Vulnerable enough to be successful - what individuals, business and actually everyone could learn from vulnerability

A bit more than an article but not quite a chapter - this is designed to be a reflection break, to explore what could be the most important skill for you, your team and your organisation. It’s something we are all capable of, no matter what profession, level of experience or seniority. Enjoy this time investment to explore how your work life could become more fulfilling and ultimately more rewarding.

This summer is a time of transition for me - possibly catalysed my some fairly pivotal things, some painful, some joyous, some growth. At the end of last year I lost my mother, meaning I have no living relatives in that generation - you can’t help but take stock. My daughter is about to embark on an exciting post 16 journey into sport, when it was only two minutes ago she was going to school! And I decided to resign from a company I have loved to start a new chapter. 

So what better time to rekindle an old love of mine, writing. It’s been a wild few years and I’ve been privileged to build so many new skills over that time and insights I’ve enjoyed exploring. One source of learning I’ve always loved is a good audiobook on a dog walk. And it was my most recent listen that inspired this post you are reading now. 

To honour the fact you’ve got this far, let’s take a quick time check. You are about a minute in and there’s probably about another 15 to 20 minutes to go. So if you are up for a little ramble of self discovery and pick up some questions you may want to ask yourself, you are welcome to join me. The suggestions contained here are relevant wherever you are in your career and something to explore no matter how far along the road we find ourselves.

So if you are well hydrated and have adequate protein onboard, let’s get going…

Two of the Four Thoughts That F&*k You Up

I was recently listening to the audiobook version of ‘the four thoughts that f*ck you up’. Many moons ago I studied psychology so I’ve always been interested in CBT and related approaches. The book explores what is often regarded as the precursor to CBT, rational emotive behaviour therapy (or REBT).

The book condenses the approach down to four key thoughts and two leapt out as I reflected on the customers and companies I’ve consulted with over the years as well as some specific context I’ve observed in the last year, as the market finds itself in some uncertainty. These two thoughts are around the damage of dogmatic demands and creating drama out of a situation.

It’s applied to a therapeutic setting, but it got me thinking about how businesses, especially in times of economic challenge, can talk themselves into catastrophisIng. 

The awful terrible things that aren’t

The author of the book, Daniel Fryer, explores how things are almost never as awful as our language or our response might suggest. So if you think about a bad situation that happened to you or even something as benign as ‘how awful the weather is’ …well it may be awful for the picnic you have planned, but how can weather be truly awful? Unless we are talking natural disaster scale, then it simply isn’t. 

Think about all the ways in which it could be worse than the thing that you’re experiencing at the moment. You soon get a reality check of how the words and emotive language to describe situations can escalate what can be relatively benign or eminently solvable problems

And this can come from sources that could be seen as negative or positive (so it’s not just naysayers or low performers, we all can fall into this habit) , but both have a net effect of escalating a problem. With a reality check, an  action outcome orientated path can be found. This is not glossing over problems- it’s acknowledging it (psychological safety) facing it (communicating with purpose) challenging it’s validity (rejecting dogmatic demands and that there is one ‘best practice’) and adapting to the new state (most importantly here, ensuring the overall goal is clear but not catastrophising if it’s not met). Do this and everybody grows, everybody gets the opportunity to discover better. 

How this plays out. Act 1 - In over their heads

I’m honoured to coach or mentor (depending on the need) a number of professionals in a range of settings and I’d like to share two common examples of drama and dogmatic demands in action. I’ve chosen these as they are common and often seen as benign or not really worthy of exploration. They are certainly not the big ticket culture of strategy items, but this plays down their impact. It’s their very ubiquity that makes them powerful. 

A relatively frequent source of frustration is observing people promoted where their suitability, performance or track record is in question. Before I go on, I want to make it clear that this example is entirely distinct from situations where workplace bullying or intentional bad behaviour prevent an individual from promotion and favouring another.

This is about observing others getting promoted into what appear to be or demonstrably through results, promotions way beyond their capability. Take a deep breath as what’s about to follow may be a little in comfortable and a bit of a facing up to what’s in the mirror moment. 

We may conclude that they are politically savvy, playing the system. They may have been in the right place at the right time, they are all talk and no walk. but it’s clear that things aren’t working out (well at least according to your own standards, more on that in a moment) and you find it demoralising that this has happened. If your company is struggling right now, it is particularly painful and can occupy a lot of your peace of mind.

