We are spiritual beings on human journey

Our problem is that we see spirituality as something to be pursued. What we don’t realize is that we are spiritual by our own nature. Only difference is some are aware of it some are not. So, firstly, be as aware as you can be. With awareness it will be natural for you to realize that there’s very less in the world that you actually know, and trust me, don’t think of this realization as a small thing. This very realization that I don’t know, can open doors that you never knew existed. So, once this comes in your experience, automatically, you’ll begin to see everything as much bigger than yourself, rather bigger that the ego that we are.

Do you want to swim and you feel like exploring the whole ocean. You’ve completed your training and now you know all the techniques and tricks. But, each time you dive into the ocean, every few minutes your breath demands to come back to the surface for oxygen. Now, somebody gifts you an oxygen cylinder. There’s nothing stopping you now. A guru is that oxygen, he’s that life energy. Even with all your awareness, dedication, commitment and consciousness it is difficult to do it without your guru’s grace. But now don’t go guru shopping.

Do not go searching for a Guru. When the pain of ignorance within you becomes a scream, a Guru will come in search of you. Just keep your internal fire burning. So, if I have to be brief, bring all your awareness to the fact that I don’t know. Keep the fire burning. Grow in guru’s grace. One can start a spiritual journey without a guru through reading books on the subject, through trial-and-error self-experimentations. Guru joins a seeker midway to introduce depth. We need to discard ahankaar- ego and humbly accept guidance of the Guru. Guru can be a God Deity, a genuine little known Spiritual Master in body or spirit form. attaining spiritual heights is not possible without guru.

It is a point of admitting that I don't know. Anything about myself, this life, this universe, why I exist, why my life is the way it is…nothing I know for sure. Knowing and admitting that I don't know is the starting point. Let that sink in. Now without a guru, it's not impossible, but it's tough. The very fact that you are asking for a starting point is in a way seeking a Guru. You already are near the starting point.

You already are seeking a Guru. When your urge is very strong a Guru will appear. Have no doubt about it. For me it was Sadhguru, and with him my experience of life has changed dramatically. So, taking help of Guru is perfectly okay. After all what you are trying to make happen requires you to drop the ego(even if it's imaginary). Accepting a guru's guidance is also one step in the same direction. Drop that which is holding you back.

I began with reading Shrimad Bhagwad Geeta as is where is. It was written by a follower of Srila Prabhupada who had gone off on an Advaita neo- spiritual tangent for some reason. At the time, of course, I didn’t know the difference. So I thought it was legit. It was exhilarating and I often felt shivers down my arms and body reading it. But I had no practical knowledge of how to go about stuff. My grandfather was a disciple of Gulawani Maharaj, and a devotee of Bhagavati. He had a tattered copy of Ramakrishna Paramhansa’s Marathi biography.

I will admit. It was astounding. Ramakrishna’s life is extraordinary, notwithstanding my anger towards His rubbish take of: ‘all paths lead to the same goal’ (Today, I accept Ramakrishna as a spiritual Giant but I reject His teachings and his disciples’s views about Him, just like Vaishnavas do with Buddha). Anyway, I cried a bit for Bhagavati Kali and felt great attraction towards Her. But I still had no concrete proof of Her existence. Then I moved on to Autobiography of a Yogi.

But, alas, still no absolute proof of Krishna and His world of love. So, having hit a dead-end of spiritual Masters, I dove again into the world of Maya like a pig dives in the gutter. I spent almost 5–6 years trying to pursue sex, wealth, good food and intoxication. Then, calamity struck. In the meanwhile my friends had already moved on. Naturally, having no recourse. It was so natural. He scooped me up in his all-reaching arms like a mother gathers her child, but it didn’t happen all at once.

In Shrimad Bhagwad Gita, there’s a verse describing the various types of devotees. I was the type of devotee who turns to God after facing immense difficulties in life. So, this time, I actually followed the sadhana. No collecting verses. No defeating other people. Just sadhana. It is the only thing a helpless being (the soul) can do which pleases an Omnipotent God. And makes sense, doesn’t it? What will the Owner of the universe want from us? What can we give? Of course, we serve Him with all our power and strength, but at the end of the day, it is the tear that trickles out of love for that Godhead which pleases Him the most.

Alas, however, the novelty wore off. The old allurements of Maya began to pop their heads up. The mind drifted off the old persons and objects of interest, and naturally, realizing the sins I’d committed against them. This, and the fact that a supremely pure Associate of God and God Himself had witnessed all those sins and dirty things of mine, made my stomach churn with fear, regret, and anxiety. This was a very dark period in my life. Little did I know that God is compassionate beyond imagination.

I sometimes well up and feel like bawling when I see an unfortunate person or animal, an act of childlike innocence or a simple person. I feel compassion for animals much more than before - my mind is getting purified very nicely. The world smiles at me wherever I go. What else can I say? I’ve been promised very great things soon enough (not verbally or physically, but by sheer direct communication of the divine in my mind. It will be a while before I enter my spiritual body, but I have no qualms. The number of births I have to undergo are very limited. Fortunate are those who have. They are very dear to Shri Krishna & Radharani and will enjoy special status in the divine world. Jay Shri Gurudev