan
Chartered Psychologist specialising in building and repairing workplace relationships to unlock potential and boost performance|Emotional Connections at work|Professional Coach|Speaker|EmC Strategy
A while back one of my coaching clients took some time out from our sessions due to challenging personal issues for which they also took time off work. I offered online video sessions and agreed they could contact me when ready.
It got me thinking though. Could coaching perhaps be at its most useful at a difficult time like this? Would you postpone or continue?
I imagine anyone would feel very vulnerable in the face of great difficulty. And perhaps that is when our greatest opportunity for growth occurs, when we are vulnerable. Very often when we feel vulnerable we pull away from others and isolate ourselves. Maybe we are afraid of being seen as weak, we feel ashamed, or struggle to cope. Going through a difficult time, being off work (and probably stressing about that), without your normal everyday routine, social interactions and daily achievements, left with lots of time to think...that could easily lead to low mood and further distress; or it could be potentially life changing, depending on whether we perceive this as a threat or as an opportunity.
My sense is that in order for any good to come out of a tough situation like this, some form of support is needed. Coaching could be that support. Coaching has perhaps the greatest opportunity of being transformational when there is vulnerability. Your coach can be your sounding board, and your mirror to reflect the parts of you that you are least likely to see, to grow awareness and gain insight, to learn and develop as a person.
The rewards can be rich but the work only happens when a client feels safe enough to be fully themselves, to open up and explore the meaning of a situation for them in their life at that time so that they can move forward feeling renewed.
What are your thoughts?
Regenerative Leadership Coach & Mindfulness Teacher, integrating neuroscience, mindfulness, coaching and nature practices to facilitate leaders ready for a better journey
4yGood question Niamh. As the saying goes 'what you resist persists'. Our fears not confronted (#NadineMcCarthy shares the meaning of the word confront - coming face to face with) hold us in their grip. Coaching in this situation can be BOTH supportive and challenging. Standing shoulder to shoulder with our clients as they stand in the face of 'the fire'. As coaches, we can help our clients to find the courage within themselves to do that. Perhaps it's a matter of trusting that our clients will sense when our intention is aligned with their capacity and willingness to confront their fears?
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4yI have always found it very helpful to have support when I've been going through tough times - I think that is exactly when you need coaching.
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4yLove this. Shelley Hutchinson you might like to read
Co-founder, The Life Skills Network
4yGreat question, Niamh. I went to a Director's Strategy course recently, where one of the speakers, a psychologist, said "you can't steer a stationary vehicle". . . It resonates with me. Unless you are actually moving, doing more of what we do best, it's hard to take yourself to the next place. Wherever that may be. . . But unless the person is "recovered" enough to see that they need to move first, in order to "move on" I would recommend treading carefully.
Chief Performance Officer I Flow Science and Performance Consultant I Mentor and Changemaker I Executive Leadership and Performance Coach I Founder of ‘Be The Best You Can Be’ I Sustainable Performance Excellence
4yGreat article and question Niamh Hannan. Our breakthrough moments can come through the right type of intervention, support person and timing yet as you've said, it can be the time where we turn our back and close our hearts to the support that could lead us to that point. Coaching can also be very confronting (i.e. the etymology of the word confront is to come face to face with) and sometimes people just aren't ready or able to commit to coming face to face with themselves or the challenge - just yet. As coaches and leaders, we can always hold the highest intention for our clients and team members and support them from afar and energetically in this way too. Thanks so much for writing this, for sharing and for asking for responses. It certainly got me thinking.