But let’s stand back for a moment - unless they have some significant powers of hypnosis, it’s unlikely that person was in full decision making control of getting that promotion, they put themselves forward for it but others chose them for the role. Whether you believe they should be aware that they are ‘not ready’ or have an inflated sense of their ability, they may not have developed the skills of self reflection that others have, read what you’ve read or they are in a system skewed towards certain people suiting certain roles (we’ll return to this shortly)- in short, unless you have come across the few psychopaths that do exist, it’s likely not as deliberate or calculated as you think.  But the hurt it causes you or the major distraction and noise it causes is real. It could well be a symptom of significant culture challenges in the organisation, but focussing that frustration towards individuals that represent this often amplifies the raw heat of the emotion like a laser focus. Think of a laser as intensifying energy into a powerful heat, highly focused - that energy focused on these individual cases reduce our field of vision but creates a concentrated dose of distraction and negativity.

Accompanying this seeming lack of performance is often absence of clear actionable feedback to improve the situation. But often we take it personally or find it easy to focus only on those points of what we would regard as poor performance. We may argue that they should take responsibility, they should work on themselves, but this is a dogmatic demand. The reality is we can only control our responses, that is our true responsibility. We should honour our own needs and ambitions but when pitted against another, it narrows our view, rather than expand our perspective. 

That pesky thing called Ego

Criticism is frankly a quicker path but it’s rooted in those dogmatic demands. We can address this through enquiry with positive intent - finding out more about the demands and goals of that role or area of the business and opening dialogue to understand more how things work beyond your current experience.  I’ve certainly found that providing a listening ear, constructive critique and a genuine curiosity as to why things aren’t working is far more peaceful a road for me individually. I’m no saint and I’ve been guilty of whats been described above, but I’m also a student of the ego - I reread A New Earth by Erkhart Tolle at least or four times a year! It’s amazing and humbling every time to be reminded of the power of ego over ourselves, structures and society. For me it’s the honest sense check I need. Most reactions can be sourced right back to our own egos fighting for survival, we act on those thoughts before even questioning why it should occupy so much of our mental space, so rapid a reflex the ego has if it feels threatened. It’s uncomfortable to accept but believe me, it’s also incredibly liberating. 

So instead, that offering of an open ear in a psychological safe space can help the low performing person by creating an opportunity for honest reflection on whether things are really working out. 

So either way, it’s likely to yield a far more constructive outcome with less collateral damage. I’ve seen organisations amplify the impact of low performance simply by either allowing a toxic response, hoping it will just resolve itself or a sudden drastic dismissal with no context for the remaining colleagues. Each of these creates its own drama -  time, energy and imbalance that any company can ill afford. 

The green eyed monster?

As individuals, we also have to be honest with ourselves and ask whether or not there is a note of jealousy of regret, of self reflection of ‘but I feel like I could do a better job but I didn’t put myself forward’. So a more interesting question is why you didn’t apply? There could be a myriad of reasons, but exploring your own response and how to challenge it is radical ownership and the path to self acceptance and accepting others. Also be honest, did you want that role anyway? And if you did want it but don’t feel able to put yourself forward, finding a coach could be a very valuable investment.

When to take it seriously - dogmatic demands that create dysfunction

Now we also shouldn’t gloss over another important dynamic here and this one is for the leaders. I don’t want to ignore the very real issue of equity of opportunity. As a leader, your responsibility is to look for those that may not stand up but you know that with coaching  will do a great job. More fundamentally are you truly bought into seeking real diversity or have your subconscious dogmatic demands led to some assumptions about who does things the right way, according to your experience or beliefs? That’s a tough one to own, but vitally important and the process of challenging this dogmatic demand is just as effective here. In fact for true progress at a human and societal level, it’s possibily some of the most important and rewarding work you’ll do.

So on both sides it’s either radical responsibility at an individual level (either for our own emotions or through positive intent from us, encouraging true self reflection in the low performing person) or it’s true investment as leaders  in the belief that potential is there if you coach and create the psychological safety to improve that poor performance or compassionately and openly acknowledge where a promotion mistake has been made.

With regards to issues with a direct line manager or clear negligence in creating psychologically safe teams and organisations - I’ve not explored that specifically here but if you’ve done the self check work I suggest above and know that truly you are working for the wrong person, don’t wait for others to define your value, you are worth better and deserve positive, empowering leadership. 

