No way forward but through - the hardest decision I've made in business so far

I’d like to tell you a story. My story.

It starts 3 years ago during the pandemic. COVID-19… you may have heard of it?

At the time I was working as a bartender and a little bit as a singer still, but quickly in March 2020 found myself completely without work. I’d been contemplating a career change and, hey, if you’re looking for a sign that’s about as direct of one that you can possibly get.

The idea of wealth management had been bouncing around in my head for a few years. Maybe it was because I was the kind of nerd that tracked every penny he had in a custom-made excel spreadsheet and invented fake stock markets in Halo 2 roleplaying (yeah, we’re talking DEEP nerd, that’s a made up game inside of a completely different video game for those who don’t know). Maybe it was because one two many people had said “wow, you really like this stuff, maybe you should do it as a career” in an attempt to get me to stop talking about retirement planning at a cast party. Maybe it was because I love nothing more in this world than hearing people’s stories and trying to help however I can.

So, I decided I wanted to get my foot in the door somewhere – anywhere – in the finance industry and figured I could cut my teeth and start a new career. I just needed to find that door.

One day, and I swear you know this is true because you can’t make this up, I was serving a table at the restaurant I worked at when a family came in. Being a hot day on a great patio in July, the husband asks me for a recommendation on some wine. After giving him my usual spiel, he responds, “Wow, you sure like your wine, as you a sommelier?” “No,” I respond, “Actually, I’m looking to get into wealth management as a career.” “It’s funny you should say that…” he said, as he produced a business card, “I work for IG Wealth and they’re looking for people, give them an email and use my name.”

Door, meet foot. And in November of 2020 I accept a position to start as a Consultant for IG Wealth Management. The world was shut down, I didn’t really have much of a warm market, I even distinctly remember, a little sheepishly and embarrassed, asking my director what “the grid” even was? Needless to say, there was a lot to learn.

What I did have though was three things: I loved to hear people’s stories, I had the absolute best team of leaders (shout-out Yvonne and Ali) and support behind me, and I was an absolute evangelist about the power of having a robust and holistic financial plan.

And, by God, it worked. Over the past 3 years I have had great successes: I built my practice from effectively $0 to $17M in assets managed, sat for my financial planning designation and found myself ranked #3 in the country among my peers, and currently rank among the top-tier of financial planners at IG (which itself is the top tier of financial planning firms in Canada) for planning quality scores.

I’ve been there to celebrate clients welcome a new baby to their family, navigate the quicksand of a messy divorce, and to be there for them when a loved one has passed on.

I’ve helped a lot of families, but no matter how many I’ve helped the biggest thing I’ve come to learn over the past few years is that I can’t help everyone.

And that’s okay.

So, this summer I took two hard looks: the first was at my book of business and identified what families I had with me that I really was not able to truly help with the work I and my team do; the second was in the mirror at myself to truly accept that what they need is a new relationship. And so, I decided to help them in a different way: by finding them a new home with a new advisor, one that would be able to help them where I can not.

Ultimately, the numbers came out and I would be transitioning about $5M, about 30% of my book and about half the families in it.

That was scary.

I had spent 3 years clawing and scraping, learning the business, learning how to prospect well, stepping forward one step and then being sent back two – throwing so much spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks you’d think I was Chef Boyardee. “Am I really going to give that up?” I asked myself?

But I knew, as I looked in that mirror, it had to be done. It was the right thing to do for my business and, more importantly, it was the right thing to do for those families.

Everyone tells you that it’s hard to make a cold call to get a new client, but what nobody tells you is that it is infinitely harder to call a client you care about and have a “break up” call. If making the decision to change my direction was scary, this was terrifying. So, either to make it easier for myself or to possibly make it much, much worse, I decided to make the first call to my best friend. You know, that kind of “I’m going to give you some money just to support your business when you’re starting out” friends – believe it or not my very first client.

I picked up the phone, dialed the number, and after what seemed like an hour of ringing heard him pick up on the other end. I laid out the situation very direct but very warm, I told them about the specialized work we’ll be doing in the future, how that work will be specifically beneficial for business owners, executives, and family trees with more complex legacy planning and philanthropic goals, I told them that because of that certain families of ours would find that work helpful and certain ones would benefit more from a warm hand-off to a new advisory team we’ve already set up for them. Then, I gave them a choice, “hearing that, where do you feel your family would best be helped?” I asked.

And in that moment something happened. “Yes, I think that second one,” he said, “that makes a lot of sense. Congratulations, man, I’m happy for you. Thank you for all the help and I look forward to hearing from the new team”. He hung up the phone and I sat there, a little dumbfounded – this was not the reaction I expected. Don’t get me wrong, I was hoping he wouldn’t be angry, but I did not expect “Congratulations”. But, fair enough, he is my best friend after all.

But then it happened again. And again. And again. “Congratulations”, “I’m so happy to hear of your success”, “You’ve been so helpful for us, but we know we’ll be in good hands”, I heard those phrases more often than you’d believe as I made those calls. And sure, there was one or two angry responses, a few clients who said they’d probably would explore other options, but the vast majority was love and thanks that I got back.

I’ve been thinking a lot since then of why I got that reaction. What I’ve come to is this: keeping hold of someone, a client, friend, romantic partner, doesn’t matter, when you know – in your heart – that you are not for them and they are not for you… that’s not an act of love. As they say, “if you love something, let it go.” So, when you do let go of someone like that they will pick up on that energy, and they will give it back to you.

And I now find myself in a position I couldn’t dream of just a few months ago: my practice is now lean, mean, and singularly-focused on the kind of work that inspires me to be making financial plans on a Saturday morning in bed (don’t worry, I do have work/life balance though). I have the courage of conviction to keep it this way, and the capacity to double my efforts in acquiring new business that’s in-line with my vision. I know that every single name that shows up in my book of business is now someone that benefits from the work we do and is someone I love working with.

Most importantly, I am happy. I love this business and now, truly and entirely, I love my business.

I’m writing this post because I know that there are other advisors, or other business owners of all kinds, who find themselves looking in that mirror every day grappling with the same fears. I don’t need to tell you that your business will be better for doing this, many great thought leaders have done that far better than I, but what I will tell you, as someone who just went through it, is that your clients will be better for it – not just the ones you keep, but also the ones you help to find a new home.

If you find yourself represented in this post and need help, want someone in your corner to give you that courage of conviction, or even just want to vent – my DMs are open and I’m happy to help in whatever way I can.

If you’re thinking about this seriously, you’re doing good. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy, and we’re all in this together.