Waiting for a Job? Never do these 5 Things

Or else You’ll pay a High Price later.

On one hand, you have all this free time, but on the other hand, you never asked for so much of it.

You’ve applied to several places and continue to do so, and so life nowadays is basically you in a bland waiting room, punctuated by the occasional virtual interview. The point is not whether you’ll get a job or not — of course, you will — but how will time in this gray room of life change you.

Being here was not your fault. But you shouldn’t end up embarrassed by what you see in the mirror after all this ends. You shouldn’t be saddened by a defeat that was never your mistake.

There’s the standard advice about eating right and exercising and so on during this period, but there’s also some specific tips that tend to fall between the reams of cliched suggestions. Tips that sometimes make the difference between a life in control and a life adrift.

There are five tips that I know are likely to have an immense impact on how this episode of your life turns out. While I’m certain you will have a job soon and likely a good one, these critical ideas will ensure that you emerge on the other side with your self-esteem and confidence intact.

1.Don’t Oversleep.

The temptation is almost unbearable. Imagine your hottest celebrity crush personally beckoning you to bed.

It starts with sleeping just a little bit more the first morning because you’re tired and could use the rest. And in a shockingly short period of time, you will end up like a friend of mine who now wakes up at 3 pm.

Set a time, it doesn’t have to be too early, but always get up at that time. If you have to, take a nap in the afternoon, but don’t oversleep.

Sleeping late consistently is like shockwaves for your internal physiological systems including your appetite, your mood, and your cognitive abilities. Even more worryingly, there is no way you will feel good about yourself waking up that late. Unless you’re a Saudi prince, you will spend the day feeling that the entire day has been lost and that you are not in control of anything.

Get up on time consistently, and take charge of your day with confidence and power.

2. Don’t avoid Friends.

A sense of shame naturally pervades our mood, thanks to our social conditioning. Holding a job is a matter of pride and hence losing one seems shameful. I completely disagree with the logic, but that’s what our primitive brain deduces.

This shame then also gently convinces us to avoid friends and social gatherings. We avoid calls, or keep the calls really short, and generally try to keep to ourselves.

The problem with that thinking is that we’re also avoiding the best pain-killers for our condition. Friends, the genuine ones that is, are sympathetic and a chat with them provides a subconscious validation of our self-worth. Talking to them is a welcome distraction and a source of good news and interesting ideas.

I can’t speak for everyone’s friends, but the good ones never give you reason to be embarrassed. Even the clumsy ones are supportive, understanding, and provide a cathartic outlet for your inner pain.

And the sensitive ones will actually help you exorcise your feelings, reframe your anxieties, and move forward to a more positive frame of mind.

3. Don’t stay Indoors all the time.

This may be asking for a bit much given the cold months ahead and the ongoing restrictions. But as a general rule, it is safe to believe that even if one has no specific or urgent work, it’s a good idea to step outside into the sunlight and fresh air.

Don’t rush to order everything online; sometimes step out and visit the neighbourhood grocery store.

Don’t always order in your meals; take a few minutes to walk or drive down to the restaurant.

If nothing else, pay an occasional visit to your local coffee shop and read the newspaper. I know it’s not exactly outdoors, but it’s still better than your couch.

The benefits of sunlight and fresh air cannot be overstated, and a little walk can only be good for you. Interestingly, the benefits are just as noticeable for the mind as they are for our physical self. Stepping outside will activate a different mood almost automatically. It activates the hormones that regulate and lift one’s mood, and reduces the ones that raise your adrenaline.

A simple walk outside will help refresh your mind, your mood, and your resolve.

4. Don’t Watch more than you Read.

I’m not one of those snobs who doesn’t own a television set. I subscribe to four different streaming services and I have most of my meals in front of the television.

However, I also make the time to read, especially beyond newspapers and social media.

This hiatus in your life is a rare opportunity to build your skills and knowledge. You are no longer constrained by your hours at work and the fatigue that ensues. This is a great opportunity to pick up good books and enjoy them at your pace.

Most folks however spend this time binge-watching stuff that is at best, interesting human stories, and at worst, reality-show garbage.

Even at its best, the stuff on your screen cannot give you the deep mental workout that a good book can. Nothing you see on your TV can enhance your knowledge or make your smarter the way the printed page (or e-ink page) can.

We all have books that we have wanted to read for a while. There’s a good chance you even bought it, but never got around to starting it. So, starting should be easy.

And it’s going to be difficult at first. You may not be used to reading or sitting continuously for a stretch. So start small with just a couple pages in a sitting. But please start.

And at the very least, don’t get pulled into social media. Keep a strict time-limit on how much time you spend there.

You know those terrible reality-dating shows, even those are better than social media. But then that’s like saying that Cancer is better than Ebola.

5. Don’t Suppress your Feelings.

Good of you to stay brave and positive. Each day is nothing but rejection and humiliation, but you still find the strength to stay upright and keep fighting. Well done!

But it’s also okay to feel shitty sometimes.

This situation was unexpected and likely could not have prevented. You are not at fault, and sometimes life can seem unfair. It’s okay to get a little angry, upset, pissed, frustrated, sad, mad, annoyed, etc.

Don’t suppress or ignore these feelings because that would be like trying to bottle a volcano. The only way to handle a volcano is to let it spew its rage out. It calms down after that.

Find someone to talk to, and share. It doesn’t make you weak to do so. If anything, it takes a strong and secure person to admit their sadder thoughts. Weak people are afraid of their feelings.

You will still be strong the next morning. In fact, you’re likely to be stronger because you have worked through and dispelled your feelings for now.

Being brave and being sensitive are not mutually exclusive. The opposite of feeling upset is denying that you are upset. Feeling bad is a part of knowing yourself, and knowing yourself is a part of being strong and stable.

And as a last point, I have one more don’t to add:

Don’t give up.

There is so much around you that gives you reason to doubt your future and your chances. All of that is true.

But remember that it was only an extraordinary turn of events that brought you here. In other words, you didn’t do this and this was a highly unlikely scenario.

People have survived far greater catastrophes, including huge wars, natural disasters, and shocking personal tragedies. It seemed impossible to them too, but they’re okay now. And so will you be.

There is no rational reason why this will not pass.

And so, keep doing what you can, and make this episode a period of growth for you. The version of you coming out the other side should be smarter, healthier, more self-aware and more confident.

You should be proud of that person.

Thank you very much, and as always, Stay Cool and Keep building a Better Life. Cheers!