So that’s one example, and one end of the spectrum…

Act 2 - ‘The mental equivalent of realising you should have started yoga and now you can’t put on your socks’ otherwise known as Rigid Demands

But what can be equally as damaging is perfectionism or rigidity in outcomes - (this is something I love exploring in coaching practice as it can unlock a whole new vein of creativity and acceptance). A deep frustration that we aren’t solving things that must be solved , believing that there is a standard others aren’t meeting, that there is best practice and everything else is suboptimal (writing this makes me recoil slightly as I know this has probably been a feature of any disagreement I’ve ever had with my very lovely husband, who, like me, is not perfect!)

This is more deeply rooted than we may accept, after all this starts at school where the academic standard is narrow but pervasive. The grades determine our future (spoiler alert to all parents reading this and I dearly hope I don’t really have to spell this out but it really doesn’t. I for one want the education revolution sooner rather than later!) 

This again Is essentially dogmatic demands, standards we place on ourselves and others that become almost laws, the ways things should be.

A straightforward example used in the book is there are very few laws that are consistent that we experience as humans. One of them is the law of gravity - so when we throw a ball in the air, what goes up, must come down, you could stand there, throwing the ball for many a year and that ball will still come down (accepting that even this law may not be absolute if the earth’s axis changed or some other unforeseen event!).

From my own world in revenue (and this may be a little controversial) particular when times are tough, we put all the emphasis on the specific sales processes. The protocols that must be followed in all circumstances and evidenced through completion of certain documents, spreadsheets, reports etc.  However, those very frameworks we believed deliver excellence become a defense mechanism, recording what we believe will be valued to protect our job, rather than show us the truth, warts and all. It’s why I’m a believer in sales coaching and clinics as it creates psychological safety, is adaptive and growth orientated. More of a scaffold around which we can build. Process is not the enemy here, but a dogmatic belief that creates rigidity rather than flex is. Often the harder we push those reports, the less reliable the data we get, as fear overrides the truth 

Now don’t get me wrong. There are ways in which you can increase your chances of success with some great fundamentals. Sport is a good analogy here -  there are foundations and frameworks that you need to put in place, our scaffold if you will. Now I know many people do not like sports analogies and to those people I want to say right now, my friends I too was one picked last for every team and represented my school only once in sport and that’s only because no one else would do shot put. I offered no competition and walked away having thrown it a few feet and ripped my rotator cuff muscle. Sport is only my friend later in life, where dignity has abandoned me, leaving me free to be enjoy it just for its own sake.

No, not another sports analogy!….

So forgive me but we are going with golf as the analogy as it is a great example of life played out in sport (please stick with me, even if you are of the good walk spoilt team, it does make sense, I promise!) 

To play the game, you need to perfect your swing and your technique with the different clubs in your bag, but every day that you turn up, the weather, the course conditions, the grass, your sugar levels, nutrition, emotions, events in the way to the course all before you turn up to take tee up that first ball - all of those variables affect what happens next. So it’s true, building your muscle on some key routines that will help you overcome those differences for sure help, but if we are dogmatic, believing that hitting the same shot in the same way with the same equipment every time will work? Well, we are setting ourselves up for almost certainly shanking the ball into a hedge.  It’s because we haven’t accepted what’s actually happening around us. We’ve put in all that work on our technique but it didn’t work, why? Because we prefer control rather than that feeling that we may not quite know what to do but trust ourselves or others that we’ll do our best (or as a leader, coach rather than micro manage). We play the shot we know, often because we don’t know which shot or we lack the confidence to experiment or get it wrong.

Working in sales, dogmatic demands are a killer - either by not adapting to our customers context and environment. demonstrating rather than consulting and forcing our own agenda and deadline before understanding the variables at play for our customers.

For strategists and the senior leadership team, we risk living in a theoretical, historical data bubble where the world around us changes and bumps us off track rather than us choosing to change our shot as the wind direction shifts.

So what’s the answer? Well rather than be dogmatic in my response, I humbly offer an observation from my career thus far.

In both the situations, I personally believe that there is a common denominator and something that I think has led to me being very successful in my career, as an account manager as a people leader as an interviewer in Podcasts, and on TV, and and as a coach. And it’s a word that may appear to be an oxymoron to be used by somebody that has very gratefully being called a high performer.

That word is vulnerability.

Why vulnerability matters (and why it could be our greatest strength)

I have an almost clinical level of wearing my heart on my sleeve and I don’t do it as an affectation. I do it because I benefited from being raised by a parent who experienced the opposite and was determined to not let history repeat itself.

Who themselves were sensitive, in tune with the world around them, were intuitive, but raised at a time where that couldn’t be expressed for religious reasons, family pressures and societal norms (as well as going on to serve in the military) Yet he had such an affinity with nature and the people around him and in such an unassuming way that he couldn’t help but bring me up with warmth and open door to share everything. It was always seen as a good thing, as a positive thing, a strength.

I was also not raised under the talent myth (I point you in the direction of any of the works by the brilliant Matthew Syed for more on this ) - the belief in talent bestowed on a chosen few, which removes our agency and responsibility. The talent myth protects us from vulnerability, as we don’t have to display a not knowing or lack of skill as it becomes a mystic power, determined by fate. The far more pedestrian truth is motivation and practice wins - even if physique or specific mental capabilities give you a head start, they don’t succeed in the long term over those that are motivated and want to put in the work. Oh and another piece of good news is you can accept you won’t want to be good at some stuff and can let yourself off the hook with honesty. Acceptance with a big dose of personal responsibility is liberating.

I also accept it can be a lot for people to be around somebody who is chronically open and I also know that I am very fortunate in having been raised to have a confidence in that expression.

Many people haven’t yet found and may not quite have the voice to express it.

Amplifying the quiet voices

So how do we help people find that voice?  Well vulnerability needs to be seen as a strength, because if you can be vulnerable in terms of things that you’re personally struggling with, it also gives you a mindset to be able to look at the team or organisational or societal vulnerabilities around you, and want to explore making that better. We have to ensure we listen to the voices that may not quite be as loud or as polished but we’re still brave enough to try and put words to their feelings, insights and observations. It means finding ways for people to contribute in a way that doesn’t just reward those who are comfortable to present. I’m completely aware that I’m a little unusual is actually enjoying public speaking! It’s served me well and given me a platform, but there is a danger of lack of diverse voices when we just focus on those more extroverted. Communities of practice are just one of the ways you can provide channels for those who want to help move things forward. You can build and facilitate them in such a way that provides the psychological safety and support to draw out those stories that need to be heard.

There’s also another massive benefit of vulnerability, it means that you are also aware that you can’t possibly have or need all the answers. Acceptance that the world will not bend to your will, but you want to explore how you can make things better. 

Learning from tech vulnerabilities

Even when we think about it from a tech perspective, and we’re looking for vulnerabilities in our code or in our infrastructure, another perspective is we are looking for ways in which we make the experience better, to make people feel safer online for things, to operate more smoothly, to have a better user experience, to reduce friction in the system.

How your organisation responds to a vulnerability is an interesting lesson too, because if it is accepted that this is part of life, it’s part of operating in the world in which you exist, then people come together to look at the actions that need to be taken to communicate effectively to be open and admit that there is an issue And to work through it.  No panic, no scape hosting, no chaos.

It doesn’t come from a place of weakness. It is an acceptance that vulnerabilities will happen and we are taking the opportunity to learn from it. We may not even be able to solve it first time, but we’re going to learn and even create an opportunity for us to share something that we’ve learned that will help life be better. Believe me, it’s not just you or your company that benefits, most customers don’t expect perfection either but you will be judged on your response and culture to solving problems when they arise. 

Why your team (and potentially your investors) will thank you for being vulnerable

Its only thinking about all of this experience from my coaching sessions and.then reflecting on my own journey after listening to Daniel Fryer’s book that I realise that this is a strength that I bring into the world that I wasn’t even aware of.

It arose as I was looking at the survey results from my team. It was moving to read them because they were so beautiful, but what I noticed was the constant theme was psychological safety of wanting, how they appreciated the space with light and humour, but with outcomes in mind. I can’t thank my team enough for seeing that that’s what I try to bring into the world.

I can also see an application for vulnerability and the impact of drama and dogmatic demands at a CRO and CEO level, particularly with the current dialogue around funding receding, increased bootstrapping or struggles to meet KPIs from funders and shareholders. These are real things for sure  but often like in news coverage, the language is sensationalist. I loved economics at university, I still can’t quite explain why! And although this is not quite in the realms of Newtons law, thus far in contemporary economics, the cycles of growth and retraction are pretty well documented. So this too shall pass.  But whilst you are in a slump, it is more important than ever to be conscious of the language used in your organisation. The area of finding efficiencies is particular prone to this challenge. We ask our SVPs, VPs, c suite and strategy ops to give us ideas on where to cut the cloth or use external consultancy to find the bloat in the system.  This is a time to bring awareness to the language and reasoning used, because often dogmatic demands or dramatising creeps into the diagnosis, often unconsciously. Our frustrations, fear (or lack of confidence), past experience or often just language habit can narrow our view.. We find a reason (or are presented with a reason with enough doom mongering to shake us)and we cling on for dear life, following it with utter focus, to the detriment of our peripheral vision, a purposeful stride into a dead end.  

Surely execs don’t fall for this? They do because, surprise, they are human too and arguably slightly more at risk here, as they are often perceived to have the answers and need to provide utter clarity and direction. So how could vulnerability possibly be of value? Well I’m not going to go over the well worn streets of Blockbuster and Kodak, but you know where I’m going with that. I am aware that the title of this section suggests that investors will also be happy with vulnerability. Now at face value what I’ve just said there flies in the face of everything we know about markets, identified weaknesses are the fuel for crashing share prices. However could it be argued that what is really happening by the time it hits in market sentiment is vulnerabilities ignored? We left it too late and our dogmatic demands left us blind to addressing systemic issues.

Back to the ‘why I should have started yoga years ago’ analogy or why flexibility is the antidote to dogmatic demands

So what we need is a balance - I’m not suggesting utter chaos, but just as my father would explain to me why flexibility is so critical in engineering, so too does it apply to our mental well-being, relationships, performance and strategy. This is called flexible preference.

I have an example of my own to share. I’ve loved my experience as a leader, it’s difficult not to when I had such a phenomenal team and worked at an incredible company. But my life and needs are changing so it’s time to move on. But what to? 

I challenged my belief (or a broader dogmatic demand) that growth has to be demonstrated through promotion. This is trickier than it sounds when society expects it and anything less is questioned. Through challenging that and letting go of the accepted norm, I’ve been able to focus more on where I am in my journey, what I need, the experience I would like to build to become a more effective coach in the long term, how I can bring my skills to bear to build customer value in a critical space and where in a company lifecycle that my strengths blossom.  My preferences then became broader and the search was based less on seniority and more on culture, organisational fit, lifecycle and impact.  

I needed to apply what I would for others in a coaching setting to myself - being less focused on a specific role or title and tuning into what you enjoy and being more open minded to how you get it. Many aspects of leadership and coaching I’ll continue to express in my writing and podcasting, whilst nourishing the side of me that loves consulting with customers and helping a company build its reputation and base.

Flexible preferences are equally relevant to individuals and organisations. Rather than dogmatic demands, flexible preferences enable us to have an outcome in mind, adapt and remain more mentally healthy through the process.  So let’s look it this now at an organisational level.

How flexibility builds strong organisations

Flexible preferences help your company build more psychological safety, resilience and a higher chance of economic success.  Wandering back into the world of tenuous sports analogy, if you cannot adapt your targets to market conditions, you’re stuck believing you need to drive that ball 300 yards down the fairway, because everyone else took a driver, despite the fact the wind it putting that ball straight  in the water (apologies for golf analogies but my daughter is a great golfer and I’m taking in the knowledge through parental osmosis! Please insert a suitable non sports analogy of your choice 😁).

For example,  if your current strategy is x% percent growth no matter what, is that putting together the best overall score? Would some safety shots be best? - a little more investment in a feature that customers will love, a discount for loyalty and referrals, spending some time on after action reviews or refactoring, investment in an internal coach, secondment opportunities to build better cross functional understanding? It’s worth playing with the numbers here to see what alternatives there could be. I’m not saying all or any are right for your business but rigidity is the enemy of performance. It’s a wonderful, messy world out there, why should your company be any different? 

It all leads to culture

Then the all important North Star, culture. Everything we’ve explored here is governed by and fed by vulnerability. When it is not valued you’ll see it and feel it - when your low performer hides behind platitudes, political savvy, side stepping or buck passing. When dogmatic demands lead to cover ups, panicked deals, product issues driven by reactive strategy and inadequate allowance for quality. Where drama rules through lack of transparency, sudden gear shifts, company cheerleading  inappropriate to the reality (this is hugely damaging - the ambition is to get everyone behind the cause but authenticity rules here). Where the role you play at work becomes ever further from you.

When it’s valued, vulnerability drives insightful conversations that shed light on blind spots. Where ideas are welcomed but more importantly honoured. This means acknowledged and  being brave enough to give feedback when ideas aren’t taken forward - done right, that’s coaching, not heartbreak. When not knowing but seeking to understand is one of the highest values skills in your company. Where your morals are not compromised for your pay check and you are able to express them without fear for your future prospects. 

Why vulnerability is a team sport

So whether a leader or individual contributor, seek out places, people and projects that enable you to explore flexibility and creativity for yourself - Vulnerability is risky and it can be fragile - it needs the right conditions to grow. I’ve been incredibly fortunate and I am so grateful to have found people and places to enable me to explore this and lead me to write this article. Ensure the people in your life that foster the authentic vulnerability in you know it, so they not only receive the recognition they deserve but can continue to model it and nurture it.

Call the people that have helped you out by name, because if they have treated you in a way that has fostered your ability to be vulnerable, to be curious, to get things wrong and put it right, they need to know so we can multiple the effects. I’ve included a roll call of some of the amazing people who have led me to want to write this and contribute to my career success so far.

I think you’ll agree, this is no MBA thesis! But it’s a conversation and one I’d love to have with anyone who wants it.

Acknowledgments

So I said it’s important to call out those that have and continue to contribute to your journey. It’s always dangerous to decide to shout out people as I know I will have left out some very important people here, please forgive my shocking memory!

I want to take a moment to thank a few very special people who saw and valued vulnerability - Aaron Skonnard , Julian Wragg , Nate Walkingshaw . Paul Morgan , Joseph DiBartolomeo , Colin Steed , Dr. Nigel Paine , Kara DelVecchio , Anne Dobey , Isaac Strack and most recently my leader, Marion van Leeuwen-Kemmere . I’m not sure anyone on this list would do things the way I do them! But they accepted and trusted it nevertheless. I ask all of them one more thing, please keep doing it, keep trusting, even when it’s scary 😁 because you changed my life for the better. 

Alongside this I had the most supportive and cheerleading colleagues and friends at Pluralsight anyone could wish for - Ali Parkinson , erin mcnamara , Dominic Jukes (MCIM) Mary-Christine Nolan , Katy Reid Fran Sotakova , Nicole Nutter Christi Nelson Simon Allardice Arlene Hetherington 🍀 Genco Orkun Genc Beth French Kelly Long Sarah McCandliss Stephan Beurskens Ellen Griffith Jean-Christophe Dejongh Nicholas Hnatiuk Jakob Kraft Tom Goldenberg Wendy Nagy Phillip Angerhofer , Philip Wensel Andrea Russell Simba Zhanje Nick Savage Ilker Bozkir Paul Clegg Aaron Holt Marieke Smits Keith Costello Gráinne B. Evanna Kearins Shawn Evans Agnieszka Legowik Sapphire Reels Abi Williams . Sarah Doss Shannon Malooly Gary Eimerman Kirby Haygood Don Gannon-Jones 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ Roanna Russell Colin Fearon Vincent Thomas Shannon Lavoie Brent White

The customers that enabled me to consult in such a meaningful way, I’ve grown so much thanks to these people over the past few years. What marks these individuals out is how much they valued open and honest conversations and could tolerate my humour! Seshadri Venkatachalapathi Wendy James Sara Milne Neil Davis Richard Clayton Rob Wheeler Rachel Higham Rachael Grieve Nick Wadge Juan Gómez-Reino Garrido Steve Suarez® John Shurmer Martin Spence, MCIPD and TAP.dip Janine Barnhoorn Alvaro Caballero Jonathan Blakesley Ian Wallace Gareth Butler - take a look at the work of everyone on this list and you find change makers who aren’t just excellent in their own right but lift up others around them.

There are so many more colleagues and customers I could shout out but we are reaching the point where the music is being faded up and they are about to pull me from the stage!

But before I go, I have to acknowledge a very special person. Bree Smith has always helped me own this, even when vulnerability felt like a weakness. Find a Bree, your life will be better for it! This may even become one of the books I promised myself I’d write one day and that’s thanks to Bree, a ray of